Sburb Tools, Alchemiter

Alchemiter, the Printer that prints Alchemical items for Sburb.
Alchemy in Homestuck is metaphorical, as is pretty much everything else in Sburb. The literal nature of things is of minor importance, whereas the metaphorical use or symbolic meaning is extremely influential.
Example:
A crystal ball is literally nothing more than a carved rock and not interesting. The symbolism behind it, however, says that it allows someone to see the future, or see another place in the present or past, without technology or personal visibility being required. So, a "crystal ball" is a magical seeing device.
A top hat is literally nothing more than a hat. The symbolism behind it though, is complex. It is easily seen by many people as dapper and fancy, increasing the charisma of whoever is wearing one. Also, top hats are props used in some common 'magic tricks', such as pulling a rabbit or bouquet of flowers out of a hat. So, a "top hat" is a device that increases your charisma and grants the wearer the ability to magically summon small living things, and makes you more attractive.
With both items combined into one, this could easily be a crystal top hat, giving the ability to see other locations in the present, past, or future, summon something small and living from there to the wearer's current location instantly, and also increase the mage's attractiveness to anyone that sees them.
Probably a valuable hat. This value would be reflected in the item's Grist cost! Because it does multiple things, it probably also requires multiple types of Grist, some are probably rare.
The Alchemiter prints from dowels carved by the Totem Lathe. The dowel has the combined information of both of these items, turning their symbolism into magical enchantments and combining them physically as well.
If there isn't enough Grist to print the item, it won't be created. It also doesn't tell anyone what the amounts or types of Grist an item needs! That's listed elsewhere.