The Waffle War
Often in political marriages, the hearts and feelings of the people that are involved are not taken into account and are instead sacrificed in the name of political expediency. This can lead to a sense of loneliness, and later to love affairs that can be embarrassing on a national scale. Thus it was just weeks ago when the current King of Saxony, Harold X, and his lovely wife Helga visited Aquitaine. There they met with King Charles VIII and his equally lovely wife Claire to begin sorting out a trade treaty.
Helga, trapped in a loveless marriage with a King she simply did not understand became smitten with the Charles, who, bedazzled by her beauty and vulnerable through his own low and well disguised self esteem issue was equally flattered by her attention that, for him, went beyond the affections given to him by women because of his station. King Harold of Saxony, meanwhile was so busy with the matters of state that he didn't notice the looks that the two were exchanging. Queen Claire also was disinterested in her own husband, and distracted with not so pious thoughts of High Priest Caladeaux who had been cultivating her interest and ear for over 5 years for his own political ends.
It was inevitable that Helga would end up in Charles' bedchambers, secretly smuggled in during the early morning hours by discrete palace staff. Under normal circumstance the staff would keep quiet about such things but apparently Helga was quite vocal. Vocal enough to be heard well outside the chambers by staff that were less discrete on the matter.
It is often been questioned what exactly is the fastest thing in the world. Some say that it is the Cheetah on land, or perhaps a stooping hawk in the air, or a dolphin in the water. These, in fact, are all wrong. The fastest thing in the universe is, in fact, a salacious rumor, which apparently can be heard in the far reaches of Thuringia at the same time that it reaches a Kings ear in Aquataine.
By the time that Harold heard the rumor, both Charles and Helga were redressed and entering the room wisely from two different entrances, just as Harold was being served his morning plate of waffles with fresh maple syrup and melting clotted cream. He sat as still as a stalking cat, staring straight forward, face slowly reddening until his hand reached down and grabbed one of those waffles from a plate, butter, syrup and all.
It is here the author should note that in fact the second fastest object in the universe is a flying spinning maple syrup covered waffle, which, when thrown with a move like a rabies infected ninja managed to impact both Helga, and Charles in the face simultaneously on either side of the room.
and thus, Saxony and Aquataine are now at war, and Queen Helga has been forcibly transported home and is imprisoned in Londinium.
Helga, trapped in a loveless marriage with a King she simply did not understand became smitten with the Charles, who, bedazzled by her beauty and vulnerable through his own low and well disguised self esteem issue was equally flattered by her attention that, for him, went beyond the affections given to him by women because of his station. King Harold of Saxony, meanwhile was so busy with the matters of state that he didn't notice the looks that the two were exchanging. Queen Claire also was disinterested in her own husband, and distracted with not so pious thoughts of High Priest Caladeaux who had been cultivating her interest and ear for over 5 years for his own political ends.
It was inevitable that Helga would end up in Charles' bedchambers, secretly smuggled in during the early morning hours by discrete palace staff. Under normal circumstance the staff would keep quiet about such things but apparently Helga was quite vocal. Vocal enough to be heard well outside the chambers by staff that were less discrete on the matter.
It is often been questioned what exactly is the fastest thing in the world. Some say that it is the Cheetah on land, or perhaps a stooping hawk in the air, or a dolphin in the water. These, in fact, are all wrong. The fastest thing in the universe is, in fact, a salacious rumor, which apparently can be heard in the far reaches of Thuringia at the same time that it reaches a Kings ear in Aquataine.
By the time that Harold heard the rumor, both Charles and Helga were redressed and entering the room wisely from two different entrances, just as Harold was being served his morning plate of waffles with fresh maple syrup and melting clotted cream. He sat as still as a stalking cat, staring straight forward, face slowly reddening until his hand reached down and grabbed one of those waffles from a plate, butter, syrup and all.
It is here the author should note that in fact the second fastest object in the universe is a flying spinning maple syrup covered waffle, which, when thrown with a move like a rabies infected ninja managed to impact both Helga, and Charles in the face simultaneously on either side of the room.
and thus, Saxony and Aquataine are now at war, and Queen Helga has been forcibly transported home and is imprisoned in Londinium.
Conflict Type
War, Theatre
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