Barnaby Pillars
They scorched the earth and southern skies
excerpt from Nocturne for Acaesura by B. Pillars
(Who? Who? Who? Who?)
For borrowed time and dread surmise
(Who? Who? Who? Who?)
As demons came to rape their land
(Who? Who? Who? Who?)
These bastards went and lent a hand
Barnaby Pillars is an owl.
He spends every moment of his time looking through the eyes (and speaking through the mouth) of his human-shaped familiar, Mr. Andsauce (about whom little is known as a result). Barnaby finds it unfortunate and aggravating that people so often confuse their identities. Mercifully, his attention span appears too short for bearing grudges.
For his part, Mr. Andsauce (if indeed that is his real name) has never expressed his own opinion on the matter (if he has one... or even if he has any opinions at all on anything).
The Bard (After a Fashion)
Barnaby insists he is a bard and has self-published numerous volumes of poetry throughout his impossibly long lifespan in an attempt to prove it. These have been largely ignored by scholars and enthusiasts alike (though he does boast a small but dedicated following).
No bardic college has ever claimed Barnaby as a student (and he may indeed be older than any currently operating). Regardless, most seem to prefer not to associate with him whatsoever. While his poetic volumes can indeed be rented from certain libraries, they are almost never found in their proper section. Most suspect Barnaby of surreptitiously placing them there himself.
Barnaby further claims that he was rejected as an owlet by every Bardic college to which he applied because of his race. When pressed for the names of these offending schools, he talks at length of imaginary locations. The detail with which he is able to describe them, however, is said to be remarkable. In fact, few who have heard these stories begrudge him the title of bard in the end.
When it comes to his poetry, on the other hand, this is not always the case. Although his prose is occasionally well regarded, many feel that the relentless reminders of his owlness are inappropriate and distracting when juxtaposed with his choice of subject matter, as with his take on The Scourge of Acaesura (quoted herein).
The Pillars of Creation
Barnaby is likely most famous for operating a tiny bazaar which he calls the Pillars of Creation. It is as notorious among adventurers as it is impossible to understand.
The market seems to move incredible distances over unpredictable intervals. In fact, there is no shortage of reports from multiple people seeing it in different places at the same time. All concur that the market only appears in the wilderness and far from civilization but none agree on its operating hours.
The incomprehensibility of his shop is further compounded when one considers its wares and the prices that the owl is said to charge for them. Barnaby is somehow consistently able to uncover powerful magical items--some of them even legendary--which he trades in exchange for stories. More specifically, stories he doesn't yet know--and stories that adventureres are usually all too pleased to gather for him.
All they have to do is come back alive.
Comments