Buying the bride/groom

Wedding traditions in the past

This is one of the oldest traditions that has its roots in ancient times. The families back then were different from the families today, which affected many traditions, including the ones related to the weddings. As we can assume from the ancient documents, families then were smaller, less connected and valued money over relationships. With relationships viewed more through monetary value and ownership, children, especially girls, would be viewed as their parents property. Because of this it was customary for a young man to have to ask the woman’s parents for permission to marry their daughter, and offer a proper monetary compensation as well. This would usually be offered in the form of an engagement ring that would, of course, have to be of appropriate value. The bride and her parents agreeing to the marriage wasn’t as much dependent on the relationship they had, but much more on the size of the diamond on the engagement ring.

This of course could go both ways. If the woman was the one to propose to the man she would have to offer him and his family an appropriate amount of money for marriage as well. In this case she wouldn’t offer the groom and his family an engagement ring, but a sum of money or other goods, which was commonly referred to as “dowry”. Again though, the marriage wasn’t about love but more about monetary gain.

Wedding traditions today

Somehow, this tradition persisted to present day and is still practiced in certain areas of East T@Ö#Å3. Today there aren’t any significant differences between genders, but commonly whoever is proposing is to haggle with their partner's parents for their son or daughter. They would offer a sum of money, goods or an engagement ring to their partner’s parents and come to an agreement about the sum of money or other goods they are to pay in exchange for permission to marry their partner.

But with the families being different today, this tradition is quickly falling out of favor. Our relationships aren’t as focused on money and ownership, and marriage isn’t seen anymore as “transfer of ownership” as it was in the past. Today you are marrying into your partner’s family and all it matters is that you fit in with their group. You have to prove your dedication and loyalty to the entire family and this isn’t something that can be bought. Additionally, people leave their parents to form these new families with their own people, so asking parents for permission to marry their kid would be pretty pointless.

This tradition is now only practiced among the rich that still do value money, and the gifts aren’t necessarily offered to the parents, but to whoever the leader of the partner’s family is. The tradition is there to show that whoever is proposing is of a proper social status and worthy of marrying their partner, but has become more or a symbolic thing in general. Serious haggling will happen extremely rarely and even that mostly between fairies and drag queens where the other person’s status actually matters. Generally the one proposing would only offer an engagement ring or another gift as a symbolic gesture, but no one actually cares that much about the value of the gift anymore.

Future of the tradition

This tradition will probably still persist among fairies and drag queens, but is quickly falling out of favor with everyone else. Even the rich know that love is more important than money and are only partaking in this tradition in a symbolic manner. This tradition is now more of an outdated remnant of the ancient times, and even many who still partake in it don’t know its history and true ancient traditions related to it.