Mount Derrière

Mount Derrière is the name given to a pair of sand-covered knolls in the Mira’s Well region of The Realm. The shape of the knolls and their proximity to one another calls to mind the shape of a well-rounded human bum.

Strangely, these knolls have been growing in size ever since their discovery. And even more strangely, their growth is entirely uniform. They get bigger, but they don’t change their overall shape. It’s as if the sister goddesses, Mira and Phina, understand how funny the sight is and they don’t want to ruin it.

Geography

Mount Derrière is comprised of two nearly identical knolls, each 137 feet in diameter and about 69 feet tall, with West Cheek standing just a few inches shorter than East Cheek.

The two cheeks are connected in the middle by a deep, narrow valley known by some as The Cleft and by others as The Crack.

Climate

As with the rest of Mira’s Well, Mount Derrière has a hot desert climate all year round. The heat is generally dry, except in The Cleft. Down there it can get positively swampy with humidity.

Fauna & Flora

Though the Cheeks of Mount Derrière are themselves fairly devoid of life, there is a cavern at the base which is believed to be home to all sorts of flora and fauna. We say “believed to be” because the odor which emanates from the cave is so strong, and the opening so narrow, that no one has ever gone in.

History

The Twin Cheeks of Mount Derrière were discovered during the First Age by the human explorer Dimitris the Wholesome. Despite his epithet, Dimi could not help but chuckle at the sight of this pair of glorious geological glutes. And that is how these hills came by their cheeky name.

Tourism

Climbing the Twin Cheeks is a popular tourist activity, but not one for the faint of heart. That said, if you’re in decent shape, the hike up and down these hills may leave you wiped—but at least it won’t leave you pooped!

Discovered By

Dimi the Wholesome

Type

My Butt

Location under

Mira’s Well