A Trip into The House

Recently, something strange has happened to a friend of mine. I'm sure this is not something that I will forget easily, but in case I grow old and my memory starts to fade, I will at least have this as a backup. However, I hope it will not come to that.

The strange thing is not that Dorian was able to travel to The House. He does that fairly often, more than he should in all honesty; he went there and met a god. Now, meeting a spirit would not have been suprising nor would have meeting a demon. A god, however, is another story.

Dorian pushed past me the moment I opened the door.

"What's wrong, my friend?" I asked, hurriedly following him into my office, where he had picked up several of my books and read through them so quickly I doubt he was able to understand anything. "Dorian, I would like to at least know why you're destroying my bookshelf." I said, picking up the books he threw carelessly on the floor.

He shook his head, "You're not going to care about your books after you hear about The House."

"What about The House?" I asked, not really thinking anything was wrong. How foolish I was. Dorian shook his head, panic starting to set in on his face, "I need to tell you something."

I sat down, crossed my arms, and waited.

Dorian told me he had traveled to The House about three months ago and had a strange encounter. One that he has not had since. He told me he came to me since I am the more proficient magic-user, particularly in this area. He told me that he was sure it was a god, and not some spirit or demon who had somehow called up an illusion.

You see, future me (if you do not remember how The House works), The House is where magic-users gain knowledge and wisdom with a price, of course. The House is divided into many Rooms, each room offering something different. In The House, there are bodies, but none that are alive. The only seen living things are sprits and demons, and they cannot touch you. There is also The Cosmos, where the deities live, but that is something entirely different.

Dorian, however, claimed he had seen a Body, and that this Body talked to him, called his name, even. This Body had walked up to him and touched him. I did not know how this was possible, and neither did he. As he continued, I saw his hands start to shake and sweat appear on his forehead.

He swore to me the Body was alive. He said it would have made more sense if the Body had appeared in one of the Rooms, but it did not. He said the Body appeared to him in the Entrance. The Entrance is not even a room. The Entrance offers no wisdom or cost to the body, soul, or sprit. It is simply a resting place. A place for the user to gather his spirit and soul before entering The House. It is a place of transition, where the physical meets the magical, where the corporeal meets the spiritual.

Dorian stands up and starts pacing back and forth. He sits down and rubs his hands together before standing back up.

I wait patiently for him, anxious to see how this dream ends.

Eventually, Dorian sits down in front of me, and leans forward, "Ferin," he whispers, "I tell you, it was a god. A god from the Cosmos."

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Oct 13, 2023 05:03

Very good I think this was much better than what we had earlier when they met.   but I think this part was the weakest Dorian told me he had traveled to The House about three months ago and had a strange encounter. One that he has not had since. He told me he came to me since I am the more proficient magic-user, particularly in this area. He told me that he was sure it was a god, and not some spirit or demon who had somehow called up an illusion.   The reason why is because i think the word travels implies physical movement which is not the case, and I think that he might not be so desperate to look through the books if it were months ago unless what he saw was coming at him in a more extreme manner. For example maybe when he sleeps the thing pulls him into the house or makes some demand or something.   But the parts where you mention the cosmology I feel like are a bit rushed and have that flaw of being that kind of theater play exposition. You know where one character says "As you know this happened" and the other person as "And as you know it affected this in this way." I think if we were going to do that kind of thing it would be more effective as a scene where Ferin is studying or about to do his lucid dreaming to enter The House.   And also in terms of the end saying it was a god from the cosmos feels a little technical. Maybe we should make a term for them like The Great Ones or something. Also I think that outright saying it was a god from the cosmos is a little heavy handed and assumes too much. Especially if it is breaking the rules of the universe as to be of concern then it should be something they spend more time investigating. Kind of like how Gandalf went on an investigation for years to confirm whether or not Frodo had the one ring until one night he comes back having the knowledge for the final test and put it in fire to see if the markings showed up. So we should develop it some more before jumping to things, especially since this is more like a lovecraft sort of genre... at least similar in some respects and since these are not wizards with fireball or levitation or the kinds of D&D or World of Warcraft powers you may think of then it is a story that lends itself to a slow burn rather than being so quick.   Also as a side note about setting we discussed having a city or a nation which would have some cosmos worship going on so that could be an adventure and story going there in and of itself.

Oct 13, 2023 12:16 by Jacqueline Yang

Yeah, the three months thing, I originally had it at "last night Dorian had a strange encounter...." but then I remember you had said it takes a long time to travel across land, so I thought, "Oh, maybe three months would be better."   Oh, I guess the slow burn makes sense, but does this at least work as a base?

Oct 14, 2023 02:15

It does, I am pleased looking at this compared to what we had