A Recounting of the Rescue of Zephyr

16 Deepsnow 243

by Balthazar Avaretti (viashno)
Early one evening, as the fire crackles in the giant fireplace of Galloran's Hearth, Balthazar has claimed a seat near the fire, and a small horde of children have gathered around him to hear a story.   This is a story o' great deeds 'n 'eroes, of a trip inta the very bones o' the earth, of daring 'n a terrifyin' dragon. But we in Vare'olm are lucky enough ta 'ave some genuine 'eroes livin' amongst us. This is the tale o' the rescue o' Zephyr.   Before the tale may truly begin, ya need a bit o' background on what 'appened to poor ol' Zephyr. See, some time before, Zephyr 'ad traveled deep underground ta 'elp secure a diamond mine for Johnson and Jonson from terrifyin' monsters. 'is reward from the Goddess o' Discord, 'oo's name we don' mention, cuz names 'ave power, was ta 'ave is soul banished away ta places unknown.   After that group returned with Zephyr's shell of a body, the Eirene, Priestess o' the True Moon, and Zephyr's paramour, was in a bad place, 'n sought assistance from Chris, Thor's Champion, in findin' 'er lover's spirit. They prayed 'n worshiped, they made the proper sacrifices, 'n eventually, Chris was granted the knowledge o' the precise location o' the vessel 'oldin' Zephyr. 'N with that knowledge they set about ta put together a force strong 'nuff ta go down into the Underdark, 'n bring 'im back.   Zephyr was apparently much loved, 'n a group o' ten adventurer's left the barrier. There were Eirene 'n Chris, the two Clerics; the Master of Aryvandaar, Kaecil; Arias, one o' the world's prominent experts on... well, just 'bout everythin'; the clever 'n beautiful, Mairena, 'er charm great enough that even giants seek 'er out ta give 'er gifts; Shinjitsu, still new in town, but brave 'n noble 'nuff ta risk 'is life fer a stranger; Eddie, the artificer; the quick o' wit, 'n even quicker o' foot, Cat McCloud; the blue 'alf orc sorceress, Lianna; 'n of course, one 'umble storyteller, yours truly.   We visited some allies, the Duergar, seeking their aid in findin' where Zephyr was bein' kept. On account o' them 'oldin Zephyr in 'igh regards, they teleported us 'bout 'alf way ta where we needed ta go, but we 'ad ta get ourselves the rest o' the way, the better part o' four 'undred miles, underground. On the first day travelin' through those tunnels, we came across a 'ole nest of purple worm eggs. I think Chris was gettin' 'ungry or somethin' cuz 'e fried up all those eggs, but uh, the big 'uns didn' take too kindly to it. Four of 'em popped outa the walls 'n floor. It was a tough fight, the worms swallowed a few of us, but we were able ta kill the monsters and get our friends out.   Over the following days we were beset by ropers 'n 'ook 'orrors, 'n some other smaller fights that'd just bore ya. Our route found us travelin' through some tight places, 'n eventually we found ourselves in some caverns lined with 'eadless corpses o' duergar 'n drow alike. As we continued, we found groups o' those folks alive, but actin' real weird. Some of 'em were diggin' out tunnels with their bare 'ands. Some of 'em were jus' walkin' in lines together.   Once we knew we were close ta where Zephyr was bein' kept, Arias took us to another sorta plane where Chris 'ad set up some preparations ta 'elp us. Well, after that, we didn' 'ave much futher ta go down the tunnels until we found Zephyr's keeper. Now this thing was terrifyin', 'n I seen some weird-ass shit 'round 'ere. I seen a fishman wizard that defied death. I seen the illithid, 'oo enslave kids 'oo don' do their chores 'n suck their brains outa their skulls. I even seen a 'ydra with a 'undred 'eads, easy. But this thing topped 'em all. It 'ad the body 'n wings of a dragon, but its face was a writhing mass o' tentacles.   It 'ad a couple o' minions but they fell quickly, 'n everyone focused on killin' the fearsome creature. Cloud with 'is gleamin' sword, Chris with 'is 'ammer o' lightnin', Eddie, unarmed except for their powerful metal fists, 'n Eirene desperately 'ealin them, bravely charged the beast. They got tangled up in its tentacles, but also kept it tied up so it couldn' go after the folks 'oo work better at a distance. Arias, Mairena, 'n Kaecil all kept up a constant barage o' spells 'n magic, 'n Shinjitsu was runnin' around cuttin' the thing up by throwin' strange pointed stars at it, 'n eventually, Kaecil launched a mighty disintigratin' spell at it, but much to our 'orror, despite fallin' the thing remained. It may o' been my imagination, but I'm pretty sure I even saw it take a breath.   We wrought our brains, tryin' ta figure out 'ow ta kill it. There was a tree in the chamber that seemed ta be anchorin' some sorta charmin' magic, so we destroyed it, but that still didn' do it. Fortunately, Eddie was able ta see inta its mind 'n find its weakness. It was not a creature of our plane. So before it could recover, Chris banished it back to where it came from.   After that, it was an easy matter ta find a worn box, labeled "Junk" which was where Zephyr 'ad been trapped. We took it back 'ome with us, 'n once back inside the barrier, we opened it, 'n Zephyr woke up.   The end.

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