Mob Montague
Tony's Dialogue (Introduction / Tutorial) - Anthony "Troopsushi" Botsford
Conversation Start
"Ah, there he is. Buongiorno little bird, happy to get you ready for your big day. Just take a seat and relax." "Oh, and can I get a sip of whatever you've got there?"- "Yes, it's holy water."
- "No, it's holy water."
Tony drinks
"Yes, it's holy water." Tony grabs the jar and takes a swig out of it. "Ah... Talk about refreshing." "Got a feeling we're going to get along just fine."- Continue with the haircut.
Tony drinks anyways
"No, it's holy water." Tony forcibly grabs the jar and takes a swig out of it anyways. "Ahhh... I needed that. Holy water you said? Awfully bitter." "Got a feeling that I'm going to enjoy this haircut." -> TonyExpositionTony's Explanation
"Now then. Let me lay it down for you while I get set up." "I don't want to you think your work ain't up to the mark, You're a preacher, but this isn't just any lovey-dovey, hogwash wedding." "Lives are on the line." "Your bride and groom aren't dead-beat loafers off to spend the rest of their short lives being your average, sedentary husband and wife." "The bride is the soon-to-be-heir of one of the most elaborate, well-esteemed street gangs in history: The Hoboglobins." "The son is a boss in the Grandmother mob. They're unstable, conniving... like a bomb ready to explode. They've certainly got style too. Their linen pockets are practically bursting with petty cash." "Be careful who you get chummy with now: tensions are running high, and if you befriend the wrong people you might piss off some other ones... And the enemies you could make here are powerful." "The fate of our sweet Romeo and his beloved Juliet could do wonders for my services here at the shop, little bird... And for your shtick too, granted everything goes according to plan." "Of course, if you have any intention of ruining this for me and our endearing young couple, you'll become quite aquainted with the feeling of having less skin on your wilting, elderly face." "We wouldn't want that, now would we?" "Now then, Let's cut to the chase." "Bangs or an Undercut? Which hairstyle were you thinking?"- Bangs
- Undercut
Shaved bald
"I'd like a uhm.." Tony ominoulsy grabs a razor, clutching it to the point that it's cheap metal mechanisms squeal within his grip. Despite your request, Tony shaves you entirely bald. "How's that? Figure I'd..." Tony pauses momentarily, looking in the mirror in front of you before slashing the temporal area on your head. Tony grunts violently, chuckling to himself. "...Show my respect for your generosity from earlier."- Glance at Tony
Tony's final warning
The gash in your head stings immensely, as you feel your blood run down your eye socket. "A real pity. Those were some nice locks... Don't worry though, that cut won't kill you." "I'm no barber, but red really suits you." "Now, fly away little bird." "You should be preaching somewhere else."- Go to the chapel.
Maid of Honor's Dialogue - Pierre B. Dussausse
First Talk
If you've never talked to the maid of honor“Ah! Preach, there you are. I thought you wouldn’t show! *She slaps you on the back*. Now that would be a problem, right, a wedding without a preacher?!“
-> Maid of Honor conversation If you have talked to the maid of honor once -> Maid of Honor - Already talkedMaid of Honor - Already Talked
If the maid of honor trusts you"Thanks again for your help preach, but I've got shit to do. I'll definitely talk to you later though!"
If the maid of honor does not trust you"Look old man I don't have time for this shit, just do your job, and don't talk to me again, ok ?"
Maid of Honor conversation
- "I… I would never miss the occasion to celebrate such a wonderful union of two people so clearly meant for each other!"
- “(Try to make a joke) W… Well an absent preacher would certainly be a clear sign from our Lord.”
Meant for each other
"I… I would never miss the occasion to celebrate such a wonderful union of two people so clearly meant for each other!" “Right. Well, I sure hope they are because organizing this shitshow has been a nightmare. Did you know we almost didn’t get food? Like at all? The grocer forgot our order! Almost offed the fucker."- "Oh! How dreadful, but food is here now, and seems delicious. You seemed to have managed to save the day!"
- "Oh, I'm sure no one deserves such a fate. Everyone is subject to forgetfulness, and forgiveness is the one true path to our Lord."-
Sign from our Lord
“W… Well an absent preacher would certainly be a clear sign from our Lord.” Her expression changes to one far more itense "What do you mean a sign?"- Ah.. No I must apologize, I was merely joking, I'm sure the bride and the groom will be very happy together!
- Well, it was a joke, but if the Lord prevented the preacher from being here, it would certainly be a sign that the wedding shouldn't happen.
Save the day
"Oh! How dreadful, but food is here now, and seems delicious. You seemed to have managed to save the day!" She sighs, and seems to focus back on the present. "Yeah. Well, it's been a bitch. let me tell you. Anyway, you needed anything or can I go back to making sure the church doesn't burn down before the ceremony?"- "I'm sorry, burn down ?"
- "(Ignore the 'burning down' comment) No it's quite alright, I will see you at the altar!"
Path to our Lord
"Oh, I'm sure no one deserves such a fate. Everyone is subject to forgetfulness, and forgiveness is the one true path to our Lord." She smiles an evil, far-off kind of smile. "Forgiveness, huh? Look Preach, I know you're just doing your job but I don't think anyone here cares much about getting forgiven. I know I mostly care about being done with today as quick as possible."- Come now... The bride must be very happy, you're doing a terrific job! Bask in her happiness, I'm sure it'll be contagious.
- I believe I can relate. Running a church is not always like floating down a calm stream.
Wedding shouldn't happen
"Ah. Yes. Well you're here anyway, so I guess we're safe from that huh?", she answers.- I do believe that celebrating this wedding is the one thing I would defy the Lord for!
- My child, if I didn't know better I'd say it sounds like you're bitter about it!
Burn down?
"I'm sorry, burn down?" She laughs bitterly. "Ha! Nah, I'm fucking with ya preach. Man I'm really giving you a hard time, huh? Sorry I'm just stressed."- "My child, are you quite alright? Do you need a friendly ear right now? I have some time to talk before the ceremony".
- "Oh I'm sure you are. No grudges held, I assure you! Well, I'll leave you to your work, then!"
Happiness Basking
Come now... The bride must be very happy, you're doing a terrific job! Bask in her happiness, I'm sure it'll be contagious. She seems to get irritated. "Basking, huh ? Right, I'll make sure I "bask" in my childhood friend getting married off to some snobby bastard from the grandmas."- "If you're afraid for your friend's well being, I assure you the wedding is one of love and not of convenience!"
- "My child, are you quite alright? Do you need a friendly ear right now? I have some time to talk before the ceremony."
Floating down a calm stream
I believe I can relate. Running a church is not always like floating down a calm stream. She laughs. Surprisingly genuinely. "Yeah, I guess so, huh? Well, at least it's your job. Let me tell you after today I'm done with this." There is a glint of sadness in her eyes.- "My child, are you quite alright? Do you need a friendly ear right now? I have some time to talk before the ceremony."
- "Well I'm sure you'll manage! Good luck."
Defy the Lord
"How noble of you. Well, have you got everything you need then? Speech ? Rings? Cocaine ?"- "(Cocaine? What kind of weddings has she been going to?)"
- "(At this point I probably could use recreational drugs, yeah)"
Bitter about it
She pulls out a knife, and puts it at your throat. You look around in a panick. Everyone does a remarkable job at not noticing. "What the fuck do you know, snitch? You think you know me? I'll fucking cut you!"- "Oh my Lord, please I meant no offense, I have to officiate the wedding please let me live!"
- "Oh God, my child, I merely meant that you looked sad, I wished only to help!"
Love not convenience
"If you're afraid for your friend's well being, I assure you the wedding is one of love and not of convenience!" "Right, I'm gonna get a love talk from some old dude who hasn't gotten laid in 50 years. The hell do you know about who she loves ? Maybe I'd listen if you didn't wank off to some 10000 years old virgin."- "(Is she... talking about the virgin mary?)"
- "(This one has no notion of history at all.)"
Wished only to help
"What do you mean help? What could you do to help me? You have no idea what my problem even is!"- "My child, helping people in pain is my calling!"
- "My child, think of the bride! Don't ruin her wedding, please!"
Pain and calling
She calms down, removes the knife, but squints her eyes at you. "What the fuck do you care if I'm in pain, preach? You just want to save your skin, don't you?"- "W...What? No I'd never, I truly care about all of you, and all the weddings I officiate", you lie.
- "W...Well It doesn't matter does it? Either way, I'll still help you. Please, talk to me..."
Time to talk
"My child, are you quite alright? Do you need a friendly ear right now? I have some time to talk before the ceremony". She gives you an up and down look, apparently gauging you. There is a new gleam in her eye. Is it one of respect ? "You know what pastor ? Sure, let's talk. But if you talk to anyone about this I'll fucking kill you!"- You sigh. "Yes, yes I am starting to grasp that concept. Please, my child, what weighs on your mind?"
- You shiver. "Oh... Please, I didn't mean to pry, you don't have to reveal anything if you don't feel comfortable doing it"!
Advice Start
Her eyes dart around to make sure no one is wathcing, or looking, then she lowers her voice as she draws closer ot you: "It's stupid, pastor. I'm in love. I'm in love with someone here, and I don't know what to do about it."- "Oh, my child. Love is a beautiful thing, you shouldn't feel ashamed of that! I find communication and transparence are always best in this type of scenario."
- "My child. Love is a beautiful thing, but today we are at a celebration of love, though it is not yours. I think it would be wise to let the bride have her day. Surely you love will endure one more day, yes?
Advice #1
"Communication ? What, is that some fancy word to say I should tell them? That's dumb!"#speaker: Bridesmaid #portrait: maidPortrait She crosser her arms, and turns away from you... ...But her eyes turn back to you. "What would I even say?" Correct answer- "Well, I'd say honesty in always best. You could tell him what's in your heart. How you feel and how you've felt about him since you've known him."
- +Don't think too much. These things require genuineness. Simply tell him how you feel in the moment, when you look at them, right then and there"#speaker: Pastor #portrait: PastorDefault #layout: left
Advice #2
"Pastor I can't just do that! I'd look stupid, I'd lose all my cred with the boys!" Wrong answer- "I'm sure they fear you too much to ever dream of making fun of you. You don't have to stop being yourself to confess. In fact, the more you stay faithful to yourself, the more attractive you'll appear!"
- "Think how happy you'd be if they said yes! It's a vulnerable moment yes, but I think you'd feel more free, once relieved of that weight"#speaker: Pastor #portrait: PastorDefault #layout: left
Advice #3
In that moment, she almost doesn't look like the terrifying murder-machine that she is. She's almost childlike in her answer. "But... But what if they say no?" Correct answer- "That's a risk everyone in that kind of situation has to face. It might hurt, a lot, yes. But ask yourself: do you really have a choice?"
- "That is not something you can control. All you can do is say what you have to say, and then the responsibility of the answer lies in his hands. You have done your part"
Drunkle intervention #1
You feel another big slap on your back. It's starting to get sore. Next to you a red face appears, and you can smell it as well as see it: it reeks of alcohol. "Eeeeeeey! How you doin Ismelda. Look at you all grown up, I've known you since you were yay high. You were so cute back then!" "Shut the fuck up you old drunk, we met when I was 17. You know what? Fuck both of you, I've had enough of this shit". She storms off. After a small silence, he puts a big, greasy hand on your shoulder. "Wow, you must have said something, to piss her off." He leaves. You sigh. Looks like that's the end of the conversation. DIALOGUE ENDSDrunkle intervention #2
You feel another big slap on your back. It's starting to get sore. Next to you a red face appears, and you can smell it as well as see it: it reeks of alcohol. "Eeeeeeey! How you doin' Ismelda. Look at you all grown up, I've known you since you were yay high. You were so cute back then!" "We met 2 years ago you old coot... Well, not that I'm not interested in talking to you two, but I've got a wedding band to kick the ass of..." She walks away. After a small silence, the big guy puts a big, greasy hand on your shoulder. "Well, guess it's just us two now then!" He laughs. You leave. DIALOGUE ENDSMaid of Honor Trust
This time, there's no mistaking it: she respects you, she's listened to you, and will take what you've said to heart. She takes a big breath in, and out. "Thanks, preach. You're okay. I've got to take care of a bunch of other morons but you're not one of them. Take care." "You're most welcome, my child", you say with a smile. There's hope for her yet! The maid of honor trusts you! DIALOGUE ENDSMaid of Honor failure #1
Her stare immediately goes cold. She crosses her arms and gets away from you. "You know what preach? Forget I said anything, and kindly fuck off". You can well see that no amount of talking will get you back in her good favors. You get away, before you pay the price for poking the bear. DIALOGUE ENDSMaid of Honor failure #2
She leans in very close to you, and presses the knife a bit closer to your throat. "You're pathetic." She throws you away, and storms off. You should feel ashamed of yourself, but right now you're happy to be alive. DIALOGUE ENDSMaid of Honor failure #3
She calms down, looking extremely dejected. "Right. The bride. Well, if you'll excuse me I need to go make sure she doesn't trip in her dress. See you around, preach." DIALOGUE ENDSMaid of Honor failure #4
She sneers. #speaker: Narrator #portrait: narratorPortrait #layout: right "Right. Sure you do. Well, if you'll excuse me I've got to make sure no one spits in the food we've got." #speaker: Bridesmaid #portrait: maidPortrait DIALOGUE ENDSRingbearer's Dialogue - Kevin Hang
Location 1
First conversation
If you've talked to the Ringbearer once & she trusts you"You're not as bad as I thought. But, you're still pretty bad.."
-> Respectful conversation If you've never talked to the RingbearerYou approach the wedding's personally chosen ringbearer. A teenage girl no older than fifteen wearing a bear-themed jumpsuit alongside a hat with lively ears. She ignorantly picks her nose, acting like every other kid that you've had be a ringbearer in the entirety of your career. "Whaddya want?" She says with immediate aggression. Though, unlike every other person here, you feel like you can approach her without being in constant fear of your life.
-> First impressions If you've talked to the Ringbearer once"As much as I'd like to talk to you, I'd rather not, you geezer.."
-> Ringbearer: Second conversation If you've talked to the Ringbearer twice"Fuck off. Remember the plan, just keep calm and don't get too close to me. I don't want anybody getting suspicious."
DIALOGUE ENDSRespectful conversation
"You mind stepping back? You're in my personal space. I'm sure we'll talk soon." DIALOGUE ENDSSecond conversation
"..So, go away." DIALOGUE ENDSFirst impressions
- "Dear child, did you know you're the most important person of this entire event?"
- "Awh, what a beautiful bouquet of flowers! The basket suits you, young lady."
This entire event
"Important? Pfft. I didn't ask to do this. I got voted by my family like some piece of meat.." Her eyebrows lift in skepticism towards you, slightly wary of your presence. "This is actually an important day for my family, so I'm only going to tell you once. Anything you do to them. I'll do to you." Her tone is brash. This girl is serious about making your entire life a living nightmare if you do anything that could remotely ruin this wedding. "..Should you be talking to me anyways? Isn't it like.. bad luck to talk to somebody before a wedding?"- "Uhm.. actually, the proper concept is that it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in the dress before the wedding."
- "I'd never do such a dastard t-thing. I think we got off on the wrong foot, missy! I'm actually here to make sure the wedding goes off without a HITCH."
Basket suits you
"Uhm.. ew. Aren't you priests creeps or something?" The teenager responds with angst. Her eyebrows furrow with a demeaning side-eye glance. Her left hand clenches tightly into a fist; better make your next words count. "I don't appreciate creeps.. at my family's wedding. You better not ruin this for them.."- "Alright, hold on, hold on. I'm not a creep. I'm a pastor! Do you not know that you shouldn't judge a priest by his cloth?"
- "I will not be spoken to in this manner."
Before the wedding
A stifled laughter escapes her mouth briefly. Her face flushes brightly from holding it in. She can barely hold herself back. Then, she burst out laughing. "Haha.. haha..! You're a nerd!" The teenager shouts at you loudly. Everybody's eyes are on you now, you've been publicly outed as a loser. You're not too sure if you should keep talking to the Ringbearer. She seems like a real piece of work.- "I'm sure your parents wouldn't appreciate you speaking to me like this. Aren't you ruining your family's wedding by causing this commotion?"
- Awkwardly walk away and leave her.
Without a hitch
"..Dastard? Missy?" The teenager stares at you, not even a single ounce of emotion in her face. She does not take you seriously whatsoever. "Really? ..Pf-pfft.. kfch.. pfft... HAHAHA!! THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY! HUR DUR DUR.. DASTARD.." The Ringbearer laughs hysterically, pointing at you and your glasses. Eventually, she stumbles to the floor, rolling around and kicking her feet around. Everybody stares at her, and she keeps laughing. She shows no sign of stopping any time soon.- Awkwardly walk away and leave her.
Priest by cloth
"Dunno bout' that. You seem like the weird type. And with weird comes trouble." The teenager digs into her pockets and pulls out a pair of brass knuckle. They fit firmly around her knuckles. Beads of sweat fall from your face, a conversation you hoped would be normal has derailed almost immediately.- "Woah, woah! Alright, don't hurt me!"
- Run away as fast as you can.
Resistance #1
She scoffs in your face, putting a hand on her hip. One ear on her infamous bear hat lifts up joining alongside the facial expression she holds. "Think you're tough huh? You really wanna do this?" The brass knuckles press against your chest, causing an aching pain to spread across your ribcage. You're quite unsure if you want to proceed with this route.- Resist the pain, keep the act up.
- Back off and run away. #speaker: Pastor #portrait:PastorDefault #layout: left
Resistance #2
"You're persistent, aren't yah?" As the brass knuckles push in deeper, lining up against your ribcage. The pain is intense, though growing increasingly excruciating. You feel the air being crushed out of your body, causing your heart rate to spike erratically.- Keep resisting, make that last push.
- Push her back then run away in fear.
Resistance #3
The knuckles reach the climax point, you feel as if your ribcage is about to shatter from the sheer force of her arm alone. Then, she pulls back right at the last moment. #speaker: Ringbearer #portrait: ringbearerPortrait #layout: right "Hmphf.. you're strong. Got a lot more balls than most of my family here. But still, you're a nobody." She turns around, giving you the middle finger before walking away. In that moment, it felt like you gained her respect. Still, was it even worth it to gain the respect of a 15-year-old? r The ringbearer respects you! DIALOGUE ENDSCausing this commotion
You hear her mutter, the word 'shit' under her breath. Obviously, you hit that right spot of self-realization for her. "Pssh, nuh uh. This is a special day, and I won't do anything to ruin that. And neither will you. Got it?" The small ears on her bear hat lift up in tandem with her brief step towards you. "GOT IT?"- "Of course, child. I'll do my best. After all, it's what I do." *Smirk at her*
- "I-I.. cannot make any promises."
Drunkle intervention #1_1
"Eugh." The girl pats you menacingly on the back. Her hands feel rough, as if they've been through a lot. Then, with his bottle in hand, an older, odd-looking man walks up with a large burp. His musk is inconceivably apparent, like he's taken a bath in the sewers. "HEYA!! YEESH.. YOU'VE GOTTEN BIGGER!" The uncle says to the teenager. He steps forward, grabbing her by the neck and ruffling her hair aggressively, causing the bear hat to fall off of her and onto the ground. "God damn it, get off of me you drunk idiot!" She yells. She pushes him off of him and grabs the bear hat off the floor.- Be a bystander and just watch.
- "Hey, there's more accomodations for food towards the back there!" *Point behind the uncle*
Drunkle intervention #1_2
"C-cmon now! No need to hit me with the harsh words! I changed your diaper y'know?" A pause in his words caused the both of you to stop and stare. "Now that I think about it. I think I might've dropped ya." Her face twists into one of such hatred and disbelief, she herself turns and leaves the conversation. "Remember, don't do anything stupid! I'll kill you!" She reminds you again. The drunken uncle turns to you, letting out once again, a large belch. "Did I do something?" DIALOGUE ENDSDrunkle intervention #1_3
"YOU WAS HIDING FOOD? WELL HOT DIGGITY DOG! WHY AIN'T YOU SAY NUTHIN'?" The uncle turns in a robotic fashion, nearly falling onto his own ass before recovering. He lifts one leg, letting out some gas towards your general direction. "EUGH, GROSS! RUN!" The both of you scatter. Oddly enough through this gassy encounter, the teenager gives you a brief flash of her pearly whites. Have you somehow left things off on a good note? Speculation at that point. The RIngbearer trusts you! DIALOGUE ENDSDrunkle intervention #2
"OY! ARE THOSE MY BRASS KNUCKLES?! I'VE BEEN LOOKING ROUND' FOR THEM SINCE FOREVER!" A shitfaced man yells out to the both of you. He stumbles towards you, farting with each step. He swipes the brass knuckles off the girl. Taking a peek at them, he grins and pockets them. The Ringbearer is in absolute shock with widened eyes and an agape jaw. "GIVE THOSE BACK OLD MAN! YOU FUCKER!" The girl leaps onto the uncle's back, wrapping his arm around his neck like a python. Unfortunately, due to his fat and double-chin, it has no effect. He flashes you a wink as he's pulled away. You watch in a frozen state. They toss and turn in an opposite direction far from you. Seems that's the end of that conversation. Probably shouldn't try to get on her bad side. DIALOGUE ENDSRingbearer's threat 1
Her voice booms out to you. "Oy." "Don't ever let me catch you doing some stupid shit. Got it? I'm a lot more tougher than you think. Bitch." Her words are full of disgust towards you. She is not playing around. Anything you do to jeopardize this wedding will be not be taken lightly with her. DIALOGUE ENDSRingbeare's threat 2
As you turn around and dash out of the conversation, the Ringbearer laughs and calls out to you. "YOU DO ANYTHING TO RUIN THIS WEDDING. I'LL BEAT YOU TO A PULP, YOU CREEPY PASTOR!" Better not do anything else to anger her. DIALOGUE ENDSLocation #2
First interaction
If you've talked to the Ringbearer once, and the Mother trusts youAs you get closer to the Ringbearer, you notice she doesn't seem all that excited to see you. Her eyes glare at you like daggers piercing into your soul. "Oy, asshole! What did I tell ya'?! I told you specifically.. very specifically not to mess around!" "So, tell me.. and don't you lie to me." "What in the actual FUCK are you doing?!"
- "Whatever are you talking about, my c-child?"
"Heh, just don't forget who you're working for, Pastor. You better not let me down or else.."
She mimics the motion of slitting the throat whilst staring directly into your eyes. DIALOGUE ENDS If you've talked to the Ringbearer once, and the mother doesn't trust you"Pfft fuck off. I'm observing how overjoyous people get at weddings. Why is it such a big commotion? Gosh, it's too loud."
Her eyes dart left and right, watching everybody in her vicinity. It seems like the Ringbearer is doing a lot more than just.. observing. DIALOGUE ENDS If you've never talked to the RingbearerHer eyes peer at you from the shadows, in a judgmental manner. You shouldn't disturb her.
DIALOGUE ENDSRingbearer revelation
"Don't play fuckin' coy! I've been watching you waltzing around, speaking to those nobodies and playing the messiah." "Listen, you can't and shouldn't help everybody if it doesn't benefit you with jack squat!" The connotation and accent in her voice has shifted dramatically to one of professionalism with a hint of aggression. "This entire wedding.. this shit'll get my business boomin'. And I ain't going to let anybody.. anybody ruin MY profits." "So I need you to promise that you'll make sure that this wedding is as normal as possible. Just marry them, let them kiss, blah blah blah. Just fuckin' do it!" A slight pause as the Ringbearer stares up at you, her left bear ear lifting up. "So, do you promise?!"- "Y-yes, but of course. I'll ensure that you get what you want. This wedding will be an absolute joy to see."
- "I can't promise that. Certain people here are in d-dire need of assistance. I won't turn away individuals who require my help."
Agreement
"Good boy, you help me, I help you. You need any help getting away from anybody? You've got my protection." The Ringbearer tosses you a 'tip', rather a penny from her pocket and shooes you away. The Ringbearer trusts you! DIALOGUE ENDSRefusal
"I'm an enemy you don't want to make Pastor. I'll swear down the gods of heaven to personally smite you till you're a burnt piece of toast on the ground." "Don't test me." "See you at the wedding. Just make sure you watch your back and keep those fuckin' eyes peeled." She flips you off, turning her head to no longer face you. You've pissed her off. DIALOGUE ENDSMother's Dialogue
First interaction
If either the Ringbearer or the Maid of Honor trust you "You seem to keep questionable company. I will not talk to you." DIALOGUE ENDS If you've never talked to the Mother You stop momentarily to observe an older, middle-aged woman who gazes onward at the groom with a look of disdain on her glum face.- "Excuse me, are you alright?"
- "I have!"
- "Not yet, I'll come back to you."
Start conversation
"Excuse me, are you alright?" The woman turns her gaze towards you, in a state of brief shock. "Oh!~ I-I'm Maria, the groom's mother. You must be the preacher?"- "I am indeed. It is an absolute pleasure to meet you!"
- "That I am. You seem to look as though something is awry. What seems to be the trouble?"
Pleasure to meet you
"Well then. It seems you're in rather high spirits... Good for you. Good for you."- "My child? Is something the matter? I'm sure I can find some way to help you if there is."
- "Yes! Good for me indeed! Well, I will see you at the chapel!"
See you at the chapel
"I will see you then pastor, thank you for coming to speak to me." DIALOGUE ENDSI can help you
"Well, father. Like any mother I want what's best for my son. I love my family dearly, more than anything else~but the decision of sharing blood with such an... uncivilized and utterly brash group of 'hob-goblins' is something that baffles me."- "W-well, your son certainly seems happy. Do you believe this marriage is not what's best for him?"
- "As much as I am meant to remain neutral, they are certainly making a mess of the chapel.."
Mess of the Chapel
Maria perks up slightly, her gloomy expression being replaced by one of surprise. "W-Why yes! They're positively barbaric. Ever since my son has been involved with his 'business' he just hasn't been the same... He puts on an act. They all do." "I want to do something about it."- "An 'act'? That seems fairly harmless.."
- "I have some time before the ceremony starts.. How can I assist you, my child?"
Fairly harmless
"Harmless? It's not just an act. These are ruthless gangs filled with ignorant people." "I could never live with myself if I lost my only child, father. They say it's all about 'family' and yet it's almost every week someone dies for the sake of some petty crime. That won't be happening to my son. I don't know what I would do with myself."- "Interesting... I have some time before the ceremony starts... How can I assist you, my child?"
Assist you
"Well... I've been making some legal 'arrangements' for those on our guest list. It would be splendid for the both of us, seeing that your chapel would be better off housing a more normal set of visitors. Don't worry about any repurcussions either, law enforcement is rather aware of the situation... I'll just need a few things from you."- "Absolutely, what can I do to help?"
- "Legal intervention?"
- "Huh, on another thought. Your son does seem certainly happy. Is this marriage not what's best for him?"
Help accepted
"Just walk around the venue and observe any true behavior that might make for useful evidence. Come back to me when you think you've seen enough and I'll record it."- "I'll do my best, child."
Legal Intervention
"I just know some terrible terrible things are happening behind the scenes. While those plushy officers might not seem like the sharpest tacks, enough man-power can work wonders. Apprehending so many... well... bad people would surely restore the world to a more holy place, wouldn't you agree?"- "Of course, I agree. I'll be more than glad to help. What do you require of me?"
- "Huh, on another thought. Your son does seem certainly happy. Is this marriage not what's best for him?"
Mother success
"Thank you, father. From the bottom of my heart." The Mother trusts you! DIALOGUE ENDSMother failure
"Hmmm. I suppose you're right." Maria breaks eye contact with you, analyzing the sight of her son once again. She rests her head against her hand, seemingly displeased. "I should be happy... Thank you father." DIALOGUE ENDSStart questionaire
Question #1
"Wonderful! Now then, I have a few subjects I'd like to inquire about." "Firstly, which family has dealt with drugs and narcotics?..." Correct Answer- The red-wearing Hoboglobins.
- The desaturated, blue-colored Grandmothers.
Question #2
"Hmmm... Okay." "Next question: Has anyone here committed any heinous acts?... Something like a murder or stabbing? I need as many real cases as possible. Just a few won't stick for complete legal intervention, y'know?" Incorrect answer- One of the Hoboglobins in a pair of two did! #speaker: Pastor #portrait: PastorDefault #layout: left
- A short, shifty-eyed Grandmother did! #speaker: Pastor #portrait: PastorDefault #layout: left
- One gang member from each gang has! #speaker: Pastor #portrait: PastorDefault #layout: left
Question #3
"How incriminating!~" "Now then, which family has committed the most crimes? I need to know who the biggest offender is." Correct answer- Hoboglobins!
- The Grandmothers. #speaker: Pastor #portrait: PastorDefault #layout: left
Question #4
"Fascinating..." "Was there any mention of decapitation...? Trust me, I hear it on the radio sometimes! It might be true!" Correct answer- Indeed there was! It was the doing of the Grandmothers!
- The radio must be telling the truth. The Hoboglobins are positively obsessed with beheading things.
- No there wasn't any mention of decapitation. You shouldn't believe EVERYTHING you hear on the radio, my child.
Question #5
"Very well." "How many people committed crimes in total? I need to know if the number is significant enough. I'm sure those savages couldn't help themselves even if the light of god was shining right into their greasy evil eyes..." Incorrect answer- 4
- 5
- 6
Questionaire End
"How utterly despicable!" "Well father, you've done a great thing today. This should be more than sufficient... If it's all true, of course. Either way... Bless your soul." "Thank you for taking the time to help out for a truly noble cause. I pray that my son will be kept away from the grasp of these gormless mingers. See you at the ceremony." DIALOGUE ENDCancel questionaire
"Alright then. Just don't forget about our little 'deal'. I can't do this without you."Side character's Dialogue (Flavor Dialogue) - Pierre B. Dussausse
Bride & Groom
Groom
"Look at my bride-to-be! Isn't she beautiful ? Nothing could ruin this day! It's just too perfect!"Bride
"This is without a doubt the best day of my life! Yes... Yes the best day!"Grandmothers
Giancarlo
"You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding... Just kidding, I'm not related to anyone here, I just always wanted to say that."Julio
"And then... *wheeze*, and then I put the horse's head in his bed!" He dies laughing. There will be no talking to this one.Luca
"And I honor you and cherish you, and you will always have my respect... Go away! I'm rehearsing my lines"Vito
"Man, what a neat church. We should really come back here for my son's baptism!"Michael
...I killed him, and then I should have dropped the gun right there but I held on to it! For like nine seconds! The tension was through the roof! Hey what are you looking at?" Woops, better skeddadle.Hobogoblins
Joseph
"I've literally murdered seven people this morning."Anette
"Bro see that guy over here in blue? I'm gonna sell him so many drugs. He's saying he's looking for some !"Amelie
"...I was on a heist with these three dudes, this one guy apparently decided to fake his death and go live the good life while his friend rotted in prison. Ain't no pride in that typa guy"Josephine
"Bro, I was looking at the accounts, we're fucking loaded! That's so cool!"Juliette
"What do you think of the current socieconomic context of occidental society in comparison to its asiatic counterpart?"Cops
'Aunt'
If the mother doesn not trust you"I hear you've engaged in criminal activity the other day. Would you mind describing them clearly and distinctly to me?"
If the mother trusts you"I've got a mic hidden in my flower. Clever, huh?"
'Jim'
If the mother does not trust you"Tell me, what do you think of gang violence?"
If the mother trusts you"Honestly I'm just in this job to learn about gang violence, it fascinates me greatly."
'Pier'
if the mother trusts you"There are so. Many. Criminals here!"
If the mother does not trust you"Delicious champaign, how many times have you commited arson ?"
'Cousin'
If the mother trusts you"I take improv every second friday, I've got this 'undercover' thing!"
If the mother does not trust you"Yo bro, I'm definitely a criminal, like you! Got any drugs?"
'Paul'
If the mother trusts you"There is no one there. I am a bush. You are not talking to anyone."
If the mother does not trust you"There is no one there. I am a bush. You are not talking to anyone."
Drunkle - Kevin Hang
Bilzarr the Spectacular - Anthony "Troopsushi" Botsford
The Wedding - Pierre B. Dussausse
Ending warning
WARNING: DOING THIS WILL BEGIN THE WEDDING! ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO CONTINUE? YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO RETURN TO THIS POINT.- "Yes I'm sure!"
- "On second thought.."
The Wedding Begins
The guests shuffle in the church awkwardly, all eyeing each other with mistrust. Both gangs sit very deliberately on separate sides of the isle. -> The characters take their positionsThe characters take their positions
You get up on the stage, and look at the assembly. All the way to the back of the church, Tony flashes you an evil smile. You swallow with difficulty. If the mother trusts youThe groom comes to stand besides you on the stage, and winks at his mother, who smiles back, tightly. She then looks at you, and whispers. Mother: "Thanks to you, it'll all be over soon.~ Bless your soul, my son is safe."
If the mother doesn't trust youThe groom comes to stand besides you on the stage, and winks at his mother, who smiles back, tightly.
The maid of honor follows and comes to stand behind you as well. If the maid of honor trusts youShe quickly steps towards you and grabs your arm. "Thanks, pastor." And nods knowingly. You're not sure what it is you're supposed to be knowing.
If the maid of honor does not trust youShe scowls at you, and redirects her eyes at the crowd.
The music starts playing, and the bride is walked down the aisle by her father, dressed in his best outfit: sweatpants, a baseball cap, and yellow star-shaped sun-glasses. He also wore his ceremonial flashing shoes. He brings her to the stand, beaming with pride, and goes to sit on the opposite side. Drunkle: "I'm gonna show my dick!" Asides from a few "shhh", no one seems to react to that line from the drunk guy you've been seeing around. It seems everyone is used to that type of behaviour. -> The speech beginsThe speech begins
You wait for the music to quiet down, clear your throat, and start speaking. Or rather, stutter a bit, clear your throat again, and then start speaking.- "W... We are gathered here on this joyous day to celebrate the union between GROOM and BRIDE. This union of two people who, transcending Romeo and Juliet, have united their families through the sole strength of the purity of their bond."
- "W... We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of GROOM and BRIDE, who challenged the will of their families, to make official the union of their bond!"
Speech #2
You pause for a bit. A fly passes by. Someone coughs at the end of the room. "This of course would not have been possible without the approval and blessing of their parents, whose joy and pride can be felt by all of us present today." If the mother trusts youThe father of the bride smiles at you: in this smile you see that his whole life is clearly coming together, and for him, for once, on this one bright day, everything seems to makes sense. Suddenly, the Mother stands up. Mother: "Stop this mascarade!" A few audible gasps are heard. Mother: "No one here deserves the sanctimony of marriage. Gentlemen! Arrest them." A few men stand up in the crowd. Undercover cops ? Who would have thought. One of them approaches her and whispers something in her ear. Mother: "Ah, but our dear pastor here has given me all the proof I needed! And here it is! Now, do your duty!" She produces a piece of paper. The newly discovered cop takes it and reads it over.
If you have given more than three correct answers to the mother"Alright boys, that's what we needed! Lock them in."
-> Everyone is arrested Ending If you have given less than three correct endings to the mother -> The arrest fails Ending If the mother does not trust youAs an answer, the mother sends you the iciest look you've ever saw. You shrug it off, and keep going with your speech.
-> Speech #3The arrest fails
Cop: "Ma'am that proves nothing." Mother: "I'm sorry?" Cop: "I'm saying this proves nothing, we can't act right now" The Mother looks at you, furious. Groom: "Mom, what does this mean?" Cop: "Well, this is... awkward" A lot of screaming, crying, confusion and a little bit of killing after, the room is now far emptier without all the undercover cops, and the mother of the groom. The wedding goes on, but the mood is of course ruined. -> Speech #3Speech #3
You clear your throat, embarassed. "Well, ehm, our Lord works in mysterious ways, so of course unexpected things happen in such momentous events!" "Marriage, before anything else, is a duty. Duty to yourself. Duty to your spouse. You will soon make your vows, but first, I must warn. Whoever wishes to oppose this union: speak now or forever hold your peace." If the maid of honor trusts youBehind you, a voice is raised: "I will speak!" A collective gasp is heard. You turn around, as fear grips your heart. It was the maid of honor's voice, that just spoke. Not unlike the Titanic, realization starts sinking in your mind.
-> The maid confesses If the maid of honor does not trust youThe same fly as before, puzzled as to why everyone seems to be paying attention to it, passes by once more. Pastor: "Very well, you may now exchange your vows" Shyly, the soon to be newlyweds exchange a piece of paper, smiling to each other. Pastor: "Privacy and humbleness. Truly commendable qualities. Our Lord have clearly meant these two for each other. We shall now proceed to the ring exchange!"
-> Exchange of the ringsThe maid confesses
She approaches the bride and takes her hand in hers. The groom seems half-convinced it's a bit. You're not so sure. If you've given her the correct advice 1"I didn't want to do this. For my reputation and yours. But I can't keep silent. Some things must be said, and honesty is always best." She side eyes you.
If you've given her the wrong advice 1She yells to the crowd. "If you any of you wankers laugh I'll fuck you up ya hear ?"
If you've given her the correct advice 2"I love you. Ever since we were children, ever since we were playing 'tear the nerd's nails out' on the playground, I've loved you with all my heart." The bride's eyes shine
If you've given her the wrong advice 2"I uh... I wanna suck on your titties and shit." The bride raises an eyebrow.
If you've given her the correct advice 3"And I understand if you never want to speak to me after hearing this. But I think you're making a mistake by marrying him. And I think we are meant to be together. For real, not for some political bullshit!"
If you've given her the wrong advice 3"And I mean I don't know, I think if you don't say yes that'd pretty dumb you know but do whatever. But if you say yes, I'll spend the rest of my time, like... sexing you."
If she has given at least 2 good answers -> Maid happy ending If she has given less than 2 good answers -> Maid rejectionMaid rejection
The bride frowns and lets go of the Maid's hands. "I... Don't know what you were going for here, but this is my wedding day, you can't do this!" The Maid's eye switch. A sorrow you couldn't possibly have imagined, coming from her, start filling them. She looks at you.- You shrug.
- You smile.
Exchange of the rings
If the Maid has been rejectedThere is again, a moment of silence. You realize that if the wedding's going to go on, you have to make it go on. "Well, that was... All right let's just forget all about that. Will the ringbearer now bring the rings?"
If the Maid hasn't confessedThe music starts playing.
As the music plays, the Ringbearer walks up the stage, bearing the basket of flowers in her hands, and spreading yellow flower petals all around her. It seems to you that the color of the petals match her eyes. Once she arrives, she hands the rings to the fiances, with a very performative smile. They exchange the rings, and say a few words. I the ring bearer trusts youWhile that happens, the ringbearer shuffles around them, to come and talk to you. A highly unusual proceeding which doesn't feel like it, judging by everyone's absence of a reaction. Ringbearer: "Alright old man, you've done an adequate job so far. Now, when you tell them to kiss, I want you to announce this to everyone: the assets of both families, regardless of any previous allegiance, are now one, through this union. I count on you to insist on how bright of a future this is announcing." Pastor: "What ? Why me?", you ask. Ringbearer: "Everyone trusts a pastor to be unbiased." She says with half a smile, "Now be a good little pet, and maybe you'll get a treat." Pastor: "I'm not interested in material goods." Ringbearer: "I'm talking about keeping your life." Pastor: "Oh." Well, it all comes down to this. A job well done, and another day lived through. Only one thing left to do.
If all the characters trust you- You know what ? You've had enough. It's time to tell these people what you really think of them
- Marry the couple, and make the announcement.
- Marry the couple.
Then, they hold each other's newly ringed hands, and look at you, expectantly.
- Marry the couple.
Everyone is arrested ending (Mother's ending)
Maid happy Ending (Maid of Honor's Ending)
The wedding ending ("Good" Ending)
The Ringbearer's smile fades as she realises you are not going to say what she's asked you to say. The guests clap as the couple kisses, later, the wedding prolonges itself into a party. You mingle, you smile, you congratulate, and you please. But behind your shoulder is a shadow, a smile, and the sound of snipping scissors. As you go to bed that night, and each night long after the wedding, you're still not sure which is worse.
If the Ringbearer doesn't trust youThe guests clap as the couple kisses, later, the wedding prolonges itself into a party. You mingle, you smile, you congratulate, and you please. Congratulations, it looks like you've managed to keep control of the wedding, and to save your church and your life. Well, until the next wedding at least. Or the next funeral.
THE ENDThe wedding happens, and the Ringbearer wins Ending (Ringbearer's Ending)
The Pastor snaps (Pastor's Ending)
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