Witness
We are all witness
W
itness, as a formal moniker, refers to the senior members of the Pontificous Rite of Baldergash Sparcsylver. Within the faith, it can have several meanings, based on its context.
The term was first used by Baldergash Sparcsylver himself in the Testament of Baldergash, written by Kadir Ammanar in the 20th century AoE.
The term was first used by Baldergash Sparcsylver himself in the Testament of Baldergash, written by Kadir Ammanar in the 20th century AoE.
The First Witnesses
T
he Testament of Baldergash lends considerable copy to a group of individuals who are purported to have seen Baldergash Sparcsylver in the flesh, to have conversed with him directly, and to have witnessed many of his miraculous acts firsthand. They were Baldergash's most trusted, and most beloved disciples. And as such, they are each rewarded with their own chapters in the Testament where they give their personal accounts of Baldergash's works and his splendor.
When the sheeple are referring to Witnesses, or to their religion in general, in a historical context, they are usually speaking of these first Witnesses. The ones who are afforded their own gospels in the Testament.
To the extent that anyone accepts the Testament as reflecting empirical truth, these first Witnesses are also considered to be the last human beings to have experienced Baldergash's presence while he is in his physical form. Obviously, plenty of sheeple claim they've "spoken" with Baldergash in prayer, or he's come to them in a dream or a vision. But no one (with acknowledged sanity) has credibly claimed to have seen Baldergash, in the flesh, in well over two thousand years.
Church Elders
I
n more practical, everyday parlance, the term Witness more often refers to the elders and leaders who have respect and authority within the congregation. Although these individuals are not presumed to be genetically related to the original Witnesses, the tenets of faith dictate that all current Witnesses are the spiritual successors of those who wrote in the Testament.
In the performance of official church duties, Witnesses usually don blindfolds, hoods, or expansive cloaks that can shield their faces and, most importantly, cover their eyes. This is in deference to the teaching that humanity is not to rely on their own sight or their own intellect. Rather, they are to have faith in Baldergash, that he shall provide for them and care for their every need.
The Congregation En Masse
W
hen referring to a large, generic group of church members, the term sheeple is most commonly used. That's because sheeple does not merely cover elders or those of religious authority - it covers everyone who worships Baldergash.
But amongst themselves, it's not uncommon to hear a worshiper refer to the idea that they are all Witnesses. This statement does not indicate that they all possess experience and authority in the church. Instead, it refers to the concept that all sheeple - regardless of age, gender, experience, etc. - are called upon to embrace the spirit of the first Witnesses. They are all striving to meet the example set by those spiritual luminaries who were so pure in spirit that Baldergash granted them the greatest gift that any human can ever hope to receive- his presence.
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