Spicenut

"Hey, what're you making there?"   She giggled, noticing the cat seemingly had the same question.   Wait, that wasn't the usual cat. Not that Flora was really used to Robyn, but she could tell cats apart, just barely, and that was Robyn's younger sister, Branwyn.   "We have a guest too, it seems?"   "Five guests, Robyn Frobanasynnia Kagomei, Feyd Bronwyn, Feyd Corvo, Feyd Corbo and Feyd Raven."   "Do they all get along?"   "They're siblings, they get along better than most family of five I know..."   "Siblings?"   "Robyn here is the eldest, and so auntie had her since she was a child, when her siblings were born, they were given to people she wanted to cultivate, as is tradition, but the cats, well, these four, born a year apart, all picked the same person, as their human, Lini. Attempts to give them away were not successful, and they've made a reputation for themselves, for spice."   "Spice?"   "When a cat becomes violent, it's often called spice. Probably because spicenut acts like a drug on them, making them aggressive too."   "And they love the smell, I bet?"   "Yeah, why?"   "Because I was wondering what got them so interested in your cooking. You're making spicenut noodles?"   "Oh, that, yeah. I'm not so bad at some recipies."   "You're positively a wizard with noodles, don't sell yourself short. And always taking such good care of me, making sure I'm eating..."   "Not just you... Precious Bihar can appreciate my cooking now..."   "Oh, yes, that's right. Now that she's three..."   "Except she can't have spicenut, esteemed medical colleague, it's full of growth hormone antagonists in there."   "Oh, must be why..."   "Must be why what?"   "I'm so short..."   "You're not short! You're, taller than me!" Which was true, but Flora herself was never that tall, Amarat just seemed to shrink.   "What do you mean though? As long as you're five or six, your body learns to ignore that..."   "Oh."   "I have an unrelated, silly question. Why do you name our guests Feyd? Did cats earn the right to property while I wasn't looking?"   "That's actually not a silly question, and in a sense. Each of our guests, save for Nameita Robyn, is a Feyd, on par with myself, or was, until I became Bameimeito."   "So I should curtsy?"   "You are Aumhava here, I wouldn't expect them to curtsy though. It's been tried."   "What, just who can I expect a curtsy from?"   "Anyone not Aumhava senior to you, as Aumhava of a Domei, that's a surprisingly large sample of the population."   "Wait, hmm let me put a hypothetical up, Meihomei's boytoy, Petmei Imravar Venatori, he would have to curtsy?"   "He would, his late father was a Domei, and wouldn't have had to."   "There's only like 17 Domeis in Kagomei!"   "And twice that many Aumhavar of equal rank, if not more. You're 'not receiving a salute' from just under a hundred people."   "Wow." She sat down with a plop, and Corbo decided she deserved a headbutt. "Hey, I know you too..."   "They normally only headbutt me. Linni's jealous, they won't headbutt him."   "Well, seems I'm not just Aumhavar, I'm also headbutt-worthy. You still making that spicenut pasta?"   "Yeah, you mind?"   "No, I'm famished. The smell, it drives up my... appetites..."   "Plural."   "And you mind, herevallin mine?"   "No, I don't mind, well, except we have to wait for a precious someone's bedtime..."   "Hummph, yes, we must wait." Corvo was giving a headbutt to Corbo next, then decided to include Flora in their fun.   "Ow, they're rowdy."   "Behave, Corvo."   The named cat just bent head, touching his chin to his front paws, as if acknowledging he shouldn't play so rough.   "They sound so smart."   "That's what got them the gig. Mom was crushed when she lost a second set of parents in not that long a time. Auntie losing her parents was not that much better, Imravar's dad did one of his few patriotic acts, and suggested they adopt a cat, each."   "And they didn't?"   "Robyn and her sisters ended up fostered, but only Robyn remained, and Mom never adopted any kitty."   "Why not?"   "Turns out becoming pregnant was making her forget things..."   "Oh, she was pregnant with you then?"   "Yeah."   "And she lost her Mom and Dad, but really felt the loss of Dad the most. I think it shows in my education."   "Have I ever told you how weird I had it, growing up?"   "When you said you had two dads, I was so jealous..."   "It wasn't a plus of mine, growing up... My mom didn't know who my dad was until I asked Tcha-chai, when I was sixteen..."   "Well, my dad's alive... But my mom and my aunt can't acknowledge him apparently."   "What, your aunt?"   "Shen wasn't just my cousin, he was my half-brother too..."   "Oh, frick-frick-frick, I'm so sorry."   "Why'd you disappear for a week though?"   "Mom decided to stop being so secretive, and introduced me to more men in her life..."   "What, but you have dads #1 and #2?"   "And step-dad #3 and #4 were introduced, and there was some merriment..."   "Some?   "I wasn't all that plussed, really. It probably didn't help that they hadn't met Mom until I was sixteen, either. But I got to spend a weekend with both, met their other wives, was strange..."   "Other wives?"   "Mom's officially in a polycule. Three women, four men."   "I doubt they mention it to themselves like that..."   "No, if anything, according to step-dad #3, they're all mom's lovers first and foremost. And that's how they met, mom dated both #3 and #4, but it didn't immediately click, it started to work when they dated some Miptuns of hers."   "How many kids do they have together?"   "Nine. I'm the eldest, for some reason."   "I'm the second eldest of fourty-six kids."   "What?"   "Sriracha is just barely older. That's the eldest child of dad's second wife. The next oldest child is ten years younger than I am, and so are all the next older, although, Shen's already passed."   "Wait, so your siblings are all younger, but by a decade?"   "Decade-plus. The youngest actual siblings are six years old. The youngest half-siblings are expected next Terciem. And my youngest uncle."   "What, an uncle?"   "Grand-dad got his second wife pregnant."   "How old is he?"   "Fifty-seven. She's fourty-two."   "Oh. And your mom is?"   "Thirty-nine."   "Oi, my head hurts."   "Not just you, darling, not just you."   "And this gal is fifteen?"   "Yeah, and her siblings are thirteen, thirteen, eleven, eleven."   "And they own land in Kagomei?"   "Linni owns land in their name, as Feyds, they are Feyd Lavali, Feyd Roomillian, Feyd Lileath City and Feyd Zoohey."   "Those are Domeidom Capitals!"   "Yes, they're Feyds of Capital Cities, deliberately. The cats would let Linni take over if any of the Domeis did anything stupid."   "Linni? As in, No-Spleen, no-backbone Linni?"   "More like 'in bed with the Kagomeis-Linni.'"   "Oh, it's political?"   "Very. And Linni talks a sleepy game, but he is a canny operator, when the chips are down."   "How come?"   "He listens when mom speaks, she is after all, his Commare, his Element-mother."   "Oh, so she adopted him?"   "No, it's a Beneventi tradition, she promised to take care of him if anything happened to his parents, which... something did."   "I don't remember you mentioning it before."   "Not-Dad had one sister, Linni and Luci's mother. They were very close."   "Not-Dad?"   "We'll be here all day if I call him Dad, he's Amarat Senior, married my mom, but I don't carry his genes?"   "Ok, and?"   "His sister, Sally Veneer, is Lini and Luci's mom. She is very high in the line of succession of Sarn, she wasn't when her brother wooed mom, but now she is. So much, Luci is Electoral Princess or Prince of Saer-Natthingham, what's that?"   "Basically, Bameimeito of Sarn."   "No way."   "Well, almost. Sarn doesn't technically have a bameimeito, but they have an Electoral Council, let by the Prince of Saer-Nattingham."   "And you're not the prince, because?"   "They don't let their princes be princes in foreign lands first... Mom declined my title so I could be Bameimeito..."   "Wait, that was a thing?"   "When I was born, I was born with the family name of Kagomei..."   "So, first in line for the throne..."   "Exactly."   "Was that why you didn't get any positive father figures? Because the kingmakers hated your dad and such?"   "Can't have helped..."   "Poor baby."   "I've got better."   "Have you?"   "What, wait?"   "Your parents, choosing royalty of which realm you could be, before you could even read... Just don't think it made you feel agency..."   "Ok, no, it didn't, but I do think they did make the choices I would have made, anyways, so I don't resent them those choices."   "So, auntie and grandma Prithyanka?"   "And granddads Meltran and Beltran."   "I keep forgetting just how high your genes are."   "How do you forget that Schoonvance was Beltran's love? He fell apart without her."   "Wait, Imravar's grandmother was your grandmother too?"   "Step-grandmother, they had weird ideas about parentage."   "How close is she to you?"   "Step-grandmother, my mother is not hers, so it gets iffy."   "No, I am Schoonvance's, so not so iffy, son."   "Oh."   "Yes, I am a Venatori adopted by a Dandelion, the dynastic battles were real, son."   "Who won?"   "Nobody. My victory was ruled a special case, a precedent established by your cousin Luci."   "Who did you win over?"   "No one, that's what the precedent established. That no one had to lose, even if I won. That it wasn't a zero sum game."   "You make it sound like a zero-sum game might have been preferable."   "Some days I do. You never met Sally, but she could play a zero-sum game better than anyone. That it was ruled we had to make it work without those crutches, it felt like she was less special."   "And how high would she have risen, without Luci?"   "Oh, not any higher. It was a zero-sum game in Sarn, I won't argue that. It's that she could have risen higher, without giving up her Sarn holdings, she was just that good..."   "So, would Luci or Lini have risen higher, with her help?"   "She liked Linni best, she'd have propped him up, for what it's worth. Not that it would have stopped Luci."   "And how high would Luci have risen?"   "Who knows, without major political support, she's the strongest diplomatic power in Kagomei outside of the Nameihomei. Outside of the #2 in the country, she's the strongest foreign diplomacy actor... You gonna bet against her?"   "Point taken. And then there's Linni..."   "What do you mean?"   "You've been talking HER up... He's the quiet, behind the scenes type. But he's hardly incapable at poltics. Nor is he incompetent. Meihomei just made him her #2 when Nameihomei was negotiating the Treaty of Lai Dang."   "Everyone else was at Lai Dang."   "That's not true, for one, you were IN Lai Dang, but she could have just recalled you. Insted, she just picked him."   "After asking me. I always had a high opinion of Lini."   "Oh, she talked to you?"   "And to mom. We wouldn't have left the homeland as barren as some news pundits thought it was..."   "So he is?"   "He didn't get to raise the next generation of Kagomine Cats by accident. Being picked to raise Corbo, Corvo, Raven and Bronwyn was if anything, a test."   "A test of what?"   "Fortitude, endurance, diplomacy, if of an unusual type, and resilience. He didn't just pass, so much as make a big red line somewhere saying... You must pass by this much to be trusted by Meihomei."   "How much does Meihomei trust him?"   "She doesn't... She trusts ShibuĂ© Dandelion, who decided she was going to have his babies... Are you picking fights against him? Because I'm picking him to win..."   "Oh, ok, I'll grant you that's high praise. And he's ok with this?"   "It's a bit late, he's made her pregnant, though, his cats seem ok with the whole thing..."   "What, Corbo, Corvo, Raven and Bronwyn are all..."   "They've headbutted her too. I suspect being a woman helps you in the trust department, but don't quote me on that."   "How close are they?"   "They... are a family, that much I know. Lini never has to wonder where he is in regards to them, they consider him 'dad'."   "And ShibuĂ©?"   "She's getting into mom territory, I think. Lini wouldn't have said anything unless he was getting serious..."   "How serious?"   "Come on, how serious does a guy have to get? He's proposed and she's pregnant..."   "Oh, yeah, that does simplify some things..."   "He's said she's his legal heir for inheritance, legal, fiduciary and fiefdom purposes..."   "Does he have lots of fiefs?"   "He's Luci's first in line until she has kids herself..."   "So he's FIRST IN LINE, for a founding nation of the Eurani Pact?"   "Not bad, for a guy who was such a screwup, they wouldn't let him inherit from his dad?"   "And you?"   "What do you mean?"   "Do you consider a vote on his eligibility, a vote on your own ability to inherit?"   "Hmm, ok that's more complex than I'd really like this to be today."
Type
Biomaterial


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