Journal Entry #6

Ran'Olvad, 1000 YAR

We will arrive in the city later today. I can see the gold temple from here… it glitters in the setting sun. The sky is… much more red here. It is ostentatious. It makes me nauseous.

Yesterday, as we made camp, Soyolmaa spoke fondly of marrying one day. There are many men of her tribe that are always vying for her attention. She dances with some of them and spurns others. Why could I not choose to continue my dance with Caliban and spurn the desires of an unfamiliar god? She is free and I am envious of that. When I told her such, I realized that she is not aware of whom I am. She was not told that I was Chosen of Caliban and that I served as his Oracle. She was not told that I am the Beloved of Judas and am therefore bound to the god of good fortune. She knows not the weight of what rests on my shoulders. I don’t wish to burden her with that.

By the fire, Soyolmaa and I danced. I will miss her company, but I know that I will see her again. We call each other friends as we share some of the sake I brought from Caliban.

Afterwards, a vision came to me. In a room of gold, Soyolmaa danced to the beat of familiar drums. She held the swords I will gift her one-day. Yet it wasn’t she I danced with. There was a figure, tall and imposing. Features obscured by the fuzziness of the visions.

Is this Judas? Shall I find myself comfortable with Judas… as I was with Caliban? Perhaps I shall humor that hope.

Dysis