The Watermelon Wagon
A VEHICLE THAT, WHEN INTRODUCED, CAUSED SOCIAL UPHEAVAL
"Another Watermelon Wagon explosion. It happened earlier today on the Royal 1. Fortunately, no one was injured but we've brought in some experts to debate some of the pressing issues about this new, but possibly dangerous mode of transportation."
"The real issue is that The Fairy Godmother
used to be the only one able to create a fruit or vegetable vehicle of any kind and now, thanks to her...I don't know...new stance on life, or something, we've got unskilled wanna be
fairy godmothers running around with wands they don't know how to use making unsafe wagons."
"I don't want to blame The Fairy Godmother for this. Yes, at one time she was the only game in town, but these wanna be fairy godmothers are, quite frankly, ruining it for those new fairy godmothers who are putting in the work and producing quality results. I love watermelon wagons. They're convenient and comfortable and affordable."
"I think we really need to point out that that wagon was going 8 miles per hour. No wagon can sustain that sort of force. Top speed for a wagon is 4 miles per hour. And to be going that fast while "hitting midnight," well I'm shocked the only injury was to the watermelon."
"I agree the driver must have been whipping those poor horses into a frenzy to get to those speeds."
"Possibly high on pixie dust but we have no real evidence of that right now."
"I can't believe that we're skipping over the fact that now anyone can rent a magical fruit and drive around in it. No training, no magical guidance. I have to agree with it being The Fairy Godmother at fault here. She was responsible for the safe handling of Pumpkin Carriages and other transportive gourdes, melons, and squash, and now there is no accountability."
"That's what makes this exciting. We're stepping into a new age where the old rules have to be reassessed. The Watermelon Wagon is transportation for the people."
"Excuse me, sorry, I'm getting an update, yes, yes...it seems all four of the mice who were horses have been found and are currently being treated for dehydration and some minor lacerations. Unless things take a turn for the worse, they will be released back into the wild tomorrow."
"That is promising news."
"And that's all the time we have. There you have it. Watermelon Wagons public menace or transportation savior? After the break we'll speak with professional potions maker Agrathica Cane who encourages everyone to try their hand at making their own Solstice Potion."
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