Alfie Gitxz Teleportation Service

Tired of Travel's Tangled Tresses? Let Alfie Gitxz, Gnome Extraordinaire, Untangle Them with Instantaneous Escapes! Have wanderlust gnawing at your boots but can't stomach another bumpy carriage ride or tedious trek? Fret not, fellow adventurers, for Alfie Gitxz, Gnome Wizard of Whimsical Whizzes, has conjured the solution! Introducing Alfie's Aetherial Escapes, the fastest, flimsiest, and most fantastic teleportation service ever to tickle the toes of Ealathra!
Forget rickety ships and slowpokes on donkeys! Alfie's spells whisk you away in a blink, a sneeze, a gnomeish giggle. Mountains? Mere molehills. Oceans? Bathtubs! That pesky city wall you accidentally insulted? Poof! Gone! (Disclaimer: City wall insulting still not recommended.)
But wait, there's more! Alfie's Aetherial Escapes aren't just about speed, they're about flair! Choose from a dazzling array of teleportational themes:
The Glittering Gateway: Arrive bathed in shimmering sparkles, the envy of every tavern bard. The Exploding Exit: Burst onto the scene in a puff of harmless (mostly) rainbow smoke, guaranteed to start conversations. The Invisible Infiltration: Sneak into any location like a gnome-sized ninja, perfect for covert ops (or cake stealing). Worried about Alfie's track record? Don't be a buzzard! Sure, there might have been that one time he accidentally teleported a group of adventurers into a dragon's nostril (oops!), but hey, they got a great story out of it, right? Besides, Alfie's been practicing, and his spells are now 98% gnome-error-free! (Okay, maybe 95%.)
So why wait? Book your Aetherial Escape today! Just remember, excessive giddiness and uncontrollable giggling are perfectly normal side effects.
Alfie Gitxz's Aetherial Escapes: Because reaching your destination shouldn't be a drag(on)!
P.S. Mention this ad and receive a free complimentary "Gnomeishly Good Luck" charm (no actual luck guaranteed, but it looks snazzy!).
P.P.S. For the truly adventurous, inquire about Alfie's experimental "Interdimensional Jaunts" package. (Warning: May involve talking squirrels and sentient cheese. Proceed at your own peril… and amusement.)

Type

Corporation, Transportation