Colqurt the Frumpish
Colqurt Fladdnip Zarooniep Eedummum (a.k.a. Colkurt the Frumpish, Qurt the Haphazard, Fladdnip the Unkempt, Gnolumbo)
Physical Description
General Physical Condition
Above all else, in appearance he is persistently disheveled. His deeply unkempt hair is so dark purple that almost black. He has bushy square eyebrows. He wears a grey trenchcoat (of course he does), with tons of pockets bulging with stuff of varying utility, and he does a bad job of keeping track of what's where. He virtually always has a cigar in his mouth, but it's rarely lit.
Mental characteristics
Personal history
Well, I grew up out there in Kreeport. When I was little my mom wasn’t around (she went off to be an adventurer or somesuch), and my father was a tinkerer and a clockmaker and a creator of small mechanical toys. He really wanted me to follow in his footsteps, but, well, you know, I was a disappointment to my father in many, many ways. I fell in with some friends, well, let’s just say that their entrepreneurial ventures didn’t always comport with local rules and regulations. They appreciated that I was clever and small and quick and taught me some things about their trade. Short story too long, I spent some time in the hoosegow, the clapper, the clink. It didn’t really agree with me too well, I wasn’t a fan. I spent my time trying to hone other, more useful skills than picking pockets and locks, and discovered I had a real knack for noticing small details and figuring things out. When I got out, my old friends wanted me to continue my employment with them, but I was really deeply disinterested in going back to jail again. So, unfortunately I burned some bridges out there and having no real ties, I headed out west, figuring I could get a new start here in Azuros. I've been here a few years now.
Education
No formal education. Cliche as it may sound, what I know I learned from the streets of the Vralluthian Trade Hub, and of course the Vralluthian Prison System.
Employment
Well, funny story. I’ve been here for a few years, now, and I’ve been able to cobble together a living helping people gather information and figure things out on an independent consultant basis. The Goblins were particular patrons of mine, and employed me consistently to find information about their enemies (and their allies). They found it useful to have an outside operator conduct investigations on their behalf. It was enjoyable work, and it kept my fingers out of strangers’ pockets, and my personage out of prison.
They recently employed me to help find out the source of some accounting discrepancies, they thought somebody in middle-management might be skimming off the top or something. Unfortunately for me, I found that the person doing the skimming was the son of the Boss Goblin. Well, let’s just say that led to a series of nasty accusations about me and my loyalties, and I didn’t get paid for that job, and they are unlikely to employ me in any others, at least for the time being. Which really is too bad, because they were a hellofa lot of fun to work for. So, my current prospects are not great, my coin purse is looking a little anemic, and my old picking fingers are getting itchy. But I really would prefer to stay on the right side of the local constabulary, so I’m hoping to get a new job soon. Would you, ah, happen to know any rich merchants who suspect their young wives of being adulterous?
Accomplishments & Achievements
I'm proud of some real corkers of mysteries I've solved. You understand if I can't say too much about it, I promised to keep it confidential. Even if the Goblins are presently pretty upset with me, I don't want to completely burn that bridge. But, we told the guard about this one time, so I guess I can tell you. There was Goblin lieutenant was assassinated in the street, and everybody was convinced it was the Dwarves, and it turned out to be his jealous mistress! Very sordid. Ah, good times.
Failures & Embarrassments
Well, I'm not proud of the way I handled the thing about the Boss's son. I should've looked the other way and said the case was unsolvable. I'm also embarrassed that I got caught breaking into a noble's house back in Kreeport, which got me sent up the river for so many years. That was just sloppy.
Personality Characteristics
Motivation
More than anything else, I want to stay out of jail. I'm worried that if I don't get some work soon, I'm going to put myself in a position where that's a distinct possibility. I hope it doesn't come to that. I love to sink my teeth into a good mystery, and I really relish the satisfaction of a good solve. Other than that, I'd just like to keep my coin purse full, and my contacts and connections happy and friendly.
Savvies & Ineptitudes
He is affable and charmingly bumbling. He is constantly patting his pockets looking for his flint and steel so he can light his cigar, but often failing to find them, or absentmindedly forgetting to keep looking. This isn't because he's dumb, but it's because his deeply intelligent mind is churning through a thousand different ideas and theories and facts and clues all the time. It is an "absent-minded professor" situation with him. He disarms people (socially, not in combat) with his unassuming, bumbling demeanor, but he never misses any tiny detail or clue. He is fundamentally disorganized and rumpled, but he is clean and not dirty or stinky.
“Oh, well, um, you know, I, ah, [clears throat] yes." "Just one more question, I, ah, don't wanna take up too much of your time . . ."
Likes & Dislikes
Likes: Sinking his teeth into a good mystery, solving puzzles, having coin in his pocket, a good ale, and a good cigar.
Dislikes: The police, snitches, and most of all going to jail.
Social
Contacts & Relations
He has the "Criminal Connections" feat, so he has deep connections with all number of underworld and shady folks, including, I'm sure, the Shadow Rats. He also still has a number of connections with the Goblins, relationships he's actively trying to rehabilitate. He has connections and confidential informants with the other major factions and embassies. He keeps a wide variety of people happy with favors and coin and mutual back-scratching and intelligence-peddling.
Family Ties
None. His dad (a tinkerer in Kreeport) effectively disowned him when he went off to jail, and he hasn't seen his mom (an itinerant adventurer) since he was a child. But they're both probably still alive out there somewhere.
Religious Views
"Morality and philosophy" above isn't fillable, so I'll give it to you here, too. He's Chaotic Neutral. He's selfish. He believes in himself and his friends. He doesn't look to outside forces, (e.g. government, the gods) to help him, and he expects those things to not get in his way. Classic bullshit Libertarian. He doesn't want to hurt people if he can help it, but he doesn't particularly give a shit about them unless doing so can help himself or his friends or otherwise be of use. He is actively (though not necessarily openly) disdainful of law enforcement, nobility, and government officials. It's not that he doesn't believe in the gods, it's that they aren't much use to him, and doesn't bother with them.
Hobbies & Pets
No pets. No real hobbies. He spends his "free time" doing much of what he does while he's at "work." He hangs out at pubs chatting with his contacts, and, if luck would have it, making new ones. He legitimately likes and is interested in people, and you never know who might be the next informant or client.
Age
150
Children
Gender
Neutral
Eyes
light green eyes
Hair
deeply unkempt purple hair so dark it's almost black
Skin Tone/Pigmentation
medium-tone skin
Height
3" 2'
Weight
100 pounds
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