Stan

Don't be a Stan

tan is the central antagonist in the Testament of Baldergash. He was the first sentient creature created by Baldergash on Excilior. It seems, from Baldergash's own words, that Stan was originally intended to keep him company while he finished creating the rest of the world. But by the time of the Witnesses, it's clear that Baldergash had rejected Stan and saw him as a corrupting force in the world.

Divine Domains

Death, Knowledge, Technology

Divine Symbols & Sigils

Stan is symbolized by a book - typically, a grand tome, leather bound, with locks and a great many pages. He is also represented by a torch or a lantern.

Divine Goals & Aspirations

n nearly all of the tales featuring Stan, his stated objective seems to be helping humankind. He specifically engages in activities designed to aid humans. He gives them knowledge to make their tasks easier. He provides tools and services that bring them closer to their goals. Granted, from Baldergash's perspective, and from the perspective of many folktale narrators, Stan's methods are seen as misguided - aberrant, even - but there is little doubt that Stan's repeated objective is to help humanity in all they hope to accomplish.

Partnership

Stan also seems interested in genuine partnership with humans. Much of his lore consists of him merely showing up, in some unexpected setting, and talking with people. In many of these tales, the narrator implies that Stan's objectives are evil or underhanded, but it can sometimes be difficult to tell from the direct prose just what, exactly, is so evil about his dialog.

Physical Description

General Physical Condition

Please spare me your ridiculous talk of Stan's supposed virtues. He looks absolutely hideous. If that's not solid proof of his wicked nature, then I don't know what is.
Tierri Groultart, Pontificous Rite of Baldergash Sparcsylver Witness, 3666 AoG

tan is always portrayed in a manner that most humans find repulsive. He's exceedingly obese (although some artwork attributes his girth more to underlying muscle than to fat). His grey, splotchy skin is reminiscent of something that would only live in the deeper reaches of cave networks. His bulbous head spans his stocky shoulders in such a way that he has no discernible neck. And it rests so low on his body that it reveals almost no sign of a chin.

Sickly

He wheezes, even when at rest, and is fond of smoke. For this reason, it's often assumed that he's slovenly or in ill health. However, there are no tales that actually describe him in any sort of serious physical activity. And he's generally believed to be immortal, so it's not certain if the idea of "ill health" really applies in this sense. He has a keen sense of self-awareness and understands, perfectly, how his appearance is perceived by humans. With this in mind, he takes exceeding care, whenever he is called into their presence, to assure that he does not scare them in any way. And he does everything in his power to make humans feel at-ease when he is near.

Body Features

ne of his most arresting features is his prodigious collection of moles. It's not simply that he has a great many moles. It's that the moles are entirely bizarre (by human standards), rising far off the skin in spindly towers of pink, shriveled skin.

Facial Features

tan's facial characteristics lead some to mistakenly characterize him as "dopey". His eyes are lidless, and seem too small for his head. He doesn't have a nose, in any traditional sense. He smells through two tiny nasal cavities that lie flat on his face. His ears are equally-featureless slits on either side of his head. His mouth is an amorphous cavern of bleeding gums, with a handful of stalagmite-like spikes rising through the pulp. His tongue appears too large for his mouth and often lolls outside the bounds of his razor-thin lips. When not engaged in conversation, his jaw often hangs agape, with the occasional line of drool dropping to his chest below.

Special abilities

(Presumed) immortality
Supernatural knowledge (or wisdom)
Teleportation

Apparel & Accessories

He is rarely depicted with any clothing. But when he is, it is a simple poncho of earthen tones draped loosely over his bulbous frame.

Mental characteristics

Failures & Embarrassments

Every time that you strive for your own achievement, you will find yourself closer to Stan, and farther from Baldergash.
Esau Knyvett, Pontificous Rite of Baldergash Sparcsylver Witness, 2994 AoR

lthough there's no indication that Stan ever views his initiatives as "failures", there is no doubt that the Testament of Baldergash works stridently to categorize him as such. Whether it is the testimony of Baldergash himself, or that of his many Witnesses, the tome goes to great lengths to highlight instances where humanity, in conjunction with Stan, endeavored to take matters into their own hands and raise their prospects without simply relying on Baldergash's benevolence. And in every case, these brash actions result in humanity simply worsening their own plight - a tragedy that can only be corrected by Baldergash's forgiving intervention. Some of these anecdotes include:

Humanity, with Stan's assistance, tries to find a cure for a devastating plague. But they only manage to strengthen the dreaded contagion and Baldergash saves them by eliminating the disease altogether.
Humanity, with Stan's assistance, tries to increase farming yields. But the improved crop strain works too well and starts to out-compete the natural vegetation of the surrounding forests, threatening to trigger an ecological collapse - until Baldergash steps in and reverts the crop to its previous form.
Humanity, with Stan's assistance, tries to develop stronger building materials. But the enhanced mortar has an unforeseen flaw that causes it to disintegrate several years after it's used. Humanity's newly-built towers begin to collapse, killing thousands, and Baldergash has to manually correct the chemical makeup of the humans' flawed structures.

These examples go on and on throughout the text, always highlighting how humanity's quest for knowledge - manifested in their partnership with Stan - always leads to their own demise. And how that demise can only be corrected through the benevolent grace of Baldergash. However, it should be noted that the "everything Stan touches turns to ruin" narrative is only consistent in the Testament of Baldergash. In later centuries, once Stan's own mythos and canon of folklore began to accumulate, these tales did not paint him as being nearly so incompetent. In fact, he is often credited with preempting horrible, potential tragedies before they ever came to pass, through diligent adherence to scientific acumen.

Intellectual Characteristics

tan is closely associated with supreme knowledge, although a careful reading of his lore indicates that he should more-likely be associated with supreme wisdom. He rarely grants any particular information to anyone. Rather, it seems that he works alongside humanity to achieve certain advancements. In some legends, it can be argued that Stan ultimately knows the answer and he's simply guiding the humans down a path that will allow them to discover the solution on their own - like a skilled teacher allowing their pupils to follow the trail to their own discovery. But in other legends, it's pretty clear that Stan doesn't actually have all the answers himself, and that he's truly partnering with his human colleagues as they all strive to find a solution.

Cognoscenti

Nevertheless, even if Stan doesn't ultimately have all the answers, he has a keen understand of the process one should use to systematically expose the answers. With this in mind, many who have analyzed the Testament of Baldergash believe that Stan was Kadir Ammanar's rhetorical stand-in for the cognoscenti - distrusted by many in the broader population, often devoid of social graces, but ultimately devoted to the systematic acquisition of empirical knowledge.

Morality & Philosophy

There is no greater indictment of the Pontificous Rite than the so-called "evil" that they have branded upon Stan.
Machidar Tetsu, Collian translator, 3232 AoG

o some ensconced in Baldergash's mythology, Stan is evil. After all, by the end of the Testament, Baldergash comes to use Stan's name as a sort of shorthand patois for "all that is wrong in this world". He repeatedly names evil practices or evil influences as "Tools of Stan". By the end of the text, it is clear that Stan is Baldergash's antithesis.

Altruist

Reading the legends of Stan alone - free from the overriding mythos of Baldergash - yields a much different picture. It is clear that Stan repeatedly encourages humanity to seek knowledge - in all its forms. And since this practice is antithetical to Baldergash's teachings, Stan can simply be categorized as "evil" through this narrow lens. But it's also clear, throughout all of Stan's folklore, that he never provides this aid nefariously. Nor is striving for some kind of hidden gain that will ultimately undermine the same people he purports to help. His assistance always seems to be offered for nothing but altruistic objectives. And with this in mind, it's difficult to characterize Stan as "evil" or as being morally corrupt in any obvious way.

Pacifist

For that matter, Stan never seems to be interested in any kind of direct confrontation, or conflict, with Baldergash. In fact, after the early entries of the Testament of Baldergash, there are no more scenes where Stan and Baldergash are known to be in each other's presence. Once Baldergash adopts "Stan" as another name for "sin", Stan's presence in the Testament becomes purely metaphorical. And that seems to be just fine with Stan. In all of the succeeding lore written around Stan, his approach seems to be almost agnostic to Baldergash. He is not girding for any "final battle" with Baldergash. In fact, he doesn't seem to be worrying about Baldergash's activities in any way. He just goes about his business, quietly aiding humanity where he can, and doing nothing (directly) to foster confrontation with his creator.

Personality Characteristics

Motivation

I'll give you ten Baldergashes. Just give me one good Stan.
Beatrize Burguette, Boucieian merchant, 3117 AoG

early every tale of Stan is of him providing some type of illicit assistance that may be frowned upon by devout interpreters of Baldergash's dogma. It's never explained exactly why Baldergash doesn't simply kill Stan. And since Baldergash is, supposedly, all-knowing and all-seeing, no one is entirely sure why Stan would even be allowed to tinker in the affairs of humanity. Nevertheless, the Testament of Baldergash contains numerous examples of Stan providing knowledge to the sheeple that would, eventually, come to infuriate Baldergash. Stan's support always appears to be benevolent in nature. He does not offer knowledge as a "trick". Nor does he lure unsuspecting humans into traps that would lead to some greater benefit for himself. He just seems to show up at certain times with information that is vital to humans' objectives. Since these objectives never seem to be aligned with any obvious reward for Stan, it's been generally assumed that he simply wants humanity to thrive.

Curious

It should be noted that Stan's illicit "knowledge" is never depicted as that of an all-knowing being who simply drops into the scene and gifts advanced secrets to the protagonists. In fact, it's something of a misnomer that he is associated with knowledge at all. His contributions in the folklore seem to be more accurately defined as wisdom. For example, he's not likely to drop into a cognoscenti's research and say, "Here's the answer to your problem." He's much more likely to sit alongside the inquiring mind and say, "What if you tried the experiment this way?" Or he could engage a monarch, on the verge of a momentous decree, with the following dialog: "Let's think about this. What are all the possible outcomes of this course of action?" Indeed, there are many tales where Stan is apparently working through the problem alongside the individual he's trying to help.

Social

Religious Views

he Testament of Baldergash makes it clear that Stan was created by Baldergash Sparcsylver. And all of Stan's legends indicate that he is perfectly aware of this dynamic. It is never claimed that Stan is somehow at with with, or in direct opposition to, Baldergash. Stan seems to regard his creator with a neutral eye. And at times, he even seems to speak with affection for the god. But he also seems immune to any adulation of his progenitor.

Agnostic

He does nothing to deny Baldergash's existence, or his rightful position as the all-powerful godhead. But neither is he ever depicted as honoring Baldergash with outright worship. While he is providing various forms of assistance to humanity, if he speaks of Baldergash at all, it is usually with the tone one reserves for a cranky older uncle who must simply, at this point, be tolerated.

Social Aptitude

You can have your eternity with Baldergash. I'd just like to empty a few mugs with Stan.
Marth Hoek, Pozian sailor, 3700 AoG

tan is surprisingly shy. He rarely engages with those who have not already sought his help. But when he does, he goes out of his way to keep his distance and make those around him comfortable. During those times when he allows himself to fully engage with humans, his demeanor is warm, inviting, friendly, and self-deprecating. He enjoys silly jokes and puns - the sort that cannot reasonably offend anyone. Although he's generally assumed to be a distant force that rarely interjects himself in the daily affairs of humanity, he has been reported to take a liking to some individuals. Nefarious legends speak of people who have leveraged Stan's illicit knowledge over the course of years - or decades - to better their own fortunes and undermine the teachings of Baldergash Sparcsylver.

Mannerisms

tan's mannerisms are best described as: unassuming. Although he looks nothing like a regular human, he does not act in any way that is typical for a demon or other supernatural type of being. His gait is characterized as a waddle. He breathes heavily - the type of wheeze associated with obesity or illness. He seems to be aware that humans view him as hideous, and goes out of his way - through his actions and his gestures - to make them feel relaxed and unthreatened.

Hobbies & Pets

tan adores a good game of Nits & Naughts and implores the other characters in his stories to engage in protracted matches, typically accompanied by tasty food and strong drink.

He is fond of neirleaf and is often shown with a pipe in his mouth, pondering great mysteries as he savors the smoke. Some legends indicate that Stan can be summoned by sitting alone, in the forest or some other secluded area, and smoking a neirleaf pipe, while leaving a packed, unused pipe nearby.

Speech

tan's diction is always portrayed as being jarringly colloquial. Although his depiction in the Testament of Baldergash definitely indicates that he has traits common to deities (he is presumably immortal, he can teleport wherever he chooses, he possesses supernatural knowledge, etc.), he never speaks with the flowery verbiage often associated with god-figures in religious codices. Rather, he speaks as the commonfolk. He affects a self-deprecating, "aww-shucks" sort of air. He is never haughty or gloating. When he laughs, it is not with an overpowering roar or cackle. It is more of a friendly chuckle. More often than not, he comes across as downright humble and unassuming.

Wealth & Financial state

tan is never depicted with any association to wealth or items of monetary value. He doesn't seem to have any interest in money for his own personal benefit, although he has been documented to aid protagonists who are seeking wealth for themselves.

Pronunciation

STANN

Divine Classification

Demon

Religions

Pontificous Rite of Baldergash Sparcsylver

Circumstances of Birth

Called into existence by Baldergash Sparcsylver

Children

Gender

Depicted as male, although it's not known if he actually has a gender, as humans understand the term

Eyes

Abnormally small, with bloodshot pupils that range from purple, to red, to black

Hair

Completely hairless

Skin Tone/Pigmentation

Grey, with blotchy green patches reminiscent of moss

Height

1.4m (estimated)

Weight

180kg (estimated)