Battle of Buffoonery

Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash

This battle is named for the unlikely seeming events that preceded it and the almost comedic onslaught of tactical errors that it involved. The minimal death toll and brevity of the siege has made it a widespread joke in society, King Faro becoming a much mocked and derided figure. Tragically, this derision is said to have been the catalyst for Faro's hobby of massacring small communities in his later years. Instead of this improving reputation, he left a legacy of petty incompetence.   

The Conflict

Prelude

The events that predicated the siege are highly indicative of the entire tone of the Battle of Buffoonery. King Faro had entered in an agreement to marry off his daughter to the son of A neighboring King, Sar. Unbeknownst to him, Sar's son was already married at the time. According to the tradition of the neighboring kingdom, a consort that does not provide a child within five years of a relationship was put to death in a traditional ceremony before the new bride, in order to facilitate monogamous relationships and the propagation of the royal line..

When Faros daughter arrived at the palace and discovered that Sar II was already married, she sent word to her father, completely ignorant of the local tradition.  

Deployment

Upon hearing the knew Faros flew into a rage and marched his armies to the palace. In his haste, he directed them to skirt any pockets of resistance and make their was directly to the capital city. Despite their misgivings, his armies did exactly that. Misunderstanding the cause of the siege, Sar and his son decided to hold the ceremony in view of the army.

Instead of recognizing this as a means to facilitate his daughters marriage to Sarr II, Faros viewed this as a threat to her life and poisoned the cities main well. However, he neglected to remember that his armies where drinking from the same water source. Additionally, due to their path directly to the palace, they had no been able to create a clear transport chain for food and army provisions. 

Needless to say, the entire battle lasted little over a month and was resolved when Faros, army ill and starving entered the city and had the whole situation explained to him. Mollified, he and his army retreated immediately. 

Conflict Type

Siege

Start Date

09/05/6803

Ending Date

31/06/9803