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Ancient Wisdom
As each new king ascends the throne,
an ancient wisdom is intoned:
"A power that's accumulated
is a target to be hated
so for long reigns to be fated
make sure that crap gets delegated!"
The King
Source of Power
In a typical monarchy of Mythoversal Hellas, all power flows from the Gods of Olympus directly into the body of the king. This happens daily, at about half an hour before dawn.
The exact method of transfer is a closely guarded secret, but palace insiders have hinted at a process that involves a chamber-pot and much loud singing.
Holding Power
Within the body of a king, the Power of the Gods is stored in a colon-adjacent organ known to healers as the royal appendix (or
appendix royale in the Kingdom of Mycenae).
The royal appendix can be found attached to the intestines of all persons of true royal birth, and is not to be confused with the common peasant's appendix, or
appendix de classe inférieure.
Being insufficiently coated in gold, and not properly lined with velvet, the common peasant's appendix has an unfortunate, often fatal tendency to burst with a comical
splat!
In contrast, the royal appendix ruptures with a more dignified popping sound, reminiscent of a miniature cannon.
Extent of Power
The daily renewal ritual grants the king absolute authority over every living creature, every speck of matter, and every thought within every mortal mind contained within the boundaries of a kingdom's sovereign territory.
Duration of Power
Most kings, according to their individualized levels of intestinal fortitude, are able to hold onto this level of power for between three to six seconds.
It's said that King Agamemnon, a famously power-retentive monarch, was able to hold on for up to ten seconds.
But eventually, the power erupts outward from the most conveniently located orifice as the king's duty is performed.
The Power of the Gods then drifts downwind from the palace, invisible but somehow still perceived, and diffuses throughout the kingdom.
Delegation of Power
Some royal authority vests in the high priest, allowing the priesthood to operate under as the king's divine proxy.
Some royal authority vests in the magistrate, allowing city governments to keep the king's peace.
Some royal authority vests with the general of the army, allowing the military to perform operations under the king's seal.
The remainder flows to the queen, who uses it to run the royal household.
The Balance of Power
Although all official actions are done in the name of the king, a proper king will have relieved himself of all duties before breakfast time, freeing his day for such pursuits as hunting, napping, feasting, drinking, getting frisky with the staff, and sleeping it off until the cycle of power begins anew.
Thus the common expression, "It's good to be king."
Wow! This is hilarious and why Kings are going to be the "profession that recently became illegal" prompt.
Take a look at my Institutions of Learning challenge article.
Learn about the World of Wizard's Peak and check out my award winning article about the Ghost Boy of Kirinal!
Hmm. That's going to be a fun prompt as well.