Riss' Drunken Ramblings

Written by Etoilebane

Riss spent the better part of a day at a bar deciphering his own drunken ramblings (recorded by his Comm. The more drinks he had, the more it made sense.

One day I woke up with a killer hangover, a knot on my forehead the size of a Sazakraht's paw, a bar bill the likes of which will probably put the bartender's kids through trade-school and a full recorder containing, as I put it "important language notes and insults". Let's see what we got.

— Riss Modi, Captain of The Jupiter Message

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Splortch-Noggling Rimstock

Means exactly what you think it means, but with a lightbulb. I reccomend bringing a tarp with ya.

Screeznik

I forgot what this one means, but I bet it has somethin' to do with your ability to handle a computer. I probably shouldn't have recorded my list of these while I was thirteen of twenty into the binge. My bad.

Loooooooooooomburg

Yes, 12 o's are apparently required, according to drunk Riss. It's just a way of calling someone a dumbass.

Gorgalaphus

There wasn't a definition on the tape, just notes that it's a fun and rude thing to call someone's mother. Thanks drunk-Riss. A+ work.

Chrugalug

I'm pretty sure this is just drunk-Riss asking someone to consume alcohol with him, as it's shortly followed by several minutes of loud drinking before the next word.

Blow-torching the nines

drunk-Riss laughed uproariously after this one before a loud thunk sound was heard on the recorder. As I was sporting a sizeable knot on my head the next day, I'm going to assume drunk-Riss passed out here.

This next one is just me laughing into the recorder for a solid minute and then describing it as when you meet a man who looks like a man, that looks like his mom. I guess it makes more sense in context.

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After listening to the tape a couple of times, outside of getting a good laugh from it, I'm pretty sure there's nothing of value here. Might keep Gorgalaphus though. It actually is pretty fun to say.

— Riss Modi, Captain of The Jupiter Message.

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