Journal Entry #14

Helio'Ra 1003 YAR

Judas is not himself.

I know not how... there is simply something off about him.

Certainly I have no right to say this, but that is why I can write instead? Is it odd that I welcome this change in him, whatever it may be? The other priestesses whisper behind the curtains or in the few darkened corners of the Temple. Our God of Fortune carries with him a different disposition... a different aura. It is as if he was renewed with a new purpose. My handmaidens say that they fear the new intensity in his gaze.

I am not afraid. I find myself... charmed?

What is wrong with me? I was repulsed by the idea of marrying him not but months ago! Perhaps he has noticed something different about me for he stays at the edge of my reach, drifting to the opposite ends of a room or at the far end of a table. When I squint my eyes, I feel I can see things that are not there.

Perhaps I shall find one of the visiting Carmenthian doctors. Clearly, I am ill.

Dydis Judas