Rams Horn International

All life is given to us by the Mother of Multiples. It is her greatest joy - a delight to her heart of hearts to see the worlds of this universe filled to the brim with her children - all the life they can possibly support.

— Prelude to the Holy Book of Life

A Nest of Do-Gooders

Have you a problem that needs a listening ear?
Do you need a bowl of soup to feed yourself or your children?
How about a spot of tea or a blanket to cover you in the cold winter's night?
Are you looking for an opportunity for embarking on a new life?
Look to your friendly neighborhood chapter of RamsHorn, where we all do life together!

Ummmm. Shouldn't Mother Ruva be wearing some clothes? I mean, it is snowing tonight and she is 89 years old...

— Leonard the Acolyte

A Secret Organization with a Pubic Face

Rams Horn International is your friendly neighborhood group of evil busybodies out to help everyone they can before they take over the world and turn everyone into SLIME. By providing meals and assistance to the poor and downtrodden, they are able to disguise their diabolical schemes from their intended victims. Their numbers grow and swell with the naive as they are joined by those who wish to help others in need, and who need help to get through life's difficult times. Because their generous activities are so obviously helpful to the community, they take in well meaning business owners and young idealistic politicians who will give them money, goods and services which are used to do enough charitable good works to keep up pretenses. The bulk of monetary gifts however, are siphoned off to provide the leaders of this evil organization with the finest of luxuries and to build their diabolical slime making ritual magic devices.

But, Why Slime of All Things?

That's a great question, I'm glad you asked!
As a secret evil cult, Rams Horn International adheres to the belief that the Mother of All Life cares about the quantity of life in the universe, having seeded the universe with primitive life forms only. The secret mysteries of Rams Horn teach that more evolved forms of life are a biological error amd are grossly, disproportionately greedy and resource consuming. As such, they are not fit to be allowed to continue to live in the universe populated with the Mother's own seed - single celled creatures. They seek to return all higher forms of life to more primitive forms - such as algae and microbial lifeforms that feed on minerals and sunlight thereby increasing the total amount of life in the universe astronomically. They take aim at the most sophisticated forms of life starting with sentient and sapient beings, and work their way down the evolutionary tree, focusing on devolving those life forms that consume lower life forms such as people, all sorts of predators including cats, dogs, vultures, snakes, bears, tigers, and herbivores including sheep, cows, deer, bison, giraffes... The list of offending life forms goes on and on. All forms of life that are parasites on the abundance of life that SHOULD be in charge of Arrhynsia must go!

Life! Glorious Life!

Alternative Names

The Black Goat Cult, Cult of the Mother, Life Forever, Seeded by Intent

Leader

Grandma Ruva

Ruling Organization

Circle of Spinsters

Deities

• Shub-Niggurath

Location

Arcadia

Related Species

• Dwarf

They're the most pathetic evil organization I've ever had to fight. Their evil artifacts have zero - and I mean absolute zero artistic merit. Where are the skulls covered in blood? The ritual circles with demonic runes? The caskets of gruesome bones and sacrificial knives? Even their "scary symbol" is the horn of a stupid domesticated animal that provides milk and cheese and meat and wool. Really? How am I supposed to get any hero cred for defeating a cult filled with little old ladies and peasant farmers?

— Jasper Shimmerscales, Acolyte of Guldari

The Inside Circle

The hidden masterminds of this diabiolic group is the Circle of Spinsters, a devious group of ancient femme fatales whose bodies have seen better days. The Circle is led by Grandma Ruva who was once the celebrated Miss Dra'akthor Massif in her early twenties. Now a rabid follower of the Blessed Mother of Many, Grandma Ruva can be depended on to smoothly navigate the most difficult challenges facing the secret cult. She is never far from her simpleton son Belu, who struggles with language and simple concepts such as eating with his mouth closed and using the bathroom in appropriate (private) locations. Grandma Ruva always wears a gold chain that threads through what appears to be a gold wedding band inscribed with strange script. Some acolytes have reported that this script and indeed the entire ring will glow an eerie green color, but follow ups on these observations have never been successfully accomplished since the acolytes seem to all be sent to distant posts for Ramshorn mission trips where unfortunate accidents are frequent occurances.
Hiding behind masks of sweetness and light, the Circle of Spinsters plots the demise of all the men who spurrned their advances in their youth, selecting them to be featured in their monthly magical rituals. Their victims are kidnapped, then, surrounded by naked adherents to the most secret mysteries, the unhappy sufferers are transformed into slime and fed to Grandma Ruva's pet eldritch beast, a creature that is never seen in daylight, but is reported to be fearsome indeed.