This Bed Ain't Big Enough for Both of Us

“…mmy.”

Emilia was slightly dislodged from her stupor. Her eyes briefly fluttered open. Seeing the world around her was still dark, she closed them again.

“Emmy.”

Emilia buried her head into her pillow, attempting to ignore the now too familiar sound of Valna attracting her attention at some ungodly hour.

“Emmy?” Valna gave her a nudge.

Emilia gave a defeated sigh. “What is it, Valna?”

“I heard a weird noise outside!” Valna worriedly explained.

“Valna, this is the third time tonight,” Emilia complained.

“I know! Scary, huh?” Valna responded, prompting another sigh from Emilia.

Valna had, through years of training, enhanced her already superior elven hearing to the point where she could effortlessly pick up on suspicious sounds even from a fair distance away. This was, of course, a tremendous boon in the rugged forests she had grown up in, as well as the many nights they had spent camping out in the wilderness. It was not nearly as much of a boon in the bustling city of Waterdeep, where strange distant noises at strange times really were the norm. Even after months in this environment Valna struggled to not immediately go on high alert upon hearing a suspicious sound, much to the chagrin of her roommate.

“Alright, what did you hear?” Emilia flatly asked.

“It was like a weird low gurgle, like a beast rising from a swamp!” Valna passionately described.

“And how far away was it?” Emilia continued.

“Umm, maybe... a thousand feet away?” Valna estimated.

“Alright,” Emilia reasoned, “let’s assume for a moment that this wasn’t just the sound of a bubbling cistern or something similar, and that it really was some hostile creature that just rose from the ground in the middle of this well-defended large city. Now, seeing as this sound was a fair few streets away, do you think it might be a little unlikely for this creature to ignore every other building in the city and head directly towards ours, somehow get in, and then head directly up into the attic? And even if it did, do you not think you might have heard it coming closer if you could hear it from so far away?”

“I guess not,” Valna conceded.

“Do you feel a little better?” Emmy asked, a bit more tenderly.

“I guess so,” Valna responded.

“Excellent,” Emmy concluded, snuggling back into bed.

“Emmy?”

“Mmf,” Emilia replied, her head buried into her pillow.

“Can I… get back into bed with you?” Valna tentatively asked.

Emilia lifted her head up one last time. “Valna, it’s your bed too.”

As Valna crept beneath their sheets, Emilia reflected a little on how she ended up in this situation. If Sariel had told her that she’d be sharing a bed with someone else when first proposing the idea of joining the Arrowheads to her, she might have walked out immediately. Instead, Sariel talked about how she had spent most of her adventuring money buying a tavern, and that Emilia was welcome to stay in it free of charge while a member of her adventuring party. Again, had Emilia known Sariel meant she could stay in the tavern’s tiny attic, with three rooms and three beds between five people, she probably wouldn’t have agreed to anything. Instead, it wasn’t until she arrived at the tavern that she discovered not only would she be sharing such a tiny space, but that the one single bed had already been claimed by Sariel’s sister Enna! Since Sariel and her girlfriend were logically sharing a bed, Emilia had been forced to cohabit with the other remainder, Valna.

All things considered, however, Valna made a perfectly acceptable roommate. It was admittedly rare that Emilia got a full night’s sleep uninterrupted by Valna alerting her to some distant noise, but besides that Emilia truly had no complaints. As an elf, Valna did not so much sleep as she engaged in a meditative trance – what the elves called ‘reverie’. This took only four hours, so Valna was usually more than happy to let Emilia get comfortable and drift off to sleep before joining her in their two-person bed (as a hopefully decent roommate herself, Emilia always endeavoured to give her ample space regardless). Valna also possessed a semblance of modesty, a rare trait among the Arrowheads which Emilia greatly appreciated. The two would typically take turns changing into their bedclothes while the other waited outside the room – Emilia couldn’t imagine many of the others in the group offering that same courtesy. They weren’t bad or even necessarily inconsiderate people, just completely detached from any pretences of modesty, at least from her perspective. She liked Sariel, Nathxena, and Enna, but she certainly wouldn’t want to share a room with them! So really, despite all the interrupted sleeps, she was honestly quite content with her bedding situation.

***

Enna was not quite content with her bedding situation. She tossed and turned, or at least tried to without falling out of her little bed. When she had first moved into this little attic area with the other Arrowheads, she claimed the only single-person room for herself. That was, of course, the sensible decision: she’d have the most space, peace, and privacy possible while doing her many small magical experiments. But over the weeks upon weeks she had spent in the room, she had grown to despise the bed.

It was just too small! Enna wasn’t the most fidgety sleeper, but she still liked to move around a little bit to get comfortable, and when she tried that in this bed she found herself almost falling off it! She was also the tallest of the five girls, admittedly only by an inch or so, and the bed was just short enough that she had to bend her knees ever so slightly to not touch the end of its frame. She didn’t even notice the little bend in her knees to begin with, but now it was all she could think about when she was trying to get to sleep and it was slowly driving her crazy.

She had tried to enlarge the bed magically a couple times, but the attempts usually either backfired or didn’t last even one night’s sleep. She had also had a little look inside Emmy and Valna’s room a few days ago when they were both out, and it seemed like half of their bed had more space than her whole one, which was just blatantly unfair. Come to think of it, Enna did remember Emmy complaining about not getting her own room when they first moved in – she’d probably be willing to trade places. It was certainly something Enna would consider, although it would probably be a hassle to move all her-

Enna’s thoughts were interrupted as she tumbled out of the bed. She heard the soft squelch of some material component getting crushed under her.

“That’s it,” she muttered, “I’m swapping with Emmy.”

***

“You’re not swapping with me,” Emilia declared.

“What?” Enna was a bit more surprised than Emilia expected. Enna had rushed up to her just as she was leaving to get some things for her breakfast, and requested out of the blue that they switch rooms.

“I’m quite happy in my room, thank you very much,” Emilia reiterated.

“I remember you complaining a lot about not getting my room when we first moved in,” Enna reminded her.

“Perhaps I did,” Emilia conceded, “but now I’ve very much made peace with that. I really don’t see any reason so switch.” She thought for a moment. “Why do you suddenly want to switch, anyway?”

“Because my bed is awful!” Enna admitted. “It’s too short and it’s too narrow and I can’t stretch in it, and I’m just sick of it!”

“Ah,” Emmy responded. She felt a slight smirk creep across her face. “Not much incentive for me to switch then, is there?”

She left Enna stewing as she went to get her breakfast.

***

Emilia returned to the attic around fifteen minutes later. As she laid her little breakfast spread on the small communal table, she spotted a flash of auburn in the doorway of her and Valna’s room, just before the door shut in front of her. She swung the door open and hurried into the room, only to see Enna standing there, dropping a bundle of her things on the floor.

“What’s going on?” Emilia demanded.

“Oh, hey again Emmy,” Enna replied calmly. “I’m just moving my things into the room.”

“What? I told you we weren’t switching!” Emilia reminded her.

“I know,” Enna responded, continuing to put her things away.

Emilia was dumbfounded. “Wha- But- Then why are you moving your things?!”

“Oh Emmy,” Enna began, quite patronisingly. “I didn’t switch with you. I switched with Valna.”

“What?!”

“Hey, Emmy!” Valna’s voice called out from behind as she entered the door. “I’m just moving my things-“

“Traitor!” Emilia called out, spinning around to face her. “Why did you do it?”

Enna spoke up. “I simply explained to Valna the troubles I was having with my bed, how it was slightly too short for me and how I couldn’t move around as much as I needed to for a good night’s sleep. Since she only needs to trance and only for four hours, we both agreed it would be smarter if we switched. Plus, of course, it means Valna doesn’t have to worry about waking you up if she wants to do things after her trance.”

“It really doesn’t bother me, Valna,” Emilia said, slightly pleadingly. “You don’t have to switch.”

“That’s okay, Emmy!” Valna said reassuringly. “I think Enna is right, it is just better for all three of us!”

“But… I don’t think I could share a room with Enna,” Emilia admitted.

“Well…” Enna delivered her coup de grace. “You could always switch with Valna.”

Emilia suppressed a glare. “I’ll deal with this later,” she muttered, and stormed out of the room.

***

Emilia tried to distract herself with her breakfast. As usual, it was a meal she ate on her own – her friends in the Arrowheads tended to forego meals and just eat when and whenever they were hungry. Emilia was not wholly convinced all of them knew eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner was a fairly standard prospect and not just ‘an Emmy thing’, as they’d put it. Emilia truly didn’t mind eating alone; it certainly beat the many silent meals she was forced to share with her father in her youth.

She had purchased the same things for breakfast she got every day for breakfast in Waterdeep: one savoury roll, one sweet roll, two slices of cheese, two slices of ham, a knob of butter, and one small jar of whatever jam or preserve was available – the variation there adding that tiny spark of chaos. She also brought a jug of milk with her. Though she only drank about one cup each morning, her colleague Nathxena would usually finish the rest of the jug by midday – the half-drow was utterly obsessed with the stuff. As Emilia buttered her savoury roll, she glared at a passing Enna carrying yet another load of tat into her room. Usually this breakfast ritual brought her a tremendous amount of satisfaction, but today she couldn’t quite quell her anger at Enna.

“Finished your share of the milk?” a bleary voice appeared behind her. Nathxena, having emerged from her room, sat down at the communal table. Emilia slid the jug of milk over.

“I cannot believe her! The absolute nerve!” Emilia complained.

Nathxena sighed loudly. “What is it this time?” she flatly asked.

“Well, first thing this morning Enna rushes up to me and demands we switch rooms because her bed is so terrible.”

“Heh, that sounds like something she’d do,” Nathxena responded. “So you said yes, right? Sounds like a great deal for you.”

“Oh, obviously,” Emilia sarcastically agreed. “So I go and fetch breakfast, and when I get back here Enna is in the process of moving things out of her room and into mine!”

“No way!” Nathxena’s eyes widened. “She didn’t actually just try to switch rooms anyway, did she?”

“Not quite,” Emilia clarified. “Apparently while I was out, she convinced Valna to switch rooms with her instead!”

Nathxena, having just taken a big gulp of milk, waited a moment before speaking. “…So?”

“So now I’m suddenly expected to share a room with Enna of all people, and nobody even asked me about it! And when I brought it up, Enna said I should just swap with Valna and take the tiny bed myself!” Emilia replied indignantly.

“So in other words,” Nathxena drily replied, “two people mutually agreed to swap rooms, and you’re annoyed because it affects you a little bit.”

“I… I suppose that’s one perspective,” Emilia sheepishly replied.

“So, uh, are you gonna swap with Valna?” Nathxena inquired.

“No!” Emilia sharply responded. “Then she wins!”

“Em, I think she’s already won,” Nathxena flatly responded. “But good luck, I guess.”

***

Enna gave a contented sigh as she stretched her legs out on her new bed, prompting a quiet scoff from her new roommate. Enna didn’t mean to annoy Emmy, or rub in the fact that this was her room now, but she couldn’t hide just how nice it was to be able to stretch out or roll around on her own bed. She and Valna had spent most of their day moving their things between the two rooms, and it was nice to finally relax on the fruits of her labour.

Enna was surprised by just how much bigger her old room had looked with all of Valna’s things in them instead of her numerous experiments and components cluttering the place. Now all those experiments were crammed against the wall in her new room, facing across from Emmy’s neat and tidy belongings. Enna had made some attempts at keeping her things a little tidy – she knew Emmy liked things to be clean and orderly, and didn’t want to antagonise her roommate too much if she did decide not to swap with Valna after all. Honestly, Enna admired her tenacity. For all the complaining she had overheard, Emmy was still here in the room, obviously annoyed but still being fairly-

“Get out.” Emmy interrupted her thoughts.

“Sorry Emmy,” Enna calmly responded, “this is my room now and I’m not planning on swapping back.”

“What? No, I mean, go out to the common area so I can get changed,” Emmy clarified.

“Get changed?” Enna asked. “Isn’t it a little late for that?”

“A little late? I want to get changed into my nightclothes.” Emmy explained.

“Night clothes? Are you going out?” Enna asked.

“Oh gods,” Emmy tilted her head back. “No, no, nightclothes! For sleeping in?”

Special clothes to sleep in? Humans truly had some strange customs.

“You can just change now, Emmy. I don’t mind,” Enna reassured her.

“I do!” Emmy protested, then her voice softened a bit. “Valna and I always used to wait outside for each other… Please, afford me the tiniest bit of dignity.”

“Okay, okay,” Enna conceded, forcing herself off the bed. “Just let me know when you’re done.”

Enna made her way into the empty common room, closing the door behind her. She decided that, while she was waiting, she might as well get into her own ‘night clothes’. She loosened the laces on either side of her dress, and slipped out of it in one swift motion, leaving her in her underclothes. Perfect for sleeping in. After a little wait, she heard Emmy call from the other side of the door.

“Alright, Enna, you can come back in.”

Emmy continued talking as Enna slowly opened the doors.

“Thank you, I really do appreciate the- WOAH!” Emmy frantically covered her eyes with her hands, as her pale cheeks flushed a vibrant red. She was dressed in a loose, flowing robe – very uncharacteristic of her, Enna thought.

“What are you wearing?” Enna inquired.

“P-put some clothes on! Or… or get under the sheets! Then we can talk!” Emmy demanded. Enna didn’t need to be told twice.

“Okay, I’m under the sheets,” Enna announced. Emmy tentatively lowered her hands from her eyes. “Now answer my question, what are you wearing?”

“It’s a nightgown,” Emmy said matter-of-factly.

“A night gown?” Enna queried. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a gown before! I thought you only liked to wear boring pants.”

“Well, we haven’t been to any upper-class balls, have we,” Emmy muttered. “Besides, a nightgown is different.”

“I don’t know why you bother with it, Emmy,” Enna admitted. “I’ve been wearing my underclothes to bed and I’ve never had any trouble.”

“Evidently,” Emmy icily responded.

“Aren’t you ready to sleep yet?” Enna asked, yawning.

“…I suppose I am,” Emmy responded, stifling a yawn.

“Then what are you waiting for?” Enna prompted, patting the mattress next to her.

“Well, I, um,” Emmy struggled, “hmph. Fine.” She stroppily made her way over to the bed, pulling the sheets over her, and turning her back to Enna.

“Good night, Emmy,” Enna said.

“I doubt it,” Emmy responded, and blew out the candle next to her bed, plunging them into darkness.

***

A few days had passed since Enna and Valna had switched rooms, and Emilia was giving up hope that things would return to normal. Enna seemed perfectly comfortable in her new room despite Emilia’s cold reception, as the clutter from her experiments threatened to encroach on Emilia’s side of the room. More shocking to Emilia was that Valna seemed to be coping with the change as well. Emilia had half expected Valna to knock on her door in the middle of the night after hearing some loud creak or gurgle a block away and ask if she could keep her company, but the elf seemed to be taking the move remarkably well. As another night crept up on her, and after the usual rigamarole where Enna would enter the room practically naked after Emilia changed into her nightgown and then take her time settling in under the sheets, Emilia had to concede she was beaten.

“Okay, Enna, you win,” she conceded.

“Huh?” Enna responded.

“Well, there clearly isn’t much I can do to convince you to move back into your old room, so tomorrow morning I’ll offer to switch rooms with Valna.” Emilia somberly stated.

“Why are you switching rooms with Valna?” Enna asked, to Emilia’s confusion.

“That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?” Emilia responded, now quite unsure.

“Why would I want that?” Enna exclaimed.

“What? Well, firstly, you’d have the big bed to yourself for most of the night, and secondly, perhaps more significantly, you told me to switch with Valna!” Emilia elaborated.

“I said you could switch with Valna, if you didn’t want to share the bed with me,” Enna clarified. “I never cared about having the big bed to myself, I just wanted to get into the big bed in the first place! Honestly, I’m glad you haven’t switched with Valna yet. I’ve heard her knocking on Sariel and Xena’s door in the early hours of the morning to check up on random noises she’s heard.”

“Oh yes, she tends to do that,” Emilia confirmed. She supposed Sariel and Nathxena’s room must now be closer than her own.

“I think that if I was sharing a room with her she’d be waking me up, and I’d prefer it if that didn’t happen!” Enna continued. “But seriously, Emmy, has sharing a room with me really been that bad? I mean, sure, I probably take up more space than Valna did, and I know because you’re such an exceptional prude you freak out over my underclothes, but you’ve been sleeping through the whole night. I’ve noticed that these last couple days you’ve seemed to be a bit more aware and energetic on the field, and those black rings around your eyes aren’t nearly as big. It looks to me that you’ve been getting a much better sleep over these past couple of days than you ever got when you were sleeping with Valna, and that’s really what you want out of someone you’re sleeping with, right?”

Emilia paused for a moment. “I really wish you worded that last part differently,” she began. “But, more importantly, I really feel I must apologise. I’ve been tremendously rude and disrespectful to you over these past couple of days. I’ve selfishly made a scene over something that, while it did partially affect me, was ultimately neither my decision nor my business, and… may in fact have been beneficial to me. Ultimately, I have let you down, and more importantly, I have let myself down.”

“Oh, you worry too much!” Enna responded.

“I just want you to know I’m sorry!” Emilia exclaimed. “I got truly worked up over this despite all my better senses and sensibilities, and I was needlessly hostile to you and Valna. And despite all my protests, you’ve been nothing but a good roommate, even if you could clean up after yourself more often. I just guess that, umm… Deep down that I… um…”

“Fear change?” Enna butted in. Emilia exhaled. “I thought I’d save some time and say it for you. But seriously, Emmy, I accept your apology. Now, are you fine with us staying roommates?”

“No,” Emilia bluntly replied.

“No?”

“No,” Emilia repeated. “Not at all. Unless…” she paused for effect, then a slight smile appeared on her face. “…you let me buy you a nightgown.”

“You know what, Emmy?” Enna smiled. “It’s a deal.”

As the two of them shook hands and Emilia settled into the bed, the mattress made a strange low creak as their weights shifted around. Hopefully Valna wouldn’t mind.