Salesperson

Salespeople in the Clarkwoods Literary Universe are almost universally reviled. Those who sell for a living—whatever it is they’re selling—appear most often as antagonists (if not outright villains). And even if they aren’t out-and-out “bad” people, their feelings about their job are usually tinged with regret, disgust, or exhaustion over an occupation they feel they were forced or obligated to take on.

For example, Robert Silver’s pursuit of the almighty dollar—at the expense of all else—played a huge part in the inciting incident of The Piano of Death. And while Carl Jacobson’s retail-working mother Cristina is portrayed in a far more positive light in the short story “Carl,” her smoking habit and workaholic ways seem ultimately connected to her unfulfilling profession.

She’s going to sell herself to death, that is.

But hey: maybe that’s just the fate of the salesperson in the CLU.

Career

Qualifications

A willingness to be pushy and manipulative, plus the ability to delude oneself into believing that one’s pushiness and manipulation are ultimately in the best interests of the indecisive or reticent customer.

Career Progression

Selling more than the next guy is the name of the game. Routinely do better than everyone else and they make you a manager, so that you can impart your wisdom upon all the folks beneath you. But of course that never works out, because you never trained to be a teacher. So eventually you go back to the sales floor, where you’re most comfortable anyway, and you repeat the vicious cycle.

Payment & Reimbursement

Many salespeople are paid a base salary, plus a percentage of the sales they make. But even those who aren’t paid on commission are often incentivized in some way to sell harder and sell more, whether that’s through increased authority in the workplace or simply by keeping the job during seasons of downsizing while others of lesser skill are let go.

Other Benefits

Entirely monetary, but the price you pay for your wealth is your soul.

Alternative Names

peddler, pusher, hawker, vendor, scum of the earth, professional liar, slick bastard, sleazeball, scum-bucket, snake-oil salesman

Type

Retail

Demand

High

Famous in the Field

• Robert Silver