Short Straws Session 22-27 Report

General Summary

Silver Wing's Diary

Silver Wing's Journal - Do not read unless I am dead If I had to tell another pony what has happened over the course of about a month they'd certainly think I was insane.   In those caves we ran into Jellycap's family, or perhaps they were also part of Jellycap? I still have little idea what Jellycap is or how it functions, but they brewed some concoction that she believed would turn me back to my former self. I will not complain about having been penguin again after being turned something called a blippum albeit retaining some penguinesque (I do not believe that is a real word) features. What a horrifying thing to see in the mirror. But we had to keep moving and so after recovering from that shock we went deeper into the cave system. We didn't get very far as the spores from the fungi overwhelmed our senses and one by one we fell unconscious.   It is hard to describe what happened after that. Was it a dream? Another plane of existence? It seemed as if it had elements of both. Eventually we found ourselves in a land now controlled by a magically adept kirin musician named Antonio Concerto. I might revisit what transpired in greater detail at some other time but ultimately our unlikely party slew them and that reality seemed to collapse around us.   In another stroke of luck we woke up aboard a prison ship on its way to Crimin Isle. It seems guards or possibly members of the Bannermanes tracked us into the caves and found us almost encased in that fungi. We had been there for weeks even though our team in that dream seemed much shorter than that. I suppose I should be thankful to our captors as I could have been trapped there for the rest of my life. Interestingly enough Flat Earth was not with us and it seems likely that she had escaped the fungi before we were found. I wonder if she made any attempt to save the rest of us but I certainly can't blame her if she didn't. I don't believe she'd be particularly happy to see me again after I used some unfortunate words while under a charm inflicted upon me by Antonio Concerto. As for Antonio, far from being dead he was with us in that cell. It seems that he was the leader of that particular group of Threadrippers and had earlier met the same fate in those caves as we did.   To my amazement it seemed that vile brew that Jellycap had devised had worked! I was mostly back to my old self minus what some mushrooms on my ears which will hopefully go away in time. But there was no time to celebrate on the way to imprisonment. We spoke to the captain and crew of the ship for some time as we seemed to be going nowhere fast due to engine difficulties. Most if not all of us were planning our defenses cases for when we would face trial. We were told we would be allowed a legal representative in court and someone suggested I try to contact Buckback and see if would represent me. I figured it was worth a shot although I recognized it was highly unlikely, even before one of the guards commented that he'd be too busy caught up in that grand Kaledai Ball. The rich and powerful must be living quite the life over there. I am not disdainful of such individuals but I'll admit I wouldn't mind seeing some of them fall flat on their face like that one showboating pegasi who seems to be on every cover of that Kalidaily rag.   Nonny was another option who would be representing some others in our party but I was still thinking of who else I knew might be up to the task. The only other pony I could think of that might have the influence to sway the court would have been my uncle, although it's been ages since I'd last seen that stubborn old mercenary. Still, I was slightly optimistic that I could make a good case for myself. After all most of those wanted posters and descriptions referenced a penguin who was certainly just someone's familiar.   But as events would unfold none of that would matter. In the distance the captain spotted some smoke coming from Crimin Isle and spoke of how the place had originally been built to contain one of the Four Horrors. I can't say such a creature caused what happened next but the island erupted in a massive explosion the likes of which I've never seen. Words would not justice to the destruction but debris from what must have been the prison was sent flying for miles. As luck would have one such piece of debris happened to be a cage which landed right on top of the poor captain, killing him instantly. An unusual alicorn with a mane of fire burst from the cage and made short work of the two guards that tried to apprehend her. Dyx as she called herself seemed to have no care in the world and immediately offered to break us out and declared us to be her crew. Almost as soon as we grabbed our equipment we spotted a massive tidal wave approaching our ship. Acting quickly Lassie determined the engines were out of fuel and threw some kirin special in the tank. What in the name of the Moon Princess is in that vile stuff? The kirin would kill to protect that secret. With that the ship went flying to avoid destruction but we didn't have the means to stay airborne for long. Maybe if I had acted quicker and mixed up something I could have kept us in the skies but we hardly had time and all I could do was grab Cecile as the other members of our party with means of flight jumped from the ship.   I regret we did not save the two Threadrippers which we had met back in Somberdale. They were still unconscious in the brig of the ship when it crashed into the water and rocks by the shore and did not survive. We did find Plot Armor among the wreckage however. She had apparently been in the hold of the ship. When I asked how she survived the crash all she said was "I blocked it." That mare really has the luck of the gods on her side.   Very near to the crash site we found an encampment of gobbos, who, being the moronic creatures that they are, assumed they needed to make a sacrifice to the now active volcano. They tried to grab Cecile, shouting "virgin mare" the whole time, and a fight ensued. They were tougher than they looked but we killed all besides for one who we took captive and another who was pushed off the cliff into the water yet managed to swim his way to a beach to the south. Somehow he managed to obtain that unholy pillow of Flat Earth that had accompanied us back from Antonio's dream realm but that is hardly a loss.   As we took a quick rest by the fire of the encampment Antonio Concerto joined us, but rather than accept his offer of healing several members of our party decided right then and there to try to kill him. They ignored my best attempts to make them cease their attack and Antonio cast some spell and disappeared, making his way into the water and ultimately evading the attempt to track him. These Threadrippers may not be the most noble organization out there but we have no allies and really can't afford making everyone in the world our enemy. I don't think the others in the party realize that.   As things stand now though we have agreed to help Dyx free her sibling Nyx from a smaller prison that has survived the devastation. She went over a bit of her history and told us that she used to know Nonny, but I'm still wary of her. Once we've helped her out maybe then we will find a way back to the mainland? From there I have no idea what I should do. Should I stay with my erratic allies? What plans do any of the rest of them have? I feel like there is no appropriate time to ask such questions. I don't know if our luck will hold out if we continue to stumble around aimlessly. Well, hopefully this prison break goes smoother than the last one.  

Chuggie's AWOL Agent Reports

AWOL Agent Report: Existential Clarity

After some routine healing from the agent plus some daily preparations, the ragtag group approached the prison tower to rescue their target. Once again, codename Snake Oil stepped in to make a fruitful distraction and the party barged in. At first, it proved to be a cinch with the first three guards (reminder not to eat Antean nerd mare's waffles under no circumstances), but their luck ran out as the combination between the guard sounding the alarm and our cowpony stereotype fired his weapon off into the guard's neck.   This unleashed one of the most long-winded wars of attrition that was ever transpired in such a small and unassuming town. It was so arduous and stressful that some party members, including the rogue agent, to play very questionable moves: The schizophrenic pegasus first gave a zebra a longsword only to then antagonize him during one of his common episodes, the salespony with a gun further exacerbated things by unlocking the cell door out of tactical spite for the red pony and our agent boldly charged through a barrage of swords and spears for no strategic advantage whatsoever. The amount of times the party went down neared the double digits, not to mention how many were captured and left out of the fight. Only divine intervention and two of the prisoners freed from their cells turned the tide and eradicated the undead captain of the town guard.   Caution: Necromantic meddling implies clear corruption. Do not establish contact without exact knowledge on goals & objectives.   Something of note is the tacit addition to the pack, codename Pipe Bomb. Junk collector with a clear lips. Possible dental reconfiguration required for normal pronunciation.

AWOL Agent Report: Challenges Ahead

The group soon directed the VIP off to the dropoff point only to then be encouraged to escape the town via an underground passage full of memory Mycellia. One of the ex-convicts, a kirin assassin, quickly ate one raw and was promptly sent into a psychadelic trip. This gave the group the idea to use their clockwork pony codename Soibot (real factory name yet to be acquired) as a drug synthesizer. After a brief pang of doubt, the mentally deranged stallion took the drugged soy glop and promptly went on a more energetic trip.   In the meantime, codename Cecile's key shone, indicating a challenge ahead, which the agent and the junk bomber took notice. This was followed by the mechanized creature to offer a round of soy slop for the agent to consume after a heartfelt confession of some kind, which was thwarted by the red pony's spiritually heightened state. Facial and acoustic investigations indicate a surprisingly blank, bemused face in comparison to when we first found her. Data inconclusive, must continue analysis of the situation. And done  

AWOL Agent Report: Missing Hoofage

After losing track of our agent due to various series of incidents, we found them being carried off by a currently unidentified faction with a shield and cuffs. Best guess is they're slavers or bounty hunters of some kind. More observation is required. Parsing through the dream through scrying magic, we've come to find they have been stuck in a shared dreamscape for a couple weeks. Most of the dream's contents was unrecoverable, but our experts managed to obtain enough to ascertain the party had been fighting against what seems to be a mentally unwell violinist struggling to keep whatever shred of sanity he had left, specially after being struck by a sex reassignment by the party. There was also a celestial being that wanted the party to save their pet, but no real information has been found on either of them aside from its hatchling-like tendencies.   The clearest recording started at a magically rigged castle where flying was barred. Cool Esper, now certified schizophrenic fork lifter, managed to fling himself over the wall and will himself into being part of what seemed to be the violinist's R&D team. They quickly discovered their main goal was creating tuning forks with various effects, such as testicular torsion, luck manipulation, induced amnesia and physical mending, among others. They took their time to explore around the place, turning on a marshmallow fork in the cafeteria, attempting to go up an infinite amount of steps and interacting with the science team before they stumbled onto the finite stairs fork. This allowed them to finally climb up (or ride up for those unfortunate enough to trust a schizophrenic's vision) the fiddle player's tower and properly confront her and two dreamcatchers.   After numerous life sucking attacks, collapsing, extensive bat charming and magical fork tuning, the party overcame the odds, causing the castle to crumble and the pet to be saved. They were promptly transported to a more surreal dream web where the deity thanked every single one of them with kisses before being blinded back into reality.   Conclusion: Never go into mushroom caves, even if they are convenient for escaping a kingdomwide bounty hunt.