Alumlar Blurnslime

Irreproachable Alumlar Blurnslime (a.k.a. Mr. Blurnslime)

I do hope sir can recall the reason for his visit to this private lab, or sir may have his evening very badly spoiled by the allossection array. It is that articulated object unfolding from the ceiling behind sir.

— Mr. Blurnslime, speaking with an intruding student in his lab.

Mr. B. is a wizard of extreme dryness and fussiness whose only true passion is for bureaucracy. He can be recognized for his prim, almost foppish garb, his utterly disinterested expression, and his ingratiating politeness which almost conceals his true attitude.

Mental characteristics

Education

Mr. Blurnslime earned his C.W. in 2244 from Knottedham College, Bolry, and moved to the Tower of Infinite Stucco for his graduate schooling under Retrograde Donny. Blurnslime received his Tru Wiz diploma in 2248, and became a tenured professor the same year.

Employment

Mr. Blurnslime has dedicated his career to the edification of academic bureaucracy and to the achievement of greater student safety. His was a great influence in the redoubling of efforts to obfuscate and complicate the application process at all levels of the admissions process to enrage and thus eliminate unsuitable candidates. He also has been instrumental in codifying academic administration processes. Finally, he spends a large portion of his time on semi-secret research in his favored field, that of divination.

Intellectual Characteristics

Mr. Blurnslime is unflappable, methodical, efficient, and unencumbered with evident passions. This composure comprises what he pronounces the ideal intellectual state for safe spellcrafting. Blurnslime also shows some of the traits of a long-time divinator, with occasional failures of causal distinction or temporal misidentification, but he seems to have the more confusing symptoms under control.

Morality & Philosophy

Blurnslime avowedly values precision, decorum, and etiquette over all else, as witnessed in his dress and mannerisms.

Personality Characteristics

Likes & Dislikes

Hits: Overcast days, tight orderliness, polite detachment, boiled eggs with mustard, red sherry. Misses: Direct sunlight, physical or psychological clutter, indecent candidness, dry wines.

Social

Contacts & Relations

Mr. B. seems to maintain written correspondence with essentially every research wizard of note in the Crotch, though it's unclear what he has so much to say about.

Family Ties

Blurnslime doesn't seem to have any family. He's been a bachelor all his life, and he's been away from his family (if he has one) since he first appeared at Knottedham with a small suitcase and a sack of gold. He is not known to travel except for important conferences, eschewing even field research since his C.W. capstone. If Alumlar has any family, he quite isolates them from his professional and personal life.

Mannerisms

He borders on foppishness and simpering ingratiating in his interpersonal contacts, always relying on a thick buffer of polite detachment to diffuse aggressive or inconvenient conversational forays on the part of his interlocutor. Talking to him about something in which he has no personal interest has been described as "similar to grasping at eels in a butter vat". Such experience is had by those who attempt to interrogate him on his history, family, personal life, or emotions.

Hobbies & Pets

Blurnslime has his grad students maintain for him a large array of experimentation animals, toward which many have credited him with as near a thing to affection as his desiccate dryness can allow. This accusation is, of course, flatly denied by the man himself. His passtimes are imminently practical; in the small hours which he reserves for himself, he enjoys straightening his office, cleaning his instruments, arranging his books, and reading papers from other researchers.

Species

Human

Ethnicity

Criminoid or "Tallboy"

Honorary & Occupational Titles

Dean of Undergraduates, Head of the Divination Department

Year of Birth

2222 F.T. 65 Years old

Birthplace

Unknown. He is cagey on the subject.

Current Residence

Pimento University at Bridebid Coatrack

Eyes

Grey and dull

Hair

Dark grey

Height

5'2"

Weight

130 lbs

Quotes & Catchphrases

"One cannot overstate the value of a protractor to the organization of one's office."
"Such excitement is unfitting for a wizard of your station. Apply the tourniquet and recover your decorum, Ms. Kerning."
"The disorganization of one's thoughts often hastens the end of one's career. Sir will observe that his career will be very short indeed if he continues to become so agitated around explosives of this magnitude."