Tyler explored The Estate on his way to Damon's Office. The corridors felt longer than they looked. Tyler passed doors, each with a plaque that hinted at what went on within or plainly stating who could be found inside. He saw busts of prominent members in the Cabal's past, even passing one of Morrigan. He reached the door, knocked, and Damon answered, welcoming Tyler inside.
"Tyler," Damon said. "Come in. What can I do for you?"
"I wanted to thank you personally for your help with my catalyst."
Damon laughed. "Of course," he said as he walked to a whiskey decanter and poured two glasses. He handed one to Tyler. "I'm glad you're here. I wanted to ask how you were doing."
"I'm doing good," Tyler replied, sitting in a leather chair that sat in front of a dark wood desk. "Why?"
Damon spoke after taking a drink, "Don't tell her I told you." He paused as he sat in the chair behind his desk, undoing the buttons on the jacket of his suit as he did. "Morrigan is not okay." He noticed Tyler's expression. "Oh no, not about your progress, or the pilgrimage," he said, rushing the words out as fast as he could form them. "I'm talking about the incident in the forest. How are you handling what happened?"
"I'm kind of over it. To be honest I try to not think about it at all."
"Smart," Damon said. "I think it did a number on her, and she doesn't have the heart to talk to you, or try to give you the tools to help. I have some experience with it, so I thought I'd give some advice."
"You go homicidal, too?"
"No," Damon said, looking down the desk and back to Tyler. "We were a couple for many years, I know what it's like to be on the receiving end."
"Oh," Tyler said, his eyes went wide and Damon nodded with a sigh before Tyler continued, "I'm bad at awkward moments, sorry. You're her ex?"
Damon nodded again, "I got stabbed though, you were lucky."
"That's," Tyler began, narrowing his eyes, "not reassuring."
"I'd hope not," Damon said. "What do you know about the passion?"
"It's an altered state of mind that leaves the caster fully aware and in control but without filters. They lose empathy and they lose morality as well. They just see red."
"No," Damon said. "Remember, The Arcana is outdated. It's the reverse. The passion makes you feel more than ever before. It's not homicidal mania, it's an addiction."
"She feels remorse after, and wants to stop only to fall off the wagon."
"Yes," Damon said.
"What do I do if it happens again?" Tyler asked.
"Run," Damon replied. "Hope she doesn't notice you. You can't stop it, but you can remove yourself from her path. Don't speak, don't make noise-"
"Why can't it just be simple?"
Damon opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. He nodded, staring into the whiskey as if searching for the right words in the bottom of the glass, "My advice isn't to run."
"You just told-"
"I know, but that won't work." Damon rubbed the back of his head as he continued, "Imagine feeling a hatred so strong you are prone to aggression. Imagine a feeling of love so strong you'd be willing to brutally kill to protect it."
"She made something for me, and I hated it." Tyler said.
"Exactly. She hated them, loved you. She turned and felt your fear, your disgust, then felt both the hate and love at the same time. She couldn't help herself."
Tyler sighed, "I doubt she loves me."
"Why?"
"She's never said as much. I don't know how she was with you, but she's not one to keep her opinions to herself."
"That's true, but you know better."
"So continuing to be with her is a threat to my health."
"Yes, but it doen't have to be," Damon replied.
"What do I do?"
"Accept her. Our relationship ended because we couldn't accept who we were. This is a part of her. If you can't show that acceptance, your life is on the line."
"You're asking me to accept the blood, murder, and horror?"
"Yes," Damon said with a nod.
Tyler scoffed, "She can't even accept who I am. I feel like a little brother half the time, and when I started training with Isla, she denied a power that is most certainly real."
Damon smiled, "Oh, I had this talk with her too. She was about as upset as you are. You both need to accept each other."
"How?"
Damon shrugged. "I have no idea. I do know that when you face all the blood, murder, and horror again, It'd be wise to show her you understand. Accept her at that moment, and I assure you, it will work."
Tyler laughed. "I'll get right on that."
Damon crossed his arms. "When she gets back, she's going to need that. I don't know what this is going to do to her, but the passion will be much stronger."
"Shit." Tyler said. He watched as Damon stood up and refilled his glass. "What couldn't she accept with you?"
Damon shifted in his seat. "Most people who take the rite can do many things. You and I are different. Discordians can't learn several genres of The Prestige, but I can't even learn one."
"She told me you use a gun as a catalyst. How is that possible?"
Damon laughed. "I can only do simple manifestations of static. I can play with force, but nothing fancy. Some people who take the rite wake up with a single talent."
"Like what?" Tyler asked.
"When I'm in an altered state of mind, meaning drunk, I can mentally connect with what I consume. Think psychics, but I have to eat or drink it while drunk for the talent to work. In world war two, I drank the ashes of several Nazi officers to help in cracking german ciphers."
Tyler leaned forward. "That's..."
Damon held out a hand and nodded, "Disgusting, I know."
"She couldn't accept that?"
Damon shook his head. "No.", he said, standing and gesturing for Tyler to do the same. Damon wouldn't look him in the eye.
"Sorry," Tyler said, turning slowly and walking to the door.
"It's not you." Damon replied. "It's not that she couldn't understand my talents."
"What was it then? You don't have to answer."
Damon picked up the glass, as if to show it off. "She couldn't accept my drinking."
Wowza. I really liked this chapter. There were a few phrasing things that could do with being polished like in the previous chapter. But, frankly, I loved everything in this chapter. The idea of Morrigan and Tyler needing to confront and accept the differences between them as well as the imminent threat of the growing Passion tearing them apart if they cannot. Equally, I like how Damon has a different perspective on the Prestige since he's, to my understanding, pretty much limited to the most simple of functions. Beyond that, I loved the little bits of banter between Tyler and Damon. Lastly, the ending line was incredible. I really liked the punch it had. Perfect. Great work! (As you can probably tell, my ability to comprehend things is a bit scattered at the moment considering how the last comment was harsh and this one pretty much just sang your praises. However, this chapter was pretty good according to late-night me! Keep up the good work)
I would also suggest you work on your "Back Cover Excerpt" as the current bit is more of a tag line. It's less of a preparation for the reading and more of a statement about Morrigan.
So actually i dont think it's late night you at all. I think a major problem is this: alot of chapters that didnt quite hit for you have copy/pasted sections of articles ive written in the world. while altered slightly, they may need alot more work that i completely missed. Then you have this section which is almost entirely character focused. Virtually no world building here, so no copy paste. these sections you praise. I do believe i have found the major issue. Will address. Also yes, back cover is a problem. ill have to think on that today and see what i can come up with
I redid the back cover, and would love to know how it works now. Is it any better? I tried to cover all bases. Also, i'm currently in crisis, and have to expand on future chapters to fix errors I found while editing. Guess the climax is still a little ways away. Were looking at a few new chapters as well. It may take a bit for chapters to come out, but they will.
What perfect timing. I was just about to reply to your comment when I noticed you'd updated your back cover. I like the ambiguity and mystery in the cover teaser, however, it still focuses way more on Morrigan. Tyler's name is even mentioned beyond "a lover who can't seem to remember who she is" While I do feel that Morrigan is the most important element of the story, I would also say that Tyler is the protagonist as he experiences the greater character growth and we spend more time in his perspective. I'd also change "as close to love as she is to war" to "as close to love as she is to blood". You should also rework "she loves her in ways she cannot comprehend" as I can't tell if Morrigan can't comprehend the Goddess' love or if it's the other way around. "also has an enemy" doesn't need the has. If you're going for the repetition of the phrase, you should go all-in otherwise it fails. The blood in diety of blood and extremes could be changed to sacrifice if you make the previous change I mentioned as well. Other than that, I really like the updates. And don't worry about the rate of chapters coming out. I can wait :) -- It's a good thing you figured out why some of your chapters are a bit better to read than others. That makes things easier. I would also suggest you consider rewriting the chapters without consideration for your articles and, once happy with those, edit the paragraphs in instead of the other way around. Quick question: how much editing have you done so far? I've not checked back on the previous chapters, so I'm wondering if you've only been moving forward or doing a mix of both.
Hmmm... I could fix that a couple ways. would it be a good idea to have Tyler have his own ambiguous section? I always viewed them both as the main character. Maybe he needs a similar paragraph? Some of those changes are a definite yes, however blood is kind of important, as she doesn't really represent sacrifice. She is literally a goddess of blood... hmm and instead of war could it be better to put hate, as they are opposites. I chose war since she is a goddess of extremes. a goddess of polar opposites. let me give it a go and see what happens. lol I've been doing small edits here and there, but nothing crazy like what I'm going to be doing here in the next day or so. I'll be taking your advice in each comment as I restructure each chapter, try to catch the pesky typos that keep slipping past my editor, and fixing up dialogue tags. Some chapters may be condensed, others will be expanded slightly, but nothing truly new apart for some rephrasing of exposition Definitely a better idea than pasting XD
Ooh. I really like the updated version. The quote boxes do well there to add interest and the design looks good. I also like the inclusion of Tyler. It definitely does well as a hook for a book.
Why thank you! I'm glad it's better. Morrigan's perspective gains far more prominence from here on out, which is why they kind of both get to be main characters.