Aporeu chronicles Issue 20: Last Rites
Stories from the adventurers
This week
Zombies and graveyardsLast Rites Story by Rurik
(Editor's note: This story was brought to us by a small Kobold with chainmail and a Dwarven accent. And seemed to get a little miffed when we wouldn't believe he was actually a Dwarf.) So, I meet up at the Guild Hall with the people that I'll be looking into the issue of dead people getting up and walkin' around with. It's a fellow named Surron, who's got a raven on his shoulder and doesn't wear too much in the way of armor, that I can see. Then we have a bloke by the name of Cahir, who doesn't seem to wear much armor either. Has a rapier by his side, but I didn't get a good look at the make. Probably not Dwarven. Then we have Noaz, a man much like myself, but in studded leather, and a longsword at his side. Neither the armor or weapon are Dwarven made. Last but not least, we have a man who goes by the name of Doctor Vasilievski, and who just doesn't seem to have an 'off' switch. Always talking about something. Seems to have the heart in the right place. Even if he ALSO doesn't have any Dwarven make armor or weapons on him. I just hope these people know what they're getting into.. The fact that they seemed confused about me being a Dwarf doesn't inspire a lot of confidence with me. Dr. V. (I'm not calling him that long name every time, I have other stuff I could be doing with the time I save not doing so) says we need to meet with a certain 'Lornan'. Turns out he's talking about the guy that gave me my provisionary Adventurer's badge. Nice enough man. Half-elf, modest but stylish clothes. V said Lornan was very sick, and dying of something. Considering that Lornan wasn't having any of his BS surrounding an apparently unsanctioned quest the day before, I have my suspicions on the validity of the claims surrounding this illness. But enough about that, you wanna know about this mission and the zombies we took out. So, Lornan tells us that a Brother Zachary from Kelemvor's Church of the Last Breath came to the guild with reports of undead in their graveyard. And now panic is keeping people from burying their dead, or visiting the graves of their loved ones. He says we need to check with the church and Brother Zachary for more information. And after some prompting from Cahir, if I recall, tells us that the reward for completion will be 10 gold. It's not great, but it's a start. As we walk over to where we need to go, guided by V and his talk of 'death gods'.. It seems this man has an obsession with death, that I'm not quite sure is entirely healthy for the brain. He does tell us that stabbing skeletons usually doesn't really work all that well, and Cahir manifests a warhammer out of black flames. Still not Dwarven make. I just hope these jokers can hold their own in a fight, with their inferior equipment. We'll see how that works out for them. V lets Noaz borrow his warhammer. We get to the temple, and it's looking ominous. Big reaper-looking sculpting that ends with the hands holding the knockers. We go in, and find about what you'd expect of a church. Except there's 2 people in the back, taking care of a dead Dwarf. I'm hazarding a guess that's not what usually happens in most churches. We're approached by a shaved-head and gaunt looking man, who introduces himself as Brother Zachary. He tells us more about the situation, mostly that some guards encountered a walking corpse. They slew it and burned the body. While effective in keeping it from getting back up, it also removed any way of figuring out what the heck caused it to get back up and go for a stroll in the first place. Which is less than helpful. Zachary says he would like us to cleanse the graveyard of any undead we find, and figure out what's causing the dead to rise. We didn't need to take care of the source right away, even though V offers to do so. They want us to find out what we can, so they can research the issue and try to find a way to make it stop. Which is a pretty good plan, actually. I mean, I know my way around a forge and I studied the arcane because I had a knack for it. Doesn't mean I know stuff about dead things not staying dead. Cahir asks if Zachary noticed anything strange with the acolytes, apparently suspecting it might've been an inside job of sorts. That's pretty smart. Of course, if he was truly smart, he'd invest some of that coin he seems so keen on into getting *proper* gear to work with. But I digress. I just get passionate about making sure people have the proper gear to take care of their business. Especially when that business has an increased risk of shedding one's mortal coil. Zachary says that he hasn't noticed any necromancy among the acolytes, and would've cracked down on it if he had. Seems like a smart enough lad too. Surron sends his raven ahead, and his eyes go white. Now, this stuff I recognize. I take his hand and guide him out so he doesn't trip over stuff, and doesn't get left behind. He mumbles something to me about 5 people by a crypt, dragging stuff out. One of them is wounded, with another tending to his wound. Cahir tries to sneak up, but he picked a bum stone to hide behind and it topples, leaving him in the open. The big guy with a spear says about having a bit of fun. So, we have a fight. Apparently, V has a magic trident that yanks the spear guy away from me just as I came up to him and we feel eachother out a bit. And then he ends up disemboweled before I can get any good hits in. So, I go back up Cahir, who's dancing with a feisty redhead. Then SHE dies before I can really get into the swing of things, too. So, I rush over to the woman that's tangling with Noaz. Who first half-buried the loaned warhammer, then flung it over his shoulder about 20 feet back or something. Clearly, he's not as great of a fighter as he looked. And then he stabs the woman in the throat as I was doing my work on her back. Thought I didn't notice, but I did. So, I decide to get some much needed catharsis and keep chopping at the lass' body. By the time I'm done, I don't think there's enough left over to identify. And she's sure as shit not gettin' an open casket for the funeral, either. But I feel less shit after, so it was worth it. Archer boy and the Dwarf surrendered after their friends bit it. They drop their remaining weapons, and drop their pants to their ankles, as V requested. An unorthodox request, but the reasoning is sound. They're not gonna be running away very quickly with their pants down there. And the Dwarf is oddly happy to humor the condition. Archer boy, I think they called him Quintus, was the one that got bitten by a corpse when they were robbing the crypt. As V checks out the wound, Cahir stabs him in the throat. Apparently, the disease had already taken hold, and archer boy turns into a zombie. Which we quickly dispatch of by turning it into tiny bits. A little healing is done to the people that got hit because they aren't wearing proper quality armor, and we go check out the inside of this crypt. We find a couple of things laying around, and we make sure everything is alright before we bring back the bodies (and whatever you want to call what's left of the one that used to be called Delphine) to the church. We tell Zachary of the arcane runes we spotted on the back of the crypt, and the 'fresh' zombie that was interred there about a month prior. We couldn't tell what killed the poor guy while he was alive. We also show the symbols we found on the crypt, copied exactly like they were by V. Remind me to never let that man see my signature. I worry what he might do in my name if unchecked. The tracks we found, leading to the west and out of town are also brought up. They do some research, and come to the conclusion that the zombies are created by a disease that spreads through bites. Zachary asks us to spend the night in the "Final Rest Inn", across the road from the church. Run by a woman that goes by the name 'Nightshadow'. Not sure why, but she seems to like it. Not that you'd be able to tell. She tries very hard to sound uninterested in anything. We partake in the ancient and time-honored Dwarven tradition of getting hammered. I do just fine, the rest is okay. Surron, however, gets absolutely PLASTERED, the mad lad, and pays for his inability to hold his liquor in the morning. He says something about the sun being 'loud' as the door opens. Of course, there's no time to waste, as one of the acolytes came to find us in the morning, in a panic. We head to the temple, and find a man saying something about his sister having gone insane and attacking him, while foaming at the mouth. Sounds a lot like archer boy. So, we set off to his house, where he'd locked his sister in to keep her from hurting people. Of course, nothing every just works out that way, does it? When we get to his place, the door's smashed open from the inside out, and we spot 4 zombies trying to bite more people. We get into a scrap, and the buggers just won't *STAY* dead once we kill them. Well, until I've had enough of their bullcrap and start lopping off their head after they go down. Which works like a treat. Dwarven ingenuity and Dwarven craftsmanship. The others work around them getting back up with poking them in the head or setting them on fire. Though Noaz learned about what to do and lopped off one's head as well. There's some hope for the guy yet. Just need to convince him to get himself some properly made weapons and armor, and he could be a great one. During the scrap, one of them manages to get past my armor, and bites me. It stings like a mother, and I feel a little sick afterwards. Lucky for us, V learned the same spells we got some scrolls for, and everybody that was bitten gets cured right away. It would very much have sucked to turn into a zombie on my first time out for the Guild. As much as I didn't want to come here at first, I have to say this is pretty good work. We bring back the bodies of the zombies we killed to the temple, so they can research a way to make sure we can handle it if another outbreak happens. We also learn about the guy behind all this, though I'll not write down his name here, since I don't want to let him know we're on to him. Though I guess that ship has sailed with the mere writing of this text. Oh well. Still not givin' ya his name. Also, if you get bit while in or near a graveyard.. DON'T keep it to yourself, and find a healer as quickly as you can. Unless you want to die and turn into a zombie. The guy's sister was bitten by a squirrel, and she turned. So.. Don't be a hero, find some help as soon as you get bit. We get some extra coinage from Zachary for going above and beyond, and saving as many people from turning into zombies as we could manage. Signed, Rurik Ironscale, Scion of Clan Ironhammer.Last Rites Story by Dr. Vasilievski
Doctors log entry 6 (Please note that though names are possibly wrong, these are the ones as I remember them, and Viktor Vasilievski is the one who uses them. Any and all things I entail here are complete truths, unless I lied or embellished. So if you remember differently, it just means you are probably wrong. Enjoy the confusion, love the ride, don’t ever forget that truth is a pliable material, and be engrossed by my musings!) So tired. But one has to press on or I’ll never be ready to get Jade her surprise, or tell Phaedra the poem properly. So just stick with it and get to it. Miracles are your trade, better keep at it. I find myself looking at a quest. Last Rites. Well, if there ever was a “Vasilievski, please help us” quest, then this is probably the one. I pick it up, and go to see the group I am with. I start off with my speech, as it is imperative to establish a bond so mortality is less likely. With a bond, even a slight one, established, I look at who I am with. Lots of new faces for me. First new face I see is called Surron Galandon, an unassuming man in traveling clothes, with a rather lovely looking black raven on his shoulders. His attire suggests he is not a frontline fighter, but Thamior also looked like that and is never off the front. He introduces himself as the Ravencaller of the West. Wow. That’s an amazing name. He surely has elegance and style. Just not in clothing. The second face I meet seems like an excited man. Fully armed, very ready. Totally new equipment He introduces himself as Noaz. He has recently began adventuring. Ah, one of those good looking true to form types of real deal energy. The population will flock to him if…positioned properly. Just give him confidence and he’ll do the rest V. Then there is an odd one to the group. A….”Dwarf”. It’s a kobold in full armour. He looks like a walking piece of armour with an axe, but who am I to judge. He calls himself Rurik, and speaks with a dwarvish accent. Ironhammer. I…read that…somewhere. I think it’s an old family of sorts. … Maybe Ulfgar would know. Last, but not least, a man named Cahir introduces himself. He wields a nice looking rapier, and seems lightly armoured. Hmm… Odd vibes, but not sure if it’s right or wrong vibes. Time will tell. I inform the group of Lornan’s sacrifices and his choices in life, and how this deathly ill man chooses to hide his affliction and still work for the guild. Keep working the angle V. It’s slowly taking root. We enter the room, and Lornan explains to us the situation. He explains the church of Kelemvor Eugh. The boring death god. Why couldn’t we get an exciting one, like the raven queen. Oh well, Bureacratic death god it is. Needs help. There have been undead sighted on their graveyard, and they need assistance. I know the place, so I’m pretty set. I ask if there is anything else he knows, and the rewards listed. It’s not much, but it’s money. The journey towards the church is fairly unassuming. I establish a marching order Just in case, no need to lose good (or bad) men on silly small things. Compliment the soldierboy. I also tell Noaz he can borrow my warhammer against skeletons, if he needs it. He seems excited about it. The door to the church is a decent one. The reaper himself is holding the door closed, and the knocker itself is his hand. The kobold…no..Dwarf, Rurik, and Noaz hold point, with Cahir and Surron in the middle, me holding the back. Good start. Though it’s probably not needed. Cahir casts a spell, and black clouds of energy swirl around as a black elvish warhammer appears. Alright, colour me impressed.
The doors swing open, and the brother himself comes out. Brother Zackary is looking worried. Never saw him like this. What a pickle it is then. Behind him, his acolytes are working on giving a deceased body his last rites. Zackary explains how there have been undead around his graveyard. The guards found a zombie and they burned the remains to ensure the body did not raise again. Now, people are scared to come. Cahir asks Zackary if he has seen any suspicious behaviour, both in the church as well as outside. Zackary assures us it was not his church, and tells us he knows of nobody that still frequents the graveyard. I know you Zackary… I look pleadingly to the priest, and the tiniest of nods is followed by a prayer. Thanks my friend. The blessing shall strengthen our bodies from harm. A useful spell surely. I know of it, but it is a spell that doesn’t trick or cheat, so I am less inclined to use it.
Outside, I ask the group what their ideas are. Surron suggests we investigate the graveyard. With little other plans or things to go on for now, it seems the best course of action. Our investigation starts. Surron uses Quen’s future sight Hmm… now the Ravencaller makes even more sense. He says there are 5. They are robbing a grave. Cahir is the first to arrive at the group of tomb robbers. We look at their activity. It seems there are 5 people. One injured, the rest still working. Cahir sneaks up on them, and knocks over a tombstone. Right. Plan, window. Improvisation time. I walk up, and yell that my mothers tombstone is now damaged. The lie appears to be working…Until combat is initiated by Cahir. There goes diplomacy. Noaz runs in to the left, and his inexperience and excitement show, as he throws the warhammer wildly down, then swings it back up again, not realizing the weight of the weapon. The weapon flies. Literally. 10 feet in the wrong direction. Compliments. Just shout them! I tell him I have never seen my hammer thrown that far and accurately. If he works on it, he will be Noaz of the order of the Hammer in no time. Lies to make him bigger. Let the people see the hero. Noaz, perhaps be… The Sword of the People! Ooh that’s good. Titles. Ravencaller of the west, Sword of the people..Rurrik is a dwarven kobold…wait.. Rurrik the Bold! And Cahir? ….Hmmm… Time V. Time.
With little else to do, I figure I might as well test my new toy. Couldn’t do it properly last time, so this time, I’m going all out. I throw my phantom angler at one of the men, Rurik is currently running at him. Surron uses his abilities, but I am not quite sure how they function. The raven is pretty damn cool, that much is at least true. Figure that magic out. Combat is frantic, but I manage to pull in the man as he is fighting a kobold, and then viciously murder him using the magic of Shar. The darkened energies burn away his chest, and he looks lifelessly into my eyes. Go get them Rurrik the bold! I exclaim as I look to the next enemy. Noaz is bravely fighting off two, as a girl is screaming about dancing. Give the boy confidence, let him be the hero. I make a quip about taking three to tango, and I run in and stab her. She’s not dead, but it surely is wonderfully effective. The others are being amazing. Surron The Ravencaller of the West blows a magical bubble of regrowth, healing Noaz, The Sword of the People Yes, I like these titles. They make us epic. Cahir is slowly ruining the poor day of this man using some weird black shadows, similar to my death energies. …. Cahir the Shadow? No…not quite there. Work on it V. I like the shadow angle. Rurrik has finally reached his enemy, and starts ….making her a bloody pulp. The remaining two survivors surrender. I tell them to drop their weapons and their pants. This is met by some confusion, but I have found that people with pants on their ankles suck in combat and in running. I take the time to explain to them they are in fact being robbed, and that they will tell us everything. Thankfully, the man is a professional. He explains they were obtaining some goods from the tomb, when suddenly a zombie bit his colleague. They managed to kill the zombie, and continued their work. I decide to inspect the other ones wound. It appears infected, and as I prepare to suck out the death to seal the wound, Cahir suddenly stabs him through the neck.
But….why? Then… The man turns. The zombification process I had not realized, Cahir scholarly identified. The shadow Scholar. That’s it! I look at Cahir, as we quickly end the poor mans unlife. Cahir the Shadow Scholar, your knowledge surpasses mine. Thank you for your insight. We gather up the different valuables, and go down into the crypt. Taking utmost effort, I try to convince Noaz to try the hammer again. Noaz, Sword of the people. Hammer it in. …Good one V. As the sword of the people, your hammer will strike righteously. I shall give them their last rites. And relay their valuables to our possession. In the other tombs, we find some trinkets and an amulet. It appears magical, and I discuss a way of suitably exchanging goods. Rurrik is bold. Yep, correct name And insists we get paid. I start setting up a contract, but fatigue is setting in. Together we decide to make a final circle around the perimeter. I investigate the corpses and give them new rites, as Rurik collects the valuables. Surron checks the surroundings and finds tracks leading west Where else and then a bit south, while Noaz finds odd arcane symbols. I can’t read them, but Surron can. At his request, I copy them flawlessly in his book. The moving corpses were all fresh. That might be important information.
With this information, we go to Brother Zackary, and he offers us a night at the local tavern as well as a promise he will investigate this matter. I warn him that because we interrupted the rituals it might lead to an attack of sorts, so caution is in order, as well as that they should wash off the icons. At this mention, Surron rushes outdoors, as Cahir explains it is likely this is an inside job. I’m not sure about this, but he was right about the zombification too. This man is obviously an intelligent perceptive man. Good to keep in mind.
Zackary refuses to believe it Your funeral… But he does tell us tomorrow brings new answers. And I’m extremely tired. So no big party tonight. Just a small one. We get to the Last Breath Inn, a rather dreary deathly place, with a black haired girl with rather large breasts. Impressive, but nowhere near as impressive as Tits. I put on my best game face, and begin selling Noaz as the best thing since churned butter. The girl calls herself Nightshadow. If Cahir shows his magic he’ll definitely get laid, but I kinda need Noaz’ confidence through the roof…. Nightshadow talks with us about her boyfriend, who is learning necromancy from his mentor. But he’s totally not worth her time, because she’s fabulous. Unfortunately, before we manage to sell her on Noaz’ awesome features, he goes to bed. She’s interested in Surron and his raven, and talks a bit more, before I finally give in to sleep.
I wake up to an emergency. I don my armour, and run to Surron The ravencaller of the West. His response? “The Sun is too loud.” …Amateur. We dash into the church, Surron barely dressed correctly, the rest ready as ever, though Rurrik does look a little…. uncomfortable in the sunlight. Dwarf in soul, Kobold in race…Rurrik the Bold. A farmer is begging for our help. His sister went to the graveyard. She started being sick, and he went to get help. If this is the zombification, time is crucial. We immediately run off, and Zackary only barely manages to give us some scrolls.
There are zombies on the streets. Panic might ensue. Alright V, time to show Noaz how this is done. I step up, and shout loudly. Worry not, the Doctor is here. Run if you can, fight if you must, and come to the doctor if you get bitten! The people see, they hear. The panic lessens, direction follows. People will die today…ohhh…that’s a nice dress. Hopefully she lives, or dies without it being ruined.
The fight is hectic. I wish I could say I can describe it properly, but please accept this version as my truth. Noaz, boldened by my words, runs in to save the people. Cahir prepares his magic, Surron positions himself, and Rurik runs in swiftly. I find a zombie going into a back alley and the muffled scream of a commoner being cornered. I waste no time, and throw Phantom Angler at him. The resistance is there, but the zombie does not advance. The zombies start biting people, and there is pandemonium, as I attempt to save the villager. The group starts killing the zombies.
Villagers die, and I get grabbed by a recently turned, then pushed to the ground, as I see a villager chased. I am in trouble…But…Phaedra..Shar be damned, I’ll be fine. I’m the doctor. I throw the angler, the angle is off, but I strike. The zombie goes down. The villager escapes. The zombie gets back up. …Wait what?
This is where I found out why the bodies were burnt. I fight off the two on me, as Cahir casts arcane magics to aid me. The loud thunderous crack is painful to the ears, and apparently to the zombies’ body as well. I stab one through the face, and my divine energy is released. Only to vanish into the air as my rapier tip is out in the open and I didn’t see. Curses V. Be the doc be awesome. Be cool. I get bitten. I feel the burning sensation. Uhoh not cool. I fight the pain, and keep struggling against the zombies, finally managing to get back up as Cahir drags the burning corpse of another zombie off me. No idea how it suddenly caught fire, but damn if it aint cool. Scholar with knowledge of spontaneous combustion. Shadow Scholars are badass!
I grab the last zombie by the head, and let the horrendous death energies slash his body as it is necrotically disected into little bits. That won’t get back up soon. Now I see the heads, all over the streets as beheaded zombies and a grizzly looking group are alive, though some peasants died. Oooh the nice dress. I look at it, and add it to our loot.
We use my magic to heal the people, and my friends. Then I realize…I am wounded. Thankfully, Surron the Ravencaller has magical restoration scrolls. Those were the scrolls which Zackary prepared and hastily gave us. Thank you Z. You saved me. The raven appears angry that the people believe Doctor Vasilievski saved everybody, but still uses its exquisite regurgitative magic to cure my ailment. We gather up the dead, heal the sick, and Noaz The Sword of The people reassures the villagers, as well as talk to the farmer. The farmer calls himself Bertrand. Turns out he’s really a butcher, but that’s not the issue here. His sister got bitten by a squirrel. Which means…This problem is far from over. With this, we go back and report to Zackary.
Zackary asks us how he can help, and we explain we need to do some research before our report and advice. Cahir as a scholar is going to go with Surron to examine the arcane signs, which Surron, the genious that he is, kept safe by adding a small magical ward around it so it did not activate for a day. Smart Ravencaller. Very smart.
Noaz is riling up the people, and I examine the corpse. Cahir recognized the materials. Truly a scholar. As Surron manages to figure out the red dye. It’s silver cress and realgar. One a flower, the other a leather dye. I inform Surron of Alyr’s extensive knowledge of flowers, as I continue my research, and Cahir explains he would like to secure the perimeter. Noaz in the meantime, is setting up a militia. I look outside, and a single beam of light is shining upon him, as a hero is born. Noaz, The sword of the people. I’ll be damned, the man is actually genuinely amazing without need of my praise…. My studies continue, and it takes a lot of effort to isolate the disease from the body, but eventually I manage to get the necrotic energy, and examine it.
It appears to be a disease that eats away the lifeforce of a person until none is left, and the parasitic entity overtakes the bodily functions of the husk, with the only goal of infecting more. It is not a natural disease. This is magical in nature. As I finalize my findings, Surron’s raven comes and asks us to come to Murryck, a leather salesman. I quickly go, as I see Noaz’ inspiring an actual militia to protect the graveyard. I suggest the name “Swords of the people”. Maybe they’ll take it. He earned it.
It takes some time, but I manage to arrive at Murryck. The leech wants cash. Instead, I dangle a carrot of advertisement in front of his eyes, and a ruse. He’ll buy more of the red dye, and Falmo will advertise the red leathers for a day. Murryck would be rich. And if the man who bought it all shows up, Murryck will tell us. I give him a gold coin to have his cooperation. He tells us the man who bought it was a gold adventurer, called Marwan. A human druid with a dark skin and a braid. Gold adventurers are above bronze parties usually. This is not gonna be nice for Zackary, but he’ll understand.
Our research complete, we tell Zackary of the situation. Gold badge adventurers are risky business, and we have solved the immediate threat as the assignment desired. This information would probably instigate a follow up from within the guild as well, as the reward offered as is, is unfortunately too disproportionate for the work involved. Zackary understands, as a peasant militia cheers at its leader Noaz.
Well, this was different. But at least we all …wait…where did Rurrik go. Do all Kobolds vanish with.. THE LOOT!!! Thankfully, unlike Marvolo’s, Rurrik is honourable, and we find him outside. We split up the earnings and the gold received from Brother Zackary. Time to party…after a good sleep.
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