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Terraforming

" As i stepped down from the passenger hold of the shuttle, i was immediately struck by the cool winds of Mars upon my face. But they felt comfortable, unlike what would have happened half a millenia ago, when just stepping outside without adequate protection would be fatal to us. But after centuries of delicate terraforming, Mats had finally become our first true home outside Terra and Inaria." Lorann sanguinus meros, talking about his experiences on visiting Mars, by then terraformed by mankind

Terraforming is the act of transforming a world which is initially hostile to the biology of a sentient species, to a world that is habitable by them. In its most popular usage, terraforming refers to planets, moons and other celestial bodies being transformed from hostile, uninhabitable worlds to worlds that are just as habitable as Terra for humans. It can be undertaken in two forms, scientifically and with the usage of Void energy based terraforming, with the latter being mostly used in present times due to it being far more faster. It has tremendously aided mankind, with almost every world being terraformable, mankind now has the ability to claim practically every last planet and moon that exists out there in the milky way galaxy.

Famous celestial bodies that were terraformed

Mars
Venus
Mercury
Luna
The four galilean moons
Rhea
Iapetus
Tethys
Titan
Oberon
Titania

Discovery

Scientific terraforming has its roots mostly in nineteenth and twentieth century chemistry, physics and biology as well as other scientific subjects. Void based terraforming however, was developed in the late 23rd century by a team which included Hans Jurgen Kürsch, Aiden Tallorann, Soras Valcoran and Augustus Ludwig.

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Entry for Summer Camp 2019

Answering: "Describe a major technological breakthrough and the impact it had in your world."

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Credit for the cover artwork goes to https://www.deviantart.com/fishytree. Original url is https://www.deviantart.com/fishytree/art/Terraformed-moon-780908270 Credit for the second artwork goes to https://www.deviantart.com/iljackson Credit for the third artwork goes to https://www.deviantart.com/rainbow-colors Credit for the fourth artwork goes to https://www.deviantart.com/derbz Credit for the fifth artwork goes to https://www.deviantart.com/77mynameislol77 Credit for the sixth artwork goes to https://www.deviantart.com/liangkai

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Journeyman TheirGraceGrace

Jul 5, 2019 05:20 by TheirGraceGrace

Hello...it's me...I was wondering if you're ready to get some feedback on your article from your friendly neighbourhood feedback wizard? I'll assume that's a yes. I enjoy the structure of this article a lot! The pictures and quotes help denote the ends of certain sections and headings, which means that I can take the time to enjoy an image before moving on to the next section of the article. The liberal use of pictures also means that it feels less like a wikipedia article and more like an illustrated encyclopedia. Which is an amazing thing and fairly rare around here! I have a question about the formatting: how did you get the pictures and text to take up the empty space where the sidebar should be? I'm really jealous of that! I'd keep an eye on proofreading for your articles. There's enough of them that I don't have time to list them all, but a good proofreading before you send them in is always a good choice. I would also like to marvel at the surface of Mats by the way :) (first quote) I have a question I'll leave you with before I go: has there ever been a terraforming mission that has gone completely awry? Like "rocks-fall-everyone-dies" levels of failure? What did the humans learn from that experience, if anything? Anyways, I'm going to get more into space now, so byeeeeeee :)

Eternal Sage Stormbril

Jul 5, 2019 06:33 by Stormbril

I really enjoyed this article Blood! You did a great job of making all of the information interesting, while providing a whole lot of it. And as I said on Discord, great images to use! A small little thing that might enhance the images more would be to maybe center align them, and then force them to be the same width. I have to admit, space related writing is not my area of expertise! I've always enjoyed sci fi, but I'm no expert on critiquing sci fi content. I can just let you know what I like though, and offer up questions that have arisen :) First off, Void Based Terraforming sounds absolutely badass. It's a really interesting way of getting energy for the process; a process which I understand requires INSANE energy! I love how much of the article was put towards the history of discovering this Void Energy source. I'd love maybe an additional article, or maybe a bit of extra info in this one, showing a step by step process of what terraforming via void energy is like. As for formatting, that IS something I'm pretty competent in! To begin with, you've done a great job with formatting this article at a base level. I like the way you brought in the remaining info below both the side bar, and the main column of info at the top. It's a smart way of doing things! I'd maybe extend the sidebar a bit more if I were you, and put some more secondary info into it, or shift things around, but that might be just my opinion. I again also think that you might benefit from using BBCode columns! It's a great way to add in more headers, and break up your information. In particular, second last article "Discovery of Void Based Terraforming" -- this section is rather large, and has multiple paragraphs that are similar in length. Why not break it up a bit, and add in a couple more smaller (h2 or h3) headers to it? And finally, as Charles suggested, a good proofread would benefit this article greatly! It's already a fantastic piece to begin with, and cleaning up any of the little spelling/grammar mistakes will only make it shine brighter. Great job Blood! It's amazing to see how much you improve with every article. I just now realize I havent yet followed your world; so with that, I'll leave a follow, and look forward to the next piece!

Cathedris, the world of God-husks and New Magic, welcomes you.

You have been invited to apply to the Veiled Academy...

Venerable Grandmaster Qurilion

Jul 5, 2019 10:37

You wanted a big chunk of feedback, so here it is. :) Lots of neat details. Well done.

" As i stepped down from the passenger hold of the shuttle, i was immediately struck by the cool winds of Mars upon my face.

Two i's that should be capitalized here. If you really want to get nitpicky, you could shorten the first sentence to "shuttle" or "shuttle landing platform" as what they step off. If you wish to wage war on adverbs, you could remove "immediately" as well. A lot of authors advice against using them unless absolutely necessary. In general, try to say as much as you can with as few words as possible. In this case, is the fact that he came from the passenger hold relevant? Does the quote lose its meaning if the reader does not have that piece of information? Adverbs is more about taste, but it comes down to "show, don't tell". In this case, it would likely be reasonable to assume the wind would be immediate if he was in fact struck by them.

But they felt comfortable, unlike what would have happened half a millenia ago, when just stepping outside without adequate protection would be fatal to us.

In the same vein, there's some fat you can trim from this one - words that don't really help bring your point across and just add to the count. In this case, much of the middle part. Additionally, I wouldn't call "immediate fatality" something "uncomfortable". Consider what you want to say and what is necessary to say it. In this case, it would likely be the contrast between Mars's previous lethality and its current hospitality, I imagine. Also, are you using US or UK English?

But after centuries of delicate terraforming, Mats had finally become our first true home outside Terra and Inaria."

You start two sentences with "But" here. Typically, you want to avoid starting sentences the same as the repetition is very noticeable. The buts in both sentences are also kind of superfluous and you could probably cut them without losing anything. It comes back to the previous point, "does word reinforce the story I am trying to tell? Is it necessary". As the great William Strunk Jr. said, "Omit needless words." Also, you've misspelled Mars in that sentence as Mats.

Terraforming is the act of transforming a world which is initially hostile to the biology of a sentient species, to a world that is habitable by them.

Same here - "initially" isn't really required and only muddle the water. That it is hostile is enough, initially or otherwise. You also have a comma after species which is not really require and only add an odd pause where there doesn't need to be one. I also wouldn't call it an "act", as that kind of suggests a certain immediacy. We don't call building a skyscraper an "act", for instance.

In its most popular usage, terraforming refers to planets, moons and other celestial bodies being transformed from hostile, uninhabitable worlds to worlds that are just as habitable as Terra for humans.

Is there an unpopular usage of the term? I would consider rewriting that slightly. "Common" would likely be a better word than popular, though this sentence suggests that there's some other kind of terraforming, but it isn't clear that this would be. I don't see any mention of some other type in the rest of the article. Is there? If not, consider clarifying the part.

It can be undertaken in two forms, scientifically and with the usage of Void energy based terraforming, with the latter being mostly used in present times due to it being far more faster.

Again, you can probably trim some excess words here without losing any information. "Terraforming comes in two forms, either technological or through the use of Void energy manipulation." for instance. The second bit about it being faster could be its own sentence, since together they are a bit long. What makes a sentence long? Well, in this case it is 33 words. My wordcounter program tells me that an average speaker will take 11 seconds to say that, in one breath. Try it: take a sentence you've written and read it out loud to yourself. Another thing that makes a sentence long or feel complex is the density of ideas. When possible, you want each sentence to convey one or two ideas for maximum clarity. Three in a pinch, but it should not be the standard. When we talk about ideas, we talk about concept and information being relayed. In that case, there are three: that terraforming comes in two forms, what they are, and that one is faster than the other. Personally, I try to keep to around 25-27 as a maximum for a single sentence but preferably shorter.

It has tremendously aided mankind, with almost every world being terraformable, mankind now has the ability to claim practically every last planet and moon that exists out there in the milky way galaxy.

This is another example of that. The ideas communicated here are: 1. Terraforming has aided mankind, 2. almost every world can be terraformed, man kind can claim everything in the galaxy. Many of these are pretty easy to fix though. In this case, just end the sentence after terraformable. Let the rest stand as another sentence.

Scientifically speaking, terraforming has its roots in mostly 19th and 20th century chemistry, physics and biology. The basic principles are quite easy to understand, as the most basic ideas are rooted in common chemistry, physics and biology.

I'm not sure I would call planar geo-engineering "basic", unless the 19th century science in your setting is significantly more advanced than ours. You also repeat that sentence in the Discovery part of the article, almost word for world. Is that the case? Is scientific progress much faster in this setting than in our world? The same principles apply on the rest of the article. Hopefully that will help.

Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and man y o the rs.

Colombus

Jul 5, 2019 17:35

I like the idea, and I think this is a clever way of giving humankind the possibility of transforming worlds into their owns, which I hope would lead to an infinite amount of sci-fi possibilities. There is only one thing I feel like it missing though: How is this actually achieved? Are there huge material-dumbing machines involved or does it all happen from a station orbiting the body? How is he void energy used to power these machines?

Venerable Master barriesaxxy

Jul 6, 2019 05:02 by Marjorie Ariel

This article is an immersive experience! Not only do the pictures make it feel like I'm reading a "real" article, but reading with the music playing in the background adds an additional layer (and the theme fits the content too.) I really like how were able to express so much about your world with one article. Not only do I know the history of terraforming (and that this is a sci-fi world that likely has lots of planets), I also know that there are apparently demons! And between that and controversies over terraforming, I can easily imagine where conflicts might arise for characters. Good work!

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Lokrow

Jul 6, 2019 13:56 by Lokrow

Wow reading this with the music is really the most awesome feeling. I think that particular piece and the pictures were a very nice touch to give the words an extra sense of scale that a topic like this deserves. I only scrunched my nose once when reading that terraforming stems from basic scientific concept he first time round, I wonder if this is because of the perspective they now have on the past? Having now fully developped two approaches to terraforming, one of which being clearly way more magical-feeling compared to the other, it would make some sense if they looked at the idea of sticking CO2 factories on Mars as basic ideas ^^ Also I absolutely love the line "fucking hellish bitches".

Terraforming

Entry for Summer Camp 2019

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