Fey Recipe - Warrior's Tart Mutation - Fatal Flan

Don't eat that flan. Don't touch it. Don't even look at it while thinking about eating it. Don't think about food. Actually, it may simply be safer for you to leave...
— Kranjax
  Under normal circumstances, the list of ingredients that make the Warriors Tart, do in-fact, results in the creation of a Warrior's Tart.   Under abnormal circumstances, you get something much tastier, and far more deadly.   Those specifically blessed with Malign or Benign alignments have a bit of an odd reaction when attempting to make a Warrior's Tart. Some of the ingredients seem to be absorbed, leaving some flan-like dish.   Its flavor will depend on whatever fruit is involved, and every known variant is known to be extremely tasty, to the point of being addictive to most... assuming they live. That would be fine, so long as the dish could be reasonably finished, except for the tendency of this flan to be somewhat sentient, among other things.   From a 'personality' perspective, it appears to come in 2 forms:
  • When made with Benign: it will attempt to do what it was created for, which is to say, feed the hungry. There are a few problems with this, as it also hyper-regenerates. It will attempt to stuff itself into its target's mouth, regardless of its need to breathe, often causing them to suffocate.
  • When made with Malign: It will attack if it senses your hunger, but it will not try to feed itself to you, but instead it will try to consume you. This variant has the ability to break down most materials and is similar to a slime. It does not mind being eaten either, it simply... eats back, which makes eating it even harder and is honestly a bad idea. If left in contact with it for long enough, it will begin to dissolve organic matter, so it can and will eventually eat you if left unattended.
Both variants can sense hunger, hyper-regenerate, and seek to be eaten. Their regeneration makes them difficult to consume, and one must either manage to eat them in their entirety within seconds, destroy them completely in a single strike, or wait for their innate magic supply (which doubles as their life force) to dissipate. The latter is difficult due to the small amounts of divinity involved in their creation.   These creatures seem unable to digest glass, clay, or metal, so these are great for containing them, assuming you can approach them without them attaching to you.   Diameter: 0.4 meters   Height: 0.1 meters   Weight: 1.2 kilograms  
It is dessert... it just... eats back
Lunalee
Some number of years ago, Kranjax and Lunalee created a guide on how to deal with these creatures. It seems they captured and studied one for quite some time.


Cover image: by Kranjax via Midjourney

Comments

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Oct 7, 2024 14:45 by LexiCon (WordiGirl)

spooky! the cover already looks creepy and I indeed would NOT want to eat that lol but reading the article is even more horrifying. thanks for sharing!

Oct 9, 2024 07:53 by Kerry

You're welcome. This is a dish that should NOT be shared... or made... for that matter

Oct 8, 2024 22:05

This is hilarious! I can think of a few good uses for it. ;)

Oct 9, 2024 07:53 by Kerry

I'm glad you enjoyed it I have a few uses too lol ...and all of them would be frowned upon

Oct 9, 2024 18:43

Can't please everyone. LOL!

Oct 10, 2024 06:23 by Kerry

It's frowned upon in the world