Aporeu chronicles Issue 15: Internal affairs

Stories from the adventurers

This week

Some idiots are tarnishing the good name of the adventurers guild, and these lovely stories tell how they were found out and caught

Internal affairs by Gwyn

Hello dear readers. Today I, Gwyn Faol’tiarna, will have the pleasure of telling you our latest adventure. This is a tale about meeting new and old companions, about understanding and accepting each other as the way they are and of course clearing up the name of our fine and honest guild. For this purpose I headed towards the room of Mr. Augustus Galeon, and on my way I saw a couple of bickering people. As I heard some rumors about a certain merchant doctor I presumed this was the man was called Dr. V, I was right. He seemed to be bickering with a women of cloth called Ms. Phaedra. Beside them stood a silent man called Mr. Thamior, I like him he doesn't talk much nonsense. And finally, as difficult as it may be, I spot my previous companion Q. He seems to have polished his skills even more, even for me it was difficult to spot him. I introduced myself to them and we headed to the room of Mr. Augustus Galeon, the guy in charge for public relations of the guild. On our way the Dr. V gives a brief statement about us now being friends, companions sharing a mutual cause and with that it being natural for us to trust each other in combat and save each other if need be. I already can say I like this guy, even if it seems as if he could go on an on and on about the useless stuff.
After entering the room of the public relations officer, I am appalled, shocked and angry. We adventurers risk our lives for each penny, while the upper brass lives in luxury. In the room luxurious chairs, grapes, fine wine, and exquisite draperies greet us. As I try to keep a poker face and try to make my distaste unnoticeable Mr. Augustus tells us about certain rumors popping up about members of the adventurers guild. Damned amateurs, if you are going to “reward” yourself, do it discreetly. Yes, the word “discreet” being the major theme for tonight. The blue faced narcissist talks about stuff but I just try to enjoy his wine and grapes for as much as I can and don’t even bother to listen. A certain name of a certain merchant catches my ear while I am enjoying free fruits and drinks, Gafyx. While I hear this name I “accidentally” and out of sheer coincidence take a big swig of the wine, of course for no particular reason. On our way out I take a small bottle of the wine with me, it was just too good for this prick to have for himself. As I happily turn around with a new bottle in my hand I see Dr. V pouring the wine in his emptied waterskin. What a fool I was, I could certainly learn a thing or two from this fellow.
Our party decides to head to the marketplace as a certain individual or group may be spreading certain rumors from the market square. Finally having arrived there we hear a voice screaming out news headers. Coincidentally all the news is about the guild and mainly focuses on “unethical” behavior of its members. How convenient. However, these statements manage to enrage the crowd. While this is happening I join in with the crowd and head towards the origin of the news crier, he seems to be a Halfling. While the crowd gets more and more heated, a certain rumor tends to hit the nerve of our doctor as he decides to speak up for himself and momentarily forgets the theme for tonight. As of now I immediately retract my statement of learning a thing or two from this guy. I decide to wait and see what will happen, hopefully I will no go out in a mob lynch. While the doctor seems to be handling the the situation rather well, a sudden cry of a woman manages to reverse this. She screams some gibberish and yells murder while pointing at Q. She definitely has some loose screws. Things seems to get more serious as this woman yells incriminating accusations at my new and old companions. For this reason I, the illustrious Gwyn, decide to save the day by “arresting” the individuals who have committed crimes using the guilds name and declare that they will be investigated and punished accordingly. They will be charged with the harshest punishment as an example for future adventurers, if need be even executed. Seeing the crowd finally calm a bit down Ms. Phaedra and I leave with our “captives”. Turning a corner we immediately release our companions. While we are busy playing games, Mr. Thamior a man whose words are worth gold suddenly intercepts the Halfling and talks with him for a bit. We suddenly see the Halfling taken aback and rushing somewhere with a crate over his head. Q and I immediately follow the Halfling, very quietly. Having arrived at our destination we notice that this is the house of our lying Halfling. After regrouping with the not so discreet part of our group and informing them of the situation of the Halfling and his sickly mother, my small friend Q and I decide to keep a lookout while the rest of the party enters in order to “aid” said sick mother, hoping that it would garner some trust. However, I still think that we could use a more hands on approach, nevertheless this is not my call to make. To my surprise the doctor turns a corner and a minute later comes back as a different person in order to hide his incriminating identity before entering the humble abode of our lying Halfling friend.
While they were performing a play and claiming to be from the temple of Helm in order to heal the diseased mother and gain the trust of the Halfling, Q and I were keeping a lookout for the place. With my superior vision and amazing senses nothing could escape from my sight. After a while our party leaves and I hear a description of the doctors healing process. Ms. Phaedra does not seem to like it, however I compare it to a tea bag which absorbs the disease, after which the tea bag is removed. My amazing comparison which could even enlighten an infant was immediately desecrated when the Doctor compared it to the vile action of “tea-bagging”. The audacity of some people. However, we gained a crucial piece of information, we learned about a certain individual with metal like skin who approached the Halfling in order to spread these rumors. A bit later Q informed us of a certain lady in black leather who was observing this house from afar. Upon hearing this description my eyes lit up and a smile crept up my face. I could not contain myself from letting my imagination run amok, being perhaps a bit too focused on the black leather part... Q and I being the more discrete part of the group decided to ambush the lovely lady in black leather, but just before that Q snatched a fake adventurers guild badge from said lady. Afterwards while Q brought the rest of the party, I tied the lady in a very “delicate” manner. Her figure was quite nice and the rope accentuated her curves quite nicely. I was enjoying my piece of art when I was disturbed by Q and the rest. While interrogating the lovely lady I thought that she was acting a bit too cocky and dishonest. Even though I had warned the lady to speak the truth, and only the truth. Such a shame for a person with such a nice figure to be a dishonest person. So I tried to persuade the lady, with her own rapier. I do not think that Ms. Phaedra liked my methods, however I do not like my time being wasted. For this reason I gently prick her again in her other foot. Finally we decide to bring the lady back to Augustus and head back to the hideout from the fake adventurers guild. Of which the address was given by the nice lady in black leather.
At the hideout Q and I decide to kick off the ambush while the rest barges in right after. Hopefully we can eliminate the bulk of the fake adventurers as to lessen our burden later on the fight. Suddenly I see one of them slumping in a corner while seeing the reflection of a dagger. It must be Q, oh how I love that little fellow. Such exquisite skill. Nevertheless I also decide to ambush a fellow next to the window, giving him a heavy wound on his shoulder. And then the fight ensues. Mr. Thamior decides to change in a bear and aid us whilst the Doctor uses a nice trident. Not sure what Ms. Phaedra is doing, surely she must have aided us in an utmost crucial way. We again notice one of the unfortunate fake adventurers slumping over, thank you Q. While the Dragonborn decides to spit some fire on us, I gracefully dodge it while the doctor bravely presses on. What a gallant man he is. Finally the bulk of them either being dead or incapacitated the ringleader Elben decided to show up. But what a buffoon he is, he stupidly swings a staff around and blinds himself and afterwards summons a simple illusion. He thinks that can scare me or even anyone in this party. As the doctor said “we are the best of the best”, of course me being the very best. Q makes quick work of his leg causing Mr. Elben to limp away. But Mr. Thamior had other thoughts and instead pinned him very nicely and gracefully, despite him being a bear.
During our interrogation of Mr. Elben he decided to say a very particular sentence, which infuriated me. He bravely or stupidly, you decide which, stated the fact that he is a compulsive liar. And in return I decided to make an example of his right thumb. Which results in a stern warning from Ms. Phaedra. Nevertheless we learn some crucial information from our compulsively lying friend about our mysterious metal skinned suspect. Finally we decided to deliver all of the bodies, be it dead or living, to the guild. However this case is still not closed as we still need to catch the mysterious figure who set this whole operation into motion.

Today we learned that news sources and certain information can be manipulated in any direction, be it in order to cure your diseased mother or in order to slander a certain organisation. Keeping in mind that news sources may be manipulated some sources will indicate me, the amazing Gwyn, receiving a slap from a certain individual. I can certainly tell you that this is not true. It would be preposterous, unimaginable and impossible to slap such a graceful and amazing person as me.
Signed ~ Gwyn Faol’tiarna

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Internal affairs by Pheadra

(In a steady, flowy handwriting) These are the accounts of me, sister Phaedra of the Smiling Lady, ambassador of Lauzea, as a faithful servant of the goddess Aphrodite, who entrusted on me this office and responsibility. These are my personal logs, and should be accounted as such. I am only mortal, and in no way claim to be without fault. Please, do not reflect my personal errors on the goddess, because she is a perfect image of love and beauty I can only strive for, whilst I pale in comparison, flawed as I am in body and soul.

Preface

As I wrote before, I came to this world, Aporeu, through the world-gate that is located at our brother-temple of Apollo near the capital, to ask the adventurer’s guild for aid in the manner of the missing people. However, complications considering the use of the gate on this side seem to have arisen, like when its properties were first recovered at Lauzea some decades ago. This means I am stuck on this side, waiting for mitigation. I have been graciously allowed to make use of all guild accommodations, sober as they may be. So it came to be that I have met some of the adventurers, and tentatively am building up diplomatic relations with them. Although my intent was to stay professional, it is remarkable how fast I have forged a connection with some. Others, however, make me feel uneasy. I am learning a lot about myself here. It is uncanny, how fast the wall I’ve built around myself in the past couple of years, is slowly crumbling down. I thought I had become largely immune about the comments on my mark, but being a new face apparently leads to lots of attention, not all friendly. I have heard different names whispering about me, the worst being ‘rainbow-mold’. What kind of petty heart comes up with something like this?
In any case, I felt obliged to sign up for my first quest, which was to investigate some kind of matter involving some unruly adventurers. Apparently, these people here were in dire need of a competent person. I believed that my input in this mission would be invaluable and that it would mitigate the unrest, and thus forward my own quest. I was never so wrong.
Instead of an accurate retelling, I will focus on my companions and their skills and motivations, as far as I can judge. Assessment of characters and diplomatic opportunities

Augustus Galeon

Augustus is a blue-skinned individual with a permanent breeze blowing around him. He is the guild’s master of public relations. I have not encountered his race before, nor learned proper greetings and manners. However, I immediately dislike the man. His decadence and poor taste reminds me too much of the Inn of Comforts, and I have always hated the place with a passion from the first time I was compelled to go there. Anyway, this man didn’t even have the decency to stand up and greet us, and was just lounging away on one of his sofa’s, offering very expensive wine, which I of course declined. He wanted us to be discreet about the whole mission, but left his windows open while discussing it. Also, the information was pretty vague and left us with not much to go on. – assessment: incompetent.

Q

Q is a kobold, dressed to kill, but he has a very childlike nature. He is very easy to love, even though he has proven remarkably deadly. His sneaking is beyond comprehension, it is as if he is invisible. On all three accounts that I have seen him in action, he was gone almost the instant I had given him the Goddess’ blessing. He goes from rooftop to rooftop, through small nooks and alleys. He is also pretty good at gathering information. He is the one who found out about that poor town criers sick mother, and who spotted the woman on the roof. I didn’t exactly see what happened in the house where the fake adventurers were gathered, but I did see that 2 of them only had one little wound and were beyond saving when I came in. I have to assume it was him. I can’t believe how everyone missed how he took out two very competent-looking individuals in one hit. I was amazed and slightly appalled. When I asked him to go on my quest, he asked me if he could do what he did without restraint. That speaks wisdom. The only fault that I can find regards the market stall incident, which seem to have happened the morning before our investigation and complicated it a lot. – Assessment: Highly competent.

Gwyn

This eloquent half elf seemed to enjoy Augustus’ hospitality way too much. Throughout the quest, he showed himself capable, yet ruthless. I have to admit I thought his plan to ‘arrest’ Q and the Doctor was a good idea at that point, so I went with it. Also, he proved himself capable of sneaking and investigating, although inferior to Q’s skills. When he and Q had captured the lady on the roof, he thought it prudent to stab her foot WHILE SHE WAS BOUND. Forgive me, goddess, but I was livid. I warned him not to do it again, and to expedite the interrogation, I had to use my magic to compel the woman to answer. Later, at the house, he proved to be an adequate fighter. But again, at the interrogation of the charlatan, he managed to CUT HIS FINGER OFF. Afterwards, I hit him square in the face. He had that coming. I severely detest this man’s ruthlessness and calculating nature, but I have to admit his skill. Assessment – competent. Avoid if possible.

Thamior

Thamior is a wood elf druid, who has a calm and friendly nature. He is not easily fazed, and speaks wisdom if he speaks at all. He was the one who suggested the market first, he was the one who calmly defused the flower stall lady, interrogated the Halfling and assisted the Dr in the house with the sick lady, when I wasn’t allowed in. Really, that man has great healing skill and I respect him a lot. His understanding of the world and the nature of people is beyond imagination. He also knows which questions to ask, and had the insight to scout out the hideout first to see if they were alerted before we would arrive. Then he also proved to be able to change into a bear, and made sure the charlatan was caught. He is a great asset to any team. Assessment – Highly competent

Doctor Vasilievski (is this his real name?)

This man serves some vile god of death, so one can expect we do not get along. This is so. That man’s insight is uncanny, and he knows just how to goad or anger me, with his nasty jibes and careless comments. He has a great love for luxury, and I understand he deems himself unworthy of the meager accommodations offered to us by the guild. He talks and talks and talks, and also sells ‘elixirs’, which I think are like potions, but he sells them too cheap to be so, so he must be a charlatan of some sorts. He proved competent though on the market square, when he had accurate information on the falsehoods that were spread, with evidence to back them up. Too bad he was recognized and we had to ‘arrest’ him (something I admittedly enjoyed). Although he healed the town criers poor mother, I was appalled when we heard how his healing came to be. Vile it is, and I shudder to think of it. When we needed to climb a rope to get to the roof, he taught me the knot-trick, which I guess can come in handy some time. Later, at the house, we encountered the same problem, in that we couldn’t get in the house and had to make do using the window. After I got hit by the Dragonborns scorching breath, he used his vile magic on me, which I of course did not appreciate at all. Just the touch of that made me feel dirty. He also angrily stabbed the prisoner in his testicles, which I normally wouldn’t approve of, but the man had just gleefully described how he would discredit the guild by burning down an entire block. As I had slapped Gwyn for torture he insisted I do the same to him. Guess there is some kind of honor in that man. Buried very, very deep. Assessment – Incredibly annoying, but fairly competent.
And I? I did mostly nothing, but live to tell the tale. May the goddess forgive my sins, and bless my journey.

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On the next issue:

The Golden Company