This week
Two VERY different viewpoints about what I believe to be about the same mission.
The Golden Company story by Gerolt
(Editor’s note: The following is an account of a clandestine operation allegedly carried out on orders of the Adventurer’s Guild. The original document was provided to the Chronicles by a small kobold dressed in leather armor, who had provided reliable accounts of Adventurer’s Guild activities previously. This piece was written in the Orcish language and has been painstakingly translated by yours truly. Please forgive minor translation errors, as my mastery of the language is limited)
Right, seeing as I’ve got all these thoughts floating around, and I need to practice my runes anyway, I figure I might as well skewer two goblins with one javelin by getting this mess out of my head and onto paper.
So here’s the deal; I’ve been sitting on my ass in the guild hall too long, and I’m itching for something useful to do. Coin pouch is feeling mighty light too, so we’ve got another pair of goblins on our hands.
I go to check the quest board, but all the juicy stuff’s way up in the gold and mithral sections. Too rich for my blood. Problem is, all the bronze roch* is some nonsense involving that gate they got out in the north-west of town.
*(Editor: Not familiar with this word, possibly profanity)
Now, I’m no coward, but stepping foot through that duzsad* death trap is a fool’s game. Probably a good reason why they saw the need to demolish the entire district around it.
*(Editor: Definitely profanity, redacted)
Last piece of paper I notice before calling it a day is some near-empty note that explains absolutely nothing of use. Ain’t even an official guild quest, not that that stopped me last time. As I go to put it back, I make the fatal mistake of muttering the words “mystery quest” under my breath sarcastically, inevitably drawing in Jade like catnip. The Tabaxi girl I’ve come to know over the last few weeks comes bouncing over, radiating near-sickening levels of positivity as usual.
One thing you need to know about Jade is that the girl’s more stubborn than a dwarven smith trying to forge a sword out of diamonds*. Naturally, she’s dead set on doing this quest. Now I could just have let her run along into Lathander knows what kinda suicide mission this thing is bound to be alone, but I’d hate to lose one of the only people in this place worth talking to. Besides, I gotta admit I’m curious to see how she fights when we’re actually on the same side.
*(Editor: Orcish proverb perhaps?)
Surprisingly, Phaedra, the dainty pointy-eared priestess of love and beauty or whatever volunteered as well. The woman went on her first quest the day before and I guess she must have gotten a taste for blood. This should be good. Unfortunately, it seems some Drow clown named Quen decided to insert himself into our party, supposedly because he had “foreseen it’s fortuitous outcome”. Bunch of gunshul* if you ask me. Which, of course, nobody did.
*(Editor: Lit. “the study of nonsense”. Hogwash, if you will)
With Phaedra’s lack of combat experience, and Jade’s child-like wonder when it comes to “adventures”, I figured it would be a good idea to sit them down and share some of my war-time wisdom with them. Now, I’m no leader, but somebody’s gotta take point on crafting some sort of plan that doesn’t involve half of us carrying the other half home in leaking sacks.
Unfortunately, they take my advice as an attack on their abilities, and nobody actually listens to anyone. Then that psycho death-cult fanatic snake oil peddling charlatan who calls himself “Doctor” Vasilievski* decides to kick what’s left of the sandcastle into the surf by filling everyone’s heads with fool notions like “It’ll be fine so long as you believe in each other” and “Dying is okay so long as you don’t worry about it”. Things get a little heated and the whole team falls apart before the mission’s even started.
*(Editor: His words, not mine. I’m a satisfied consumer of the doctor’s elixirs myself)
After I cool off, I decide that the only way to salvage this mess is to swallow my pride and do some damage control. I have a little heart-to-heart with Jade, who was clearly dealing with some sort of personal issue that’s none of anybody else’s business so I’m not writing it down. After that’s sorted, we meet back up with Phaedra, who joined us as if nothing happened. Diplomatic as always.
When time comes to get the show started, the three of us meet up with Quen and find out two more members are joining the group; some gypsy-looking woman named Elveira carrying no armor or weapons worth mentioning. I guess she can stand in the back with the Drow to distract the enemies through interpretive dance* or something.
*(Editor: Had to look this one up and was surprised to find Orcish had a word for it)
Other guy is a half-orc that looks like some kinda tribal shaman plucked straight out of a mountain village. Unwashed hair, red leather, animal hides, the works. He claims to be a hunter, surprising absolutely nobody. Asked him his name too, but turns out this hillbilly’s got a title longer than a roper’s tentacles, so I decide his name is just gonna be “Vic” for today. Warning your ally to duck an incoming hail of crossbow bolts is not gonna work if he’s a pincushion by the time you get to their third middle name.
Since this is one of those “off the books” quests, we’re supposed to be meeting with that compulsive magic user Kiresri. I remember the sound of her fingers snapping every six seconds, but I’ll be damned if I recall what floor her office is on, so we head to the reception desk.
At the desk, we find some gnome woman with a single ridiculous looking blue pigtail sticking out the side of her head like some near-sighted assassin had managed to garrote her hair by mistake. I figure I must have overlooked her all the other times I walked past the place on account of the guild hiring a receptionist that can’t reach up to the desk unassisted.
It seems that today, the woman has managed to solve this problem by standing on a stack of books, as if the city of Arnheim had yet to be introduced to the novel concept of stepladders, or I don’t know, a chair. Now I’m not much of a bookworm, but I happen to know that stack of paper she had planted her feet on would go for a small fortune on the grey market. Guild business must be booming.
Anyway, turns out this gnome, named Loïs, is a fan of our one-eyed Drow for some reason. Supposedly, Quen is some sort of musician who happens to perform in the tavern this woman goes to get drunk at. Due to this, Loïs proves more than willing to surrender the apparently top-secret location of Kiresri Phoenixtree’s office, which Jade and I head towards immediately while the rest of the group dawdles for some reason.
The fact that I actually bothered to bathe and clean my gear before this mission turned out not to satisfy Kiresri’s impossible standards of hygiene, which was unfortunate for her. When she was done whining, Kiresri’s explained that the catalyst for this whole thing was a single, unopened letter, marked with elven script. She handed the thing to us like she expected it to be poisoned or something. Of course, Jade wasn’t bothered and tore off the seal to get at the contents, which she could read because apparently she is fluent in every script known to manoidkind*.
*(Editor: This word was written in common and I have not encountered it before. I’ll be sure to add it to my vocabulary)
The message inside essentially boils down to a place; the Qor’en Market, a time; dusk, and a name; Denise. In other words, we’re two pieces of paper deep and we still don’t have a damned clue what we’re supposed to be getting paid for. Or how much.
Since there’s some time to kill before dusk, I figure it’s worth giving one more shot to coming up with some sort of battle plan. Unfortunately, my suggestions are met with the familiar chorus of “We’ll figure it out as we go along”. Don’t say I didn’t try. The only piece of advice that seems to stick with the two newcomers is to stay away from Bob the explosive farm boy when he’s using magic, or really at any time whatsoever. I decide to mark that as a win.
Near dusk, we stroll up to the Qor’en Market. Busy place with a big fortified compound right in the middle of it. Along the way, Quen draws an annoyingly large crowd of adoring fans. Seems our charcoal-skinned cyclops’ face is known and loved throughout the city. Great, just what we need. A damned celebrity on what looks to be a low-key kind of mission. I decide to keep an eye out, and do a double take on what appears to be a cat with wings circling around above us. Quen casually explains that the thing’s his pet, as if the guy wasn’t flamboyant enough.
Luckily, this Denise we were looking for is pretty easy to find. Looks like she could dish out a decent beating, but clearly received a more than decent one recently. She finally explains what this whole charade is all about, but not before effectively throwing herself at Quen’s feet because he plays music good or something.
Long story short: Her brother Matt pissed off the wrong people, got himself in debt, was fool enough to try and make an incomplete payment instead of skipping town, getting himself imprisoned in the process. Mission: Get him out alive. Reward: 100 gold to share. Finally, some clarity.
Supposedly, this Matt is being kept somewhere inside the guarded compound in the middle of the square, which the Drow claims is no problem as he can use his magic to scout the area. I turn and ask him about the specifics of this ability, only to watch his remaining eye cloud over and getting no response. About ten seconds later, somebody shoots an arrow up from inside the compound, which falls back down embedded in the corpse of Quen’s bird cat, which in turn explodes in a cloud of glittering faerie dust or something. duzsad* wizards.
*(Editor: My sincere apologies for the continued profanity)
Since the subtle approach has clearly failed, I suggest to default to plan B, which is always to go in and kill anything that tries to stop you from completing the mission. Quen however, decides that all plans must be delayed until he gets compensation for the death of his magical pet. I watch in disbelief as he simply walks up to the wall and starts demanding gold from the guards inside.
Just when I think the situation can’t get any weirder, Vic the fur-clad half-orc starts mouthing off at the guards about shipping volume and asset liquidity. Turns out this tribal-looking son of a helam* is some sort of duzsad** warrior-accountant. Negotiations about the damn cat’s funeral costs unsurprisingly come to a deadlock, until Elveira steps up and casually offers to duzsa*** the guard in exchange for the cash. Phaedra’s turning so red I think she’s ready to burst a vein or something.
*(Editor: Again, apologies)
**(Editor: I cannot express how much I wish this man would stop writing so much profanity)
***(Editor: I’m just going to apologize in advance for any further profanity)
Turns out this supposedly well-guarded compound in manned by a bunch of lechers more than willing to abandon their post for a chance at getting laid. While this slack-jawed pervert arranges a replacement, Elveira just up and vanishes into thin air. Neat trick. Would have been nice if she’d shared that with the rest of the class so we could have, you know, planned around it.
Either way, by the time this incredibly unprofessional guard follows his bab down the stairs, Elveira is long gone. This guy doesn’t even seem to care, and he tries out some 2-copper pickup lines on Phaedra instead. Bad move. I can already tell this situation is about to go south, so I weigh the consequences of shanking this man in full view of the crowd around us against the fact that we seem to be making no duzsad progress towards actually accomplishing something.
I know Jade to be the sneaky type, so I decide this is a good time to try out the hand signals I learned at the thieves’ guild and ask for her opinion. She responded by burying her shortsword in the sex pest’s neck before wrenching it out with a nice squelch, ripping his head clean off. Without missing a beat, she draws her bow and shoots up at the guy’s replacement on the roof, hitting him in the face. I knew the girl could fight, but I have to admit I was not expecting the always happy and naive Jade to be such a ferocious killing machine. I’m impressed.
Predictably, the crowd around us goes berserk, shouting bloody murder. Which, admittedly, it was. Less predictably, Vic the savage economist speaks some sort of incantation that causes his limbs to split in half, grow hairy carapace, and elongate as he up and turns himself into a massive goddamn spider. As should be obvious, the crowd quickly abandons any notion of lynch-mobbing One of the townsfolk decides to push some old lady at spider-Vic, presumably in an attempt to placate the massive demon spider. He seems to appreciate the offer.
The crowd seems to be handled for the moment, and Phaedra is gesturing wildly at the entrance to the compound, shouting for everyone to get inside. I rush past her, finding Jade, who had apparently slipped inside while I was distracted. I notice a guy on a nearby roof ready to throw daggers, so I do what I’m here for and put my shield between him and Jade.
What I didn’t notice, was that arrowface on the roof was still alive, and very much out for revenge. The crazy son of a helam jumped down right on top of Jade before I had time to cover her, burying both his daggers in vital areas. I can feel the rage boil up in my blood, half directed at this dukhal for what he did to Jade, and the other half at myself for letting it happen. Turns out there was no need. The cat lady still has some fight left in her and she stabs up into the guy’s belly, gutting him alive. Hell of a way to go.
Still worried about Jade’s injuries, I turn to help her, only for Quen, whose existence had slipped my mind, to peek out from up on the roof he was lying on and use sort of healing magic to stop the worst of the bleeding. Figuring I’d be more useful somewhere else, I turn around to check in with mister knife guy and see Elveira reappear behind a crate, casting some sort of gypsy curse up at the guard. It seems to be effective, as he loses his footing on the roof tiles that appear to be glowing for some reason, dropping down to the floor like a sack of apples.
Spotting an easy target to empty out the rest of my anger into, I rush over to finish him. However, I instinctively glance to the side, noticing Vic’s massive spider form hunched over what appears to be a ballista mounted on the roof of a tower. While I’m distracted (c’mon, can you blame me?). Elveira nimbly tumbles over her crate and beats me to my target, crushing the man’s windpipe with her staff while cursing his ancestors or something. Brutal.
Since there’s no more mister knife guy, I keep running like that was the plan all along and spot some sucker in the process of climbing a rope. Fish in a barrel. I figure this is the perfect opportunity to try out those darts I’ve been practicing with and slide one out from my leg holster and quickly throw it. You see, the problem with hitting fish in a barrel is that the surface of the water messes with the light, and fish are slippery duzsulz. In other words, the dart sails right over the guy’s head.
Any hopes that this shameful display went unnoticed were quashed when I hear a voice above and behind me stage-whisper “You suck!”. I look up to find that Quen had crawled all the way over the rooftop for the sole purpose of delivering this vital piece of tactical information to me. At least the whole debacle alerts Jade to this new threat, and she nimbly darts across the rooftops to cut fishface off.
In an attempt to redeem myself, I run up the stairs to assist Jade, only to trigger a trip wire, shortly followed by the thwang of a crossbow trap, shortly followed by a pained yelp from Jade. I grit my teeth, run up to the guy I missed earlier and decide to unleash my rapidly increasing self-hatred by slamming him into the wall and thrusting my rapier into the vulnerable armpit and out through his neck. A wave of satisfaction and relief washes over me as I finally contribute something useful to the situation.
The apparent end of the battle is punctuated by the distant but heavy thwang of the ballista being fired, followed by what is unmistakably the sound of a man’s head being turned into day-old beef stew*. In the aftermath, I decide to keep watch while Jade loots the bodies and Elveira decides to lecture Phaedra of all people about the ethics of killing people who are trying to kill you and your friends.
*(Editor: Thanks for that. Wasn’t hungry anyway)
Meanwhile, spider-Vic pulls the hatch off the roof of the ballista tower, triggering some sort of explosion shortly after. Quen goes to investigate and the two discover that the tower is inhabited by some halfling nutjob named Gunther Vunderbarb, who turned out to be, of course, a big fan of Quen’s work. Next mission I’m just assembling a whole team of minstrels. On second thought, maybe not.
For about the next hour, we accomplish absolutely nothing as this pint-sized madman wows the rest of the group with nonsensical stories and a parade of various worthless trinkets and baubles. Rather than gathering all the loot to divide after business is done like professionals would, everyone insists on fighting over 10 gold worth of semi-valuable knick-knacks on the spot.
Gunther proudly informs us of an invention that allows one to see far away things more clearly, which is finally something that could be of use. Unfortunately, Vic, still in spider form, managed to mangle the thing beyond repair in an attempt to nab it earlier. For some reason I absolutely cannot fathom, Vic makes this fact known to Gunther by showing him the wreckage like he was presenting a proud father with the broken corpse of his firstborn son.
Although initially devastated, the madman proved easily distracted but more talk of arcane contraptions. Elveira mercifully releases us from this unproductive situation by informing the rest that she had discovered the location of our target, supposedly through interrogation of a terrified woman and her infant son. Somebody has the insane idea of using the ballista to stretch a rope across the length of the compound, which we were supposed to ride down by holding onto some dinky bent metal rod.
I was going to suggest just walking to where we needed to go like sane people, but of course Jade was already dead-set on riding the damn thing, and Elveira seems just as keen. Knowing there was no point in trying to talk them out of it, I could at least try it out myself first to make sure it’s safe. After Quen manages to secure the rope to a large tree (on the second attempt), I take the metal rod Jade gave me and do what the halfling tells me to. As I look three stories down, I think to myself how my life has managed to lead up to this point and jump.
Gotta admit, the zippy rope thing was kinda fun. Stupid, but fun. I stay up in the tree at the end of the rope to help out Jade and Elveira as they come down as well. Vic (still a spider) and Quen decide against attempting the crossing, instead clambering over the rooftops. We all watch as Phaedra readies herself to follow, last one left on the tower. She jumps down, and almost immediately the damn handle breaks. Through some sort of miracle, perhaps literally, she somehow makes is all the way down, slamming into me with the full weight of her armor.
I’m fine, but the sound does alert a guard posted at a nearby door. Before he can raise the alarm, spider-Vic shoots a sticky mess of thick webbing at him, giving me an opportunity to clamber down and throw a dart that lodges itself into the guard’s forehead for an instant kill. Phaedra insists on wasting her divine power to keep the poor sod’s soul attached to his body. I’m pretty sure he’s in for a splitting headache if he ever wakes up. Now that I think about it, she did the same thing to the other guy I did in earlier. She better not be trying to “save my soul” or some Kazaht.
As everyone makes their way down, we look over to see Jade still stuck in the tree 20 feet up, clinging to it like the floor’s made of lava. The others don’t understand, but from what she told me before, this is a big deal for Jade, so I try my best to talk her down. It works. A little. Eventually Jade joins the rest of us on the ground and we prepare to breach the place in hopes of finding this “Matt” guy.
For the final battle, we actually manage to agree on a plan, it’s a simple one but good. I kick in the door and charge in, shield up. As expected, they were ready for us. Security fence at the entrance, doorman ready to sap anyone coming in, the dukhalz even set up archers behind an interior wall with arrow slits. Clearly, these guys had better security than the garbage posted up outside. I almost feel a sense of respect for this organization we are about to ruin the day of, but it is quickly replaced with a stabbing pain in my hip as an arrow slips passed my shield. Still, I am in position to keep the rest safe. The rest except spider-Vic that is, he doesn’t need any protection and squeezes himself through the door, brushing past a little too close for my taste as he gets up on the wall.
Then I spot him, sitting in a big chair in the back corner is the biggest damn half orc I’ve ever seen. 7 foot and change, the massive hulk of a man stands up and grabs a huge, duz-you greataxe and comes at me. Immediately, I am reminded of my older brother, whose name I will not write here because that Kmitad doesn’t deserve the duzsad honor. I’m not sure my brother was ever that big, but he sure seemed like it when I was just a kid getting my head smashed in because he was bored. I would have exacted some indirect revenge for that brainoia* he pulled on me when I was 14, but two things stopped me. 1: There weren’t any windows available. 2: I’m a professional and I don’t let personal baggage like that lure me into making bad tactical choices.
*(Editor: I can’t be the only one wondering how Orcish got a word for “defenestration”)
As this huge half-orc runs at me, Quen says some magic words and the big guy suddenly starts glowing purple, made it real easy to see where to hit. The battle is in full swing and everything is as planned. I’m taking the hits, Vic is scuttling about biting people, and everyone behind me is shooting arrows and casting healing magic. I think I even saw Phaedra shank a guy that was trying to flank me. I couldn’t be more proud. Well, maybe if she’d actually finished him off, but Jade took care of that soon enough. Glorious.
The only hiccup is this one spineless sorcerer lurking in the back, firing bolts of crackling chaotic energy. Ironically, Bob’s unprovoked outburst the other day had served to prepare me for this moment. I would thank him for it if he wasn’t bat-guano crazy.
Now that I know I can trust the people behind me, I let myself to lower my guard a little and sneak in some hits in the big guy. He’s tough, but we’re slowly whittling him down. Then, I misjudge one of his wild swings, catching an axeblade to the shoulder. Immediately, one of the people backing me up mends the wound. Elveira casts some sort of spell that shatters stone and liquefies the brains of one of the archers, badly hurting several others. I make a mental note not to piss her off as I slip around the half-orc to give the rest a better shot.
Blows rain down on the big guy, spider-Vic crawls above him on the ceiling, lunging down for a vicious bite to the shoulder. Would probably have killed a normal fighter twice over, but this dukhal just won’t go down. In fact, he just seems to be getting angrier, his attacks getting faster and more ferocious. I try to keep my shield up, but the battering assault is too much for my recently-healed shoulder. I take a hard blow to the chest, axe smashing through the rings of my chainmail and slamming me into the wall behind.
Everything goes dark, I feel myself slipping down into unconsciousness. In that moment, I decide to make my mother proud and channel every last bit of Orcish tenacity in my body and rise to meet my nemesis. We lock arms, his superior weight and leverage crushing me as his face is close to mine, enraged, mad dog foaming at the mouth. Then suddenly, a glint of metal and a splash of red bursts forth from the berserker's left eye socket, Jade’s arrow sticking all the way through his skull.
Now limp, the massive weight of this dead meat collapses on top of me. From this uncomfortable position, I quickly check the situation. Vic has dispatched the last archer and seems to be busy consuming his face. The mage has retreated into a corner, terrified. Just one pesky knife thrower remains between us and total victory. A red mist envelops my sight and I push the corpse off of me, striding forward to meet this nuisance rapier in hand. Clearly, this coward is not used to melee combat, as he quickly succumbs to a rapid barrage of thrusts that leaves his body a bloody mess. I raise my eyes, locking them on the mage. “You’re next”. I can barely remember myself saying it, but the others tell me I did.
The mage surrenders, disarmed, the smell of urine quickly filling the room. Pathetic. I restrain him as the others find and free our client’s brother from his gilded cage* and loot the bodies. I slowly calm down, adrenaline leaving me. The hostage we freed walks out and quickly returns with a whole crowd of people. Turns out this whole thing was a setup so he and his sister could take over the business we just freed of management. The lies make me mad. Matt increases the reward. It makes up for the lies. Mostly.
*(Editor: I believe he means this literally)
Apparently, this Matt and Denise, or “The Nephew” and “The Niece” as they insist on calling themselves from this point on, are part of some sort of criminal organization known as “The Family”. Honestly, I don’t really care. We did a job, we got paid. Still don’t understand why they didn’t just post a notice that read: “Want to take over rival business, please kill their leaders.” Would have been much simpler. Quen makes off with Denise. presumably, he’s looking to join the family, or at least help expand it.
Either way, we all make it back alive, little worse for wear. I’m impressed with Jade’s performance this mission. Knew she could fight, but this exceeded my expectation. Phaedra is yet to get her first kill, but maybe that’s for the best. Kaaravic is a beast, in both senses of the word. Wouldn’t mind having him around to soak some hits again. I have to say that I’m impressed with the couple of jokers in bright robes. Both Elveira and Quen saved my sorry ass on more than one occasion.
(Editor: This is as much as he wrote. Certainly, a rousing tale of adventure and strife. Perhaps if we are able to obtain a report of the same events from the perspective of a less… martially minded person, we could gain more insight into the more subtle mechanisms behind this extraordinary occurrence.)
The Golden Company story by Quen
The rockstar has a day off
I’ve been doing pretty great the last couple of weeks and even refined a new song with River, What did he make the lyrics again?
oh… right it went something like this:
“Tomorrow is just today in advance.
Maybe tomorrow I will have a chance.
Maybe I’d have a pretty in every city tomorrow.
That’s what I thought while traveling on my ship looking out from the bow.
Until I started looking for a pretty in town today.
But then I saw you, the prettiest woman I had ever seen, at the bay.
After that I didn’t care about the pretties of tomorrow.
because I saw the prettiest today and I the only thing i thought was wow.”
Or something like that. That cat comes up with some great lyrics, I just make the music really pop. But even with a great hit like “Tomorrow is just today in advance” it isn’t making as much money as i thought. not compared to those quests for the adventurers guild. So I went to the guild to look for a quest that wouldn’t get me killed, which is pretty hard. for some reason a lot of these quests are really dangerous for someones continued health. And of course I can’t take my wonderful self away from this world.
So when I saw the mission about a mysterious letter I deemed it safe enough and with this fantastic team i went it was a cinch. Too bad i can’t tell too much. Its classified. But here is what I can tell you.
I went on the mission with Pheadra from Lauzea a woman just killing time until the guild would accept her quest, Jade on the mountain top a hyperactive cat that you don’t want to be on the bad side of (no really, don’t let her appearance fool you), Elveira a woman who seems to have changed her personality since the last time we met, Kaaravic to be named Vic after this and then there was Gerolt a fighter whom seemed to be only good for taking hits, rather him than me though.
Anyway we went to the reception desk and met with Lois, one of my fans. she was standing atop a stack of books and she gladly told me where we could find the office of Kiresri Phoenixtree. So we went there and got more information about this letter. it was a bit weird that se was cleaning the place while we were there, but who am I to stop someone from multitasking.
We had to meet with Denise at dusk, the prettiest woman in town. And seeing as we had some time to kill before it was time we spent some time with the group telling how dangerous Bob was to the rest of the group.Luckily I’m not the only one that thinks this.
But here comes the part that I can’t tell you much about, so I’m going to give you the highlights.
We had to rescue Denise’s brother, they killed my cat, I demanded compensation, Vic was apparently a great businessman, which took all of us by surprise, Elveira tricked the guard to come down, the guard was apparently a pervert, Jade kills the guard in one hit (seriously stay on her good side), all hell breaks loose, Vic turns into a spider, henceforth he shall be called Vickey the spidey, I get to safety on a roof, the others start fighting, except for Gerolt who seems to be dawdling his thumbs, Jade kills another guard (no seriously she’s dangerous), She did get hurt so I heal her, one of the other guards seems to slip from the roof, Gerolt is still useless, Elveira brutally kills the other guard (or so I was told, I didn’t see it myself), Gerolt is still useless, I go towards Gerolt and ask him if he is going to start doing something, Gerolt does something, he activates a trap that hits Jade (hopefully she doesn't kill him), Gerolt FINALLY hits someone, Vickey the spidey is in the meantime shooting a damn ballista basically finishing this part.
I go to Vickey the spidey as he seems to have some trouble with something. Apparently the tower that the ballista was on is owned by my biggest fan. Gunther Vunderbarb, an inventor of sorts. We spend about an hour to get to know Gunther and get more information about what is going on. I negotiate a little deal with Gunther allowing me to shoot the ballista, which was awesome. We had heard about all kinds of dangerous traps that were on the path so I came up with the idea to skip everything by attaching a rope to the ballista and slide down to a plaza with a big tree. Or I tried to, I’m not a fighter or an archer so I wasn’t really good at aiming the ballista and missed on the first attempt. But on my second attempt I knew how it worked and I hid the tree beautifully. But I wasn’t going to risk falling down from there, so I and Vickey the spidey went over the rooftops while the other four went down the rope.
But this did alert the other guys, they quickly take care of the guard that is outside and we prepare to go in. Just before the others go in I make the room inside a nice violet shining light, hoping to hit some of the people inside. Which I do. And here is another boring summary.
the person whom seemed pretty useless until this point rushes in first, of course he gets hit by an arrow when he moves in, I keep at a safe distance of course, Vickey the spidey goes in walking on the roof, This big ugly Orc comes rushing towards the “hasn’t accomplished anything of meaning yet” Gerolt, I help Gerolt a bit by making the Orc light up in violet, making him easier to hit, maybe Gerolt can be useful now, Vickey the spidey is killing people, Jade is killing people, even Pheadra is trying to kill people, but Jade kills them before she can, Gerolt is just hitting the big guy and taking more hits than he is dishing out, I need to heal him, Elveira casts something horrifying that kills an archer, Vickey the spidey does one attack on the big guy and takes him down, I’m wondering what Gerolt is actually doing, But the big guy comes back from the dead, Gerolt is taking so many hits that I can’t keep up with my healing, Gerolt goes down and comes back from the dead, just like the big guy, Jade has killed most of the other guys in the room and decides to help Gerolt, Kills the big guy with one shot (seriously, don’t piss her off), Vickey the spidey takes care of the last archer, Gerolt finally contributes to the fight by taking out this knife thrower, there is one magician left cowering in the corner, that somehow reminds me of Bob and I have this sudden urge to persuade someone to kill him.
But we instead used him to get information, we rescued the brother, I got the girl and life was good.
On the next issue:
The double address
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