Those Little Bastards

16 tenants. An apartment building that’s in Los Angeles one chapter and Boston the next. A little old landlady who’s just trying to save the world…

Emily Henderson went to church every Sunday. She married the love of her life, had herself a couple of kids, and ran a boarding house for wayward souls in her retirement. But when scientists discovered how to clone her beloved Lord and Savior from DNA found on his death shroud, Emily chafed under the rule of her world’s blasphemous Jesus 2.0.

After a tenant of hers sacrifices himself to save their city, Emily travels back in time to see if she can stop the speeding train of history before it goes off the rails once again. Along the way, she meets a depraved and lonely man who hacks his way to a date in the days before Tinder; a piano instructor has a tawdry affair with a young pop star he's tutoring; and a husband sent to the doghouse roped into a murder plot by two vagrants living in a nearby open field.

Can Emily save these flawed people from the fate she knows is coming for them all? And if she can, should she?

Those Little Bastards is the obnoxious 2002 debut of author E. Christopher Clark—an “uncensored and unabridged” collection of short stories “peppered with tang and spice” (Psychofairy). If you like stories of vamps and vampires, femme fatales and dirty old men, then you’ll love the short fictions of this fearless and defiant young writer.

Read Those Little Bastards to start your extended stay with this filthy cast of housemates today!

Or Read These Stories for Free Right Now

A Note on the Text

The stories in this book were first written between 1995 and 2002, when I was between the ages of 18 and 25. That version of me had a much narrower worldview and far less sensitivity to the way my words might trigger the traumatized. My tendency to challenge readers with difficult material had yet to be tempered by the core desire I have now, in late 2023, to do no harm.

I have considered pulling this book from publication altogether, but the Internet never truly lets something disappear. And so, I’ve done what I can to lessen any hurt the book might inadvertently cause by adding this brief preface and the following mea culpas:

• “Ezekiel and the Harvesters” contains many stereotypes of the Amish. I regret I did not do more research here.
• “Hacker” depicts an incident of catfishing which leads to rape by deception. The intent of the story, when written in the mid-90s, was to depict the potential horrors of online dating. I could have written it far more sensitively and without the same level of sexual violence.
• “Out of the Groove” contains another depiction of rape by deception. Here, our protagonist pretends to be her well-known twin sister so that she can hook up with a guy she’s into. Everyone seems to enjoy themselves and the truth comes out in a far less violent way than in “Hacker,” but it’s still technically rape by deception. I would not use this plot element today.
• “The Perfect Pitch” includes a sexual relationship between a teacher and student. Both are adults, but the student is significantly younger than the teacher. If I explored such a plot element today, I would do so far more carefully.

Thank you for taking the time to read this preface. I hope, despite these issues, you can get something out of the book—even if it’s just a list of things not to do in your own writing.

E. Christopher Clark
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
December 14, 2023