Zoe's Journal #6 - The Cawton Island report

Day 10, maybe 11 or 12... Have to check with the crew
Last night was awful, I wasn't even able to get proper sleep due to a nightmare that repeated itself and even when I finally woke up, I was horizontal along the wall, something that hadn't occurred before. Regarding these nightmares. in the beginning, I found myself in a small reading room with three books that piqued my interest; Knowledge, Power and a Gift of Comfort. Under most circumstances, I would have gone for Knowledge or Power, but after everything that's happened since this journey started, I craved the familiarity of comfort. Soon after the nightmare would repeat itself; my village on fire, and everyone I ever cared for was either dead or dying in my arms. Each time someone died in my arms; a friend, a family member, a crewmate, a crush, they let out something I've overheard from hushed conversations back in Shady Gallows, stuff that I don't think I was supposed to hear. I've yet to bring it up in conversation with any of my crewmates, i know it's none of their business, but why would my own family... no, I shouldn't think about it now, I have more immediate problems due to what happened at Claughton.
Anyway, I bumped into Morgan as we made port. Whilst we were figuring out our next move, Morgan couldn't help but notice how tired I was and wanted me to go back to bed, but I tried (and failed) to express that i was fine. Knowing I was going to pass out without some extra energy, Morgan let me syphon some blood from her to give myself the equivalent of a coffee rush, or was that a sugar rush? I felt better, though Morgan insisted that she'd be buying more fleshy and blood-heavy produce to help me with my condition. As we were talking, I don't know why I asked this, but I enquired with Morgan about her previous romantic encounters. I think she said there was someone but it never took off. when she asked about mine I confessed that I once dated a marine named Damian and whilst there was genuine love in the air, we spent so much time on different ships without seeing each other more than once or twice every couple of months that we agreed to call it off. Morgan advised me that if i desire romance again it should be with someone who I regularly work or travel with. Admittedly, I did have a crush on Nina, our resident tiefling bard, though I struggle to recall how that developed. I think she might feel the same way since she invited me to buy her a drink at the local tavern. Regardless of her intentions, i see no harm in giving it a go.
First things first, the captain wanted us to inform a halfling recipient in town that we had arrived and double check where to drop of his part of the cargo. Myself, Morgan, Perfurar and Clyde i believe met with the halfling, confirming the address at a small warehouse by the docks before we dropped off the supplies in question. i know its a little childish to say this, but i do enjoy the company of my party as I've come to know them as, even Clyde. i know out golem of chaos could theoretically live forever if he was looked after, but the other two, I'm more afraid to think on which of us will leave the others behind first. I know none of them approve of my aspirations, but with two near-death experiences in the last day... i shouldn't dwell on it now.
We eventually made it to the tavern where Morgan and Perfurar wasted no time looking for recruits for the ship, given a few hands didn't want to associate with the ship further after the Grinning Jack incident. i can't say i blame them. However, before i knew it, i had lost track of the rest of my party, all disappearing one by one. I shouldn't worry, they can handle themselves. In the meantime, I saw Nina sitting by the bar and figured this would be my chance to get to know her a little more. though I couldn't justify to myself why i was so hesitant. I felt like I was paralysed on the spot, stuck for what felt like hours, unable to move. why was this so difficult? Its not like most of the Isles wouldn't care less. Eventually, I managed to compose myself and went to the bar.
Of course, as if on cue, there was a massive explosion out the window, further in town. I don't know why, but I had a sneaking suspicion as to what, or rather who, was responsible for the fiery explosion, but regardless, i knew our shore leave was about to be cut short. I bought a bottle of Wine before leaving, intent to share with Nina back aboard the ship. As the rest of us arrived, I saw Morgan already aboard a little more annoyed than usual, Theron rushing in from the beach, Perfurar coming back with a sheet concealing a lot of clanging and apparently Clyde was already in the Cap'n's office. I know I have problems, but I'm concerned The Cap'n might snap sooner or later if these incidents keep repeating in the future.