The Naming of Mount Dau-Sajhrashi
Have you looked at all the brochures about why the mountain is called Mount 'Your Mother' in Sazasharanare? I think it says something about it being 'what gave us here life' or some other kid-friendly bullshit. I mean that's true sure, but there's a deeper meaning. I'm feelin' drunk enough that I might let you in on the whole story.
Summary
Since the founding of Digger's Rock and Mount Dau-Sajhrashi, there have been theories about why Artosen Khandea II (Digger) named the mountain "Your Mother." Ordinary citizens and tourists are given their story on travel brochures and tourist agencies. Many travel agents plaster the story on their adventures boards.Mount Dau-Sajhrashi (translating to "Your Mother") is named for the care the mountain has given Digger's Rock and The Free Planet Federation as a whole. Many would say the FPF could not exist if it were not for this wonderous volcano and the gifts she brings. From exploring the wealth of her caves to the beauty of her slopes, there are many ways to enjoy this wondrous locale.
The Conspiracy
Many Locals spin bar stool tales to the tourists about the true nature of the name. Some say it was named after Artosen Khandea II (Digger)'s grandmother. Others say it was named after his love for the mountain, dubbing it 'the Mother' out of personal affection for its splendor.There are the rumors that the mountain was named as an elaborate joke in the vein of "Your Mother So Fat." Multiple sources discredit this rumor, and Artosen Khandea II (Digger) denies it in every interview that the topic comes up in.Truth of the matter is the name is probably the longest running joke I got now. You see I had this dude on my crew, Barnaby. I fuckin' hated Barnaby, a real schmooze you know? I had to drag his ass all the way up and down the mountain for a week. I was tired, I was pissed. I stopped the group at the base of the mountain. I said 'I know what we will name this massive mountain.'
They all looked at me with excitement, even ol' Barn has a smile on his stupid face. 'As this is the biggest mountain I've ever seen, I'm going to name it after the biggest woman I know, Barnaby's Mom.' I still remember watching his smile whip around into a scowl. The best.
The conspiracy of the true meaning still continues to the present day, millenia after the mountains original founding. The Naming of Mount Dau-Sajhrashi still holds as one of Perduro's mysteries.I remember I rode that joke the entire trip, even made it official with the name you hear today. I rode it for years, I even called him up the first time I went ash-boarding down the slopes. I called him up at the very bottom. 'Hey! Barnaby? It's Digger! I just finished taking a ride on your mom! She's a tough one!'
I didn't know it, but when I told him apparently his mom had been dead for a decade. Not that I felt bad, I simply shot back 'I know! You had to call me to dig a hole big enough to put her in!' I haven't been able to talk to him since.
So, there you go! You know the whole story. The Universe's largest 'Your Momma' Joke, I mean not as large as Barnaby's mom, but yeah you get it. Now have another damned drink, I gotta protect my little secret, so I'm gonna get you so wasted you'll forget all about it.
My co-authors seem to be using #SummerCamp for every opportunity to make me giggly. ...it's working. I loved this. Well done.
I highly enjoyed this as well!