Gaaagh

A Cabal of Mages with the Singular Goal of Leaving their Planet Behind

Among the Bardagi there exists only one organization of note. As with everything on Bardaga, the Gaaagh were a completely accidental occurrence brought about by the anarchistic environment of a planet created by petulant and ill behaved children with no divine nanny, and parent gods who were far too busy away from their young.

Pivkin the Squishy, previously Pivkin the Rough Hided Menace, decided since both appeasing their deities and building defences against them failed, the Bardagi ought to get the flick off Bardaga.

I am told by Minitron that Pivkin's rousing speech was so passionate and volumous to be heard over both Bubble Puppy packs and screaming Bardagi running from geysers, it banded otherwise anarchist people together under the banner of leaving the freaking death trap of a planet they lived on.

Right as he was proclaiming how this was to be done, Pivkin the Rough Hided Menace earned his final moniker when the child-god Dag pitched a meteor at him from space.

Apparently even the roughest of hided menaces are squishy with the appropriate application of physics.

Purpose

Tasked with finding a way off the planet, the Gaaagh's first successful experiment was conducted using the mighty Minitron as Champion. Dear Minitron ran so fast and believed so hard that the other side of the flickering portal was exactly where he and his army of compatriots ought to go, that he found the other side.

"Ey! No spoiling the story, my disembodied dude. If they wanna hear about how I saved Midgard and Bardaga, I promise to tell the whole thing! Mini-T! Crack open the brewskies, let's... oh hi Lilith Mischeva... you're... you wanna hear the story t-ahhhahaha did I say brewskies? I meant... Root... Beer. When's your Dad coming to pick you up?"

— Lou Areides

"After he deals with this dragon sitch in Canada, but like! I! I totally have time for a story before bedtime, right!? I promise I'll even be good."

— Lilith Mischeva

Oh delightful, my two favourite supernatural beings in the same room. However could this go right?

"Eheheeeeh... leave it to me to babysit the Judge's kid... d'aww, okay kiddo, Unkies Lou and Mini-T will tell ya the story. It starts with Gaaagh... what? What're you chuckling for T? Eh, whatever. The lil nugget ain't nothing close to trouble."

— Lou Areides

"Time to G-aaagh!"

The last will and testament of Pivkin the Squishy, initiant of the Gaaagh.

Alternative Names

The Wholly Justified Order of Getting the Flicker Whits Off Bardaga and Conquering Somewhere Less Insane; The Gaaagle

Founder

Pivkin the Squishy

Leaders

Hickby de Poof
Bup
Hippatini

Champion

Minitron

Demonym

Gaaagle

Location

Bardaga

Related Ethnicities

Bardagi

Related Organizations

Kopis Industries

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Three Gaaagh Mages preparing to open a portal and do battle with Bar's somewhat all-seeing eye.

Mythology & Deities

While technically the divine energies of Bar and Dag are the swirling aether from which the Gaaagh tap, this collection of mages is unique in the Cosmos for one specific and verifiable truth:

They hate their gods with a passion that empowers their magic to the nth degree.

Glorified children born to deities far too busy to do things like raise the petulant beings, Bar and Dag view Bardaga as their personal playground to build and destroy. After generations of watching the deities create, conquer, and giggle as they throw space rocks at wildlife which usually included them, the Gaaagh began to pick up certain ingredients and tells.

If placation didn't work, and they were incapable of building anything for themselves before Dag decided to wreck it, the Bardagi would pick up their surviving members and form a glorious war band to conquer some other planet in the cosmos less equipped with arrogant and spoiled brats for gods.

After discovering they couldn't breathe in space (Pudnup the Brave's story will be forever told until someone forgets that verse), and attempting to use the pressure of a plugged up glitter geyser with a boulder on top was not an appropriate form of transportation, the Gaaagh turned to magic.

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The three types of Gaaagh Mage:

Portalies

Led by

Hickby de Poof

Gaaagh dedicated to improving on Hickby de Poof's ability to teleport to the safest alternative space. Portal magic is driven by Moop Toot pollen and requires a blessed form of stubbornness which makes even Caleb Mauthisen seem laissez-fare.

Shieldies

Led by

Bup

Gaaagh dedicated to the flailings of Bup, who puts such faith in his armour petal shields, they withstand almost anything Bar and Dag throw at them... for a full sixteen seconds! Shieldies protect the Portalies from backlash long enough to conduct their sympathetic magic.

Warbies

Led by

Hippatini

Throwing glitternades made by the industrious Hippatini, back at the gods long enough to distract them with brightly coloured grit in their divine eyeballs. Only the strongest arms and most accurate eyes can become Warbies.

Go Go Go!

There is but one problem with the Gaaagh. They never considered the issue of scale.

Hear the glorious grunts of the Gaaagh in the upcoming audio drama Wax Wing Season 1, written by and starring Sapha Burnell & starring and produced by Emily Armstrong.