The Acid River
Who cleans the Acid River?Faila Fezim, Summerstart 18, 1425 PGD
The Blue River Group
FOR more than two weeks now, a group of protesters has blocked off the High Bridge in Lattiway, preventing caravans from crossing. The protesters have identified themselves as members of the Blue River Group, an increasingly popular faction, and say they will keep blocking the bridge until their demands - for the government to commit itself to cleaning the Acid River that flows through Lattiway - are met.
A group of soldiers has already tried to rout the protesters, but they were swiftly beaten up by the protesters, who shouted "No acid in our backyards, or we'll beat up all the guards!"
"For over a thousand years, we haven't been able to fish in the river due to the acid, the soil contamination means we can't grow crops, and acid elementals harass us on a regular basis! The government needs to take responsibility!" Grigor (not his real name), a middle-aged spokesman for the Blue River Group, tells me, as he snaps a halberd in half over his knee.
When asked about the unusual level of strength the protesters displayed, he scoffs. "When you have acid elementals stealing your laundry and it takes weeks for reinforcements to arrive if raiders attack, you get strong quickly."
After a week, a spokesman for the government declared that the government did not have the available budget to continually purify the river, but they would increase diplomatic pressure on the upstream countries to do their part and clean the river. He was then mugged by the protesters.
"That's the same shit they've been spouting for centuries," Grigor grumbles as he collects a 'Blue River toll' from a merchant to let their caravan pass. "They always have enough money to wage wars and build new leisure ships for the government ministers, but never any money to help the southern half of the kingdom survive."
The Acid River
THEAcid River, flowing east from the Mountains of Doom, has been a blight on the land - literally and metaphorically - for over 1400 years. Plants at its shores wilt and die in a matter of days, and nothing survives in its waters except for acid elementals, which frequently travel beyond its shores to harass people. Even worse, the acid corrodes the ground, potentially contaminating nearby rivers as well.
155 years ago, this very thing happened: the Acid River seeped into an underground cave, and a small stream made its way to the Consiple, 10 miles away, where the corrosion ended up collapsing a cliff wall and flooding into its waters. Boats sank, fish and plants died, hundreds of people were injured, and the cleanup ended up costing Denynumma more than 100,000 gp.
Part of the cleanup involved installing special glass plates covering a 5-mile section of the Acid River's northern shore, draining the cave, and then collapsing the cave entirely, to minimize the odds of another flood ever occurring. In a rare collaboration, Kem Badihr laborers helped Yapithila engineers with installing the plates.
Although the Acid River has been around for so long few books even mention what it was like before its existence, there was a time when it was still a regular river, transporting goods and housing fish and birds. So what exactly happened?
Painting of the Consiple, shortly after the Acid River flooded into it in 1270 PGD.
The fall of the Giga-Dragons
THE Mountains of Doom, despite their moniker, are mostly a pleasant place. There's meadows filled with sheep, villages that put whether or not they take kindly to strangers on a sign outside their village, and even the Rolling Rocs, a music group consisting of three Rocs.
How different things were 1428 years ago, at the height of the Museless Era, when the Giga-Dragons terrorized the entire continent of Koglodur from their lairs in the Mountains of Doom. So great was their evil that adventurers, and eventually armies, crossed the oceans to slay them. Sadly, most records of the Giga-Dragon Subjugation Campaigns have been lost to history, and everyone who participated in them died centuries ago. Not that there aren't ways around that, mind you.
"I just want it on the record," Bob says, sitting on his outside throne while a puppy happily gnaws on his right ankle, "that I did not join the campaign to be a hero. Sure, about one in three of us did, but the rest were in it for the money or, like in my case, personal goals."
He sips from a cup of hot chocolate, which seems to vanish as it passes into his skull. "It wasn't bad enough that those bastards ate all the muses, causing centuries of lack of creativity. There were wars fought over paintings so people could feel some kind of inspiration. But no, they had to monopolize the ley lines too."
"Not all magic users were affected equally. The divine spellcasters were fine, and sorcerers drew on their birthright, but many warlocks lived in fear of their patrons being eaten, bards all but ceased to exist, and when they messed with the ley lines, wizards all over the world decided they'd had enough. So I joined the Western Dragon-Killers Army. I was still mortal then, of course," the lich clarifies.
When asked about the Black Giga-Dragon, he shrugs. "I heard some tales of the fight, of course, but I fought the Green Giga-Dragon in the west - or 'the Green', as we called it then, since it took a few decades before enough creativity returned to even name them Giga-Dragons. Bastard had cultists serving it, sacrificing people left and right, and when those ran out, they started with the animals. The things they did... even I have standards. So yes, we gave them a taste of their own medicine. Put their heads on stakes and everything. A good move, in hindsight, because the Green got so angry, it left its lair in the mountains and fought us in the plains, where we could gang up on it more easily. Plus we dismembered it thoroughly afterwards, which I think weakened its dying curse."
The Plains of Madness are known for their eccentric inhabitants, but like Bob says, nothing so bad a few months of etiquette lessons can't compensate. How different it was in the east, where the Black Giga-Dragon met its demise.
The Black Giga-Dragon's curse
WHAT few paintings were made of the Giga-Dragons were made over a hundred years after their deaths, so even those made by participants in the subjugation campaigns are not too reliable when it comes to determining the exact size of them. Fortunately, Bob transcribed his notes into metal to prevent decay.
"We still had enough wizards left alive after the fight to convince the others to gather data," he says, going through the metal sheets some unpaid interns carried up from his archives for him. "By coordinating our spells, we were able to render a few individuals immune to the Green's poison and madness effects, and they measured the body before chopping it up. Let's see... approximate dimensions are 35 feet wide, 70 feet tall at the shoulders, a 250-feet wingspan, and 180 feet from head to tail. If you want more information, you'll have to pay for it."
According to remaining records, the Black was even taller than the Green, and unlike the Green, it was fought in its lair, a snowy swamp high up in the mountains. After a fight that took several hours, it fled to a mountaintop - a fatal mistake, as a ritual that took a hundred druids to cast unleashed a lightning storm even more powerful than anything the Blue could conjure, striking it over and over until it finally died. Unfortunately, the storm could not be contained, and the survivors had to flee without being able to deal with its corpse.
Almost all of the survivors left Koglodur as soon as all five Giga-Dragons had been slain, and bad blood between the locals and the "invaders" meant that no one disposed of the Black's and the White's corpses.
The dwarves of Kem Badihr, who'd been forced to craft jewelry for the Black, were the first to notice something was wrong, when acid started contaminating some of their mines. Although they used acid-proof alloys to keep the contamination mostly at bay, their drinking water ended up slightly contaminated, resulting in decades of sickness. Eventually, though, they developed a resistance, and these days, the endless supply of acid is seen as a boon and used in their smithing and jewelry-making. As such, they have been resistant to demands that they locate and dispose of the Black's corpse, even more so because they still hold a grudge over no one coming to their aid when the Giga-Dragons first began conquering the mountains, before they were Giga.
The Glass Canal
WHAT then of Yapithila, at the foot of the mountains? Surely they must have ample reason to resolve the problem, since they have so few sources of water? Not so much, as it turns out, which is the result of two things: a single elf's flash of inspiration, and a total breakdown in communication.
The second is simple: the Kem Badihr entrance was to the southwest of the Black's lair, meaning the army never encountered them. As such, when Yapithila citizens dared to ask the remnants of the army what had happened to the dwarves, the reaction was "What dwarves?". It was over a hundred years before anyone learned the dwarves had in fact survived the Black, by which time Yapithila had already resolved their water issues.
Which brings us to the first: Naivara Meliscient, a desert elf from a long line of bards. Thirty years after the Black had been slain, the acid had already corrupted the Natzegeka, as the Acid River was previously known, rendering the land around it an increasingly barren wasteland. While inspecting the river, Naivara accidentally dropped her favorite pair of glasses in it, and to her surprise, after she'd managed to retrieve it, the lenses remained unblemished by the acid. Inspiration struck, resulting in Naivara not only becoming one of the first of the post-Giga bards, but also setting into motion an ambitious plan, the Glass Canal.
Although it took several decades to finish, the Yapithilans were able to divert the course of the Acid River into the Glass Canal, where it could no longer damage its surroundings, and allowing them to protect the other rivers that flowed from the mountains. Naivara was made their queen in gratitude, and every ruler since has sought to honor her by fortifying the Glass Canal, ensuring the Acid River has minimum effect on Yapithila.
Dereliction of duty
FURTHER downstream, things get even hazier. Denynumma and Tuturland use the Acid River as a natural border, and both claim the other country should be the one to keep it clean. In Lattiway, the High Bridge, which crosses cliffs high above the Acid River near the western border, is all that connects the north to the south - the southeast side of the country is strategically and economically vulnerable, which is what led to the creation of the Blue River Group.
The river's delta has even been abandoned altogether: no country wants to be held accountable for the Acid Tide, the acidic seawater area that slowly expands over time. Ships from other continents pass well south and north of the Acid Tide, and plans have already been made in Lattiway to build a sea wall to keep the Acid Tide from expanding north, infuriating the Blue River Group.
"They'll spend tens of thousands to protect the wallets of a few rich traders, but abandon the part of the kingdom that actually suffers! And this is what my taxes pay for?" Grigor spits.
"Grampa, you haven't paid taxes in years," a blonde teenager says, taking a break from beating up Contamination Mephits that are trying to steal the protesters' lunch.
"And for good reason!" Grigor yells.
The future
WITH no local solutions or joint operation in sight, it may seem the situation is hopeless. However, the problem of the Acid River may end up resolved the same way the problem of the Giga-Dragons was: by making it someone else's problem. Every year, the Acid Tide spreads a little more, and the other continents have taken notice.
"Yes, I'm still a member of the Shitwatchers organization," Bob says. "I update them periodically on the strange events happening on Koglodur, and in return, I get discounts on several products. Some of them are looking into organizing a cleanup expedition for the Black, but so far, the Acid Tide hasn't affected business enough to justify the expenses."
He gazes at the foothills of the western side of the Mountains of Doom, which look downright hospitable in the afternoon sun - not a single sign indicates the Green met its end about a hundred miles west of here. "Of course, all it takes is one merchant fleet sunk because it veered off-course and its planks got corroded by the Acid Tide, and that could change."
It feels rather morbid, waiting for outsiders to suffer the consequences of our continent's incompetence so they'll step in and force a solution upon us, but it's a millennia-old tradition. Let's just hope no muses have to die this time.
Faila Fezim, Summerstart 18, 1425 PGD
The Blue River Group
FOR more than two weeks now, a group of protesters has blocked off the High Bridge in Lattiway, preventing caravans from crossing. The protesters have identified themselves as members of the Blue River Group, an increasingly popular faction, and say they will keep blocking the bridge until their demands - for the government to commit itself to cleaning the Acid River that flows through Lattiway - are met.
A group of soldiers has already tried to rout the protesters, but they were swiftly beaten up by the protesters, who shouted "No acid in our backyards, or we'll beat up all the guards!"
"For over a thousand years, we haven't been able to fish in the river due to the acid, the soil contamination means we can't grow crops, and acid elementals harass us on a regular basis! The government needs to take responsibility!" Grigor (not his real name), a middle-aged spokesman for the Blue River Group, tells me, as he snaps a halberd in half over his knee.
When asked about the unusual level of strength the protesters displayed, he scoffs. "When you have acid elementals stealing your laundry and it takes weeks for reinforcements to arrive if raiders attack, you get strong quickly."
After a week, a spokesman for the government declared that the government did not have the available budget to continually purify the river, but they would increase diplomatic pressure on the upstream countries to do their part and clean the river. He was then mugged by the protesters.
"That's the same shit they've been spouting for centuries," Grigor grumbles as he collects a 'Blue River toll' from a merchant to let their caravan pass. "They always have enough money to wage wars and build new leisure ships for the government ministers, but never any money to help the southern half of the kingdom survive."
The Acid River
THEAcid River, flowing east from the Mountains of Doom, has been a blight on the land - literally and metaphorically - for over 1400 years. Plants at its shores wilt and die in a matter of days, and nothing survives in its waters except for acid elementals, which frequently travel beyond its shores to harass people. Even worse, the acid corrodes the ground, potentially contaminating nearby rivers as well.
155 years ago, this very thing happened: the Acid River seeped into an underground cave, and a small stream made its way to the Consiple, 10 miles away, where the corrosion ended up collapsing a cliff wall and flooding into its waters. Boats sank, fish and plants died, hundreds of people were injured, and the cleanup ended up costing Denynumma more than 100,000 gp.
Part of the cleanup involved installing special glass plates covering a 5-mile section of the Acid River's northern shore, draining the cave, and then collapsing the cave entirely, to minimize the odds of another flood ever occurring. In a rare collaboration, Kem Badihr laborers helped Yapithila engineers with installing the plates.
Although the Acid River has been around for so long few books even mention what it was like before its existence, there was a time when it was still a regular river, transporting goods and housing fish and birds. So what exactly happened?
The fall of the Giga-Dragons
THE Mountains of Doom, despite their moniker, are mostly a pleasant place. There's meadows filled with sheep, villages that put whether or not they take kindly to strangers on a sign outside their village, and even the Rolling Rocs, a music group consisting of three Rocs.
How different things were 1428 years ago, at the height of the Museless Era, when the Giga-Dragons terrorized the entire continent of Koglodur from their lairs in the Mountains of Doom. So great was their evil that adventurers, and eventually armies, crossed the oceans to slay them. Sadly, most records of the Giga-Dragon Subjugation Campaigns have been lost to history, and everyone who participated in them died centuries ago. Not that there aren't ways around that, mind you.
"I just want it on the record," Bob says, sitting on his outside throne while a puppy happily gnaws on his right ankle, "that I did not join the campaign to be a hero. Sure, about one in three of us did, but the rest were in it for the money or, like in my case, personal goals."
He sips from a cup of hot chocolate, which seems to vanish as it passes into his skull. "It wasn't bad enough that those bastards ate all the muses, causing centuries of lack of creativity. There were wars fought over paintings so people could feel some kind of inspiration. But no, they had to monopolize the ley lines too."
"Not all magic users were affected equally. The divine spellcasters were fine, and sorcerers drew on their birthright, but many warlocks lived in fear of their patrons being eaten, bards all but ceased to exist, and when they messed with the ley lines, wizards all over the world decided they'd had enough. So I joined the Western Dragon-Killers Army. I was still mortal then, of course," the lich clarifies.
When asked about the Black Giga-Dragon, he shrugs. "I heard some tales of the fight, of course, but I fought the Green Giga-Dragon in the west - or 'the Green', as we called it then, since it took a few decades before enough creativity returned to even name them Giga-Dragons. Bastard had cultists serving it, sacrificing people left and right, and when those ran out, they started with the animals. The things they did... even I have standards. So yes, we gave them a taste of their own medicine. Put their heads on stakes and everything. A good move, in hindsight, because the Green got so angry, it left its lair in the mountains and fought us in the plains, where we could gang up on it more easily. Plus we dismembered it thoroughly afterwards, which I think weakened its dying curse."
The Plains of Madness are known for their eccentric inhabitants, but like Bob says, nothing so bad a few months of etiquette lessons can't compensate. How different it was in the east, where the Black Giga-Dragon met its demise.
The Black Giga-Dragon's curse
WHAT few paintings were made of the Giga-Dragons were made over a hundred years after their deaths, so even those made by participants in the subjugation campaigns are not too reliable when it comes to determining the exact size of them. Fortunately, Bob transcribed his notes into metal to prevent decay.
"We still had enough wizards left alive after the fight to convince the others to gather data," he says, going through the metal sheets some unpaid interns carried up from his archives for him. "By coordinating our spells, we were able to render a few individuals immune to the Green's poison and madness effects, and they measured the body before chopping it up. Let's see... approximate dimensions are 35 feet wide, 70 feet tall at the shoulders, a 250-feet wingspan, and 180 feet from head to tail. If you want more information, you'll have to pay for it."
According to remaining records, the Black was even taller than the Green, and unlike the Green, it was fought in its lair, a snowy swamp high up in the mountains. After a fight that took several hours, it fled to a mountaintop - a fatal mistake, as a ritual that took a hundred druids to cast unleashed a lightning storm even more powerful than anything the Blue could conjure, striking it over and over until it finally died. Unfortunately, the storm could not be contained, and the survivors had to flee without being able to deal with its corpse.
Almost all of the survivors left Koglodur as soon as all five Giga-Dragons had been slain, and bad blood between the locals and the "invaders" meant that no one disposed of the Black's and the White's corpses.
The dwarves of Kem Badihr, who'd been forced to craft jewelry for the Black, were the first to notice something was wrong, when acid started contaminating some of their mines. Although they used acid-proof alloys to keep the contamination mostly at bay, their drinking water ended up slightly contaminated, resulting in decades of sickness. Eventually, though, they developed a resistance, and these days, the endless supply of acid is seen as a boon and used in their smithing and jewelry-making. As such, they have been resistant to demands that they locate and dispose of the Black's corpse, even more so because they still hold a grudge over no one coming to their aid when the Giga-Dragons first began conquering the mountains, before they were Giga.
The Glass Canal
WHAT then of Yapithila, at the foot of the mountains? Surely they must have ample reason to resolve the problem, since they have so few sources of water? Not so much, as it turns out, which is the result of two things: a single elf's flash of inspiration, and a total breakdown in communication.
The second is simple: the Kem Badihr entrance was to the southwest of the Black's lair, meaning the army never encountered them. As such, when Yapithila citizens dared to ask the remnants of the army what had happened to the dwarves, the reaction was "What dwarves?". It was over a hundred years before anyone learned the dwarves had in fact survived the Black, by which time Yapithila had already resolved their water issues.
Which brings us to the first: Naivara Meliscient, a desert elf from a long line of bards. Thirty years after the Black had been slain, the acid had already corrupted the Natzegeka, as the Acid River was previously known, rendering the land around it an increasingly barren wasteland. While inspecting the river, Naivara accidentally dropped her favorite pair of glasses in it, and to her surprise, after she'd managed to retrieve it, the lenses remained unblemished by the acid. Inspiration struck, resulting in Naivara not only becoming one of the first of the post-Giga bards, but also setting into motion an ambitious plan, the Glass Canal.
Although it took several decades to finish, the Yapithilans were able to divert the course of the Acid River into the Glass Canal, where it could no longer damage its surroundings, and allowing them to protect the other rivers that flowed from the mountains. Naivara was made their queen in gratitude, and every ruler since has sought to honor her by fortifying the Glass Canal, ensuring the Acid River has minimum effect on Yapithila.
Dereliction of duty
FURTHER downstream, things get even hazier. Denynumma and Tuturland use the Acid River as a natural border, and both claim the other country should be the one to keep it clean. In Lattiway, the High Bridge, which crosses cliffs high above the Acid River near the western border, is all that connects the north to the south - the southeast side of the country is strategically and economically vulnerable, which is what led to the creation of the Blue River Group.
The river's delta has even been abandoned altogether: no country wants to be held accountable for the Acid Tide, the acidic seawater area that slowly expands over time. Ships from other continents pass well south and north of the Acid Tide, and plans have already been made in Lattiway to build a sea wall to keep the Acid Tide from expanding north, infuriating the Blue River Group.
"They'll spend tens of thousands to protect the wallets of a few rich traders, but abandon the part of the kingdom that actually suffers! And this is what my taxes pay for?" Grigor spits.
"Grampa, you haven't paid taxes in years," a blonde teenager says, taking a break from beating up Contamination Mephits that are trying to steal the protesters' lunch.
"And for good reason!" Grigor yells.
The future
WITH no local solutions or joint operation in sight, it may seem the situation is hopeless. However, the problem of the Acid River may end up resolved the same way the problem of the Giga-Dragons was: by making it someone else's problem. Every year, the Acid Tide spreads a little more, and the other continents have taken notice.
"Yes, I'm still a member of the Shitwatchers organization," Bob says. "I update them periodically on the strange events happening on Koglodur, and in return, I get discounts on several products. Some of them are looking into organizing a cleanup expedition for the Black, but so far, the Acid Tide hasn't affected business enough to justify the expenses."
He gazes at the foothills of the western side of the Mountains of Doom, which look downright hospitable in the afternoon sun - not a single sign indicates the Green met its end about a hundred miles west of here. "Of course, all it takes is one merchant fleet sunk because it veered off-course and its planks got corroded by the Acid Tide, and that could change."
It feels rather morbid, waiting for outsiders to suffer the consequences of our continent's incompetence so they'll step in and force a solution upon us, but it's a millennia-old tradition. Let's just hope no muses have to die this time.
I loved this when it was first talked about, and I love it more now that it's done. Just the idea of crotchety old villagers beating the snot out of guards and elementals. That relatable sentiment of "Where are my taxes going?!?"