How moles see ancient humans

Our today’s species has evolved from an ancient species of humans. While they were similar to us in many ways, they were significantly different in other ways. Today, ancient humans are mainly seen as uncultured barbarians, and their story is a warning for the generations to come. It’s no wonder their civilization was destroyed so tragically, and we must never repeat their mistakes.

The differences between them and us can be seen in many different categories, and here are some of them:

Physiology

Appearance wise, humans were not too different from us. Though their skin was better adapted to the sunlight than ours, they are generally known to be a feeble, sicky species. They would easily fall ill or get injured, and curing them requires much more time and effort than for moles. Lifespans were much shorter and mortality was much higher. Faith healers were even more rare than they are today. No surprise here, they were very out of touch with their Gods.

Bloodthirst

Ancient humans were an extremely brutal species. They killed and ate animals and even other people. They used their furs and skins to make clothing, accessories and many other items. Unsurprisingly, crime rates were much higher than even the ones in T@Ö#Ä3 today. Though there isn’t much direct proof of it, many historians agree that human meat restaurants were a common sight in every bigger town of the ancient world. Supposedly each of these restaurants has a dungeon beneath it, where they kept their victims that they would later serve to their guests. Not only that, but even extensive online archives could be found where people would discuss human meat, share recipes and even find their next meal. Making clothing and furniture out of human skin was also a pretty common occurrence.

Relationships

It’s clear by now that humans didn’t treat each other too well. Even when they weren’t killing each other, they didn’t seem to care much for each other. They lived in much smaller families, and didn’t even know BFF marriages. They only married their romantic partners, and even those marriages often ended in divoce. They treated their friends, partners and even family as disposable, easily replaceable and not as someone of much value. They didn’t put much effort into helping them out in tough times either. When their close ones found themselves in trouble, that was the time they usually cut them off and left them behind.

They didn’t treat their dead very well either - they buried them in the ground, preventing them from progressing on into the afterlife. For some reason this is something they were particularly passionate about to the point they even installed metal bars on graves to be extra sure they won’t escape. It is widely believed that it’s the souls of these people who are still trapped in Haunted Forest today.

Intelligence

Humans were obviously intelligent enough to obtain much knowledge and create inventions that we still use today. If it wasn’t for them, even we wouldn’t be here today, so we at least have to thank them for that. But though they were certainly smart enough to create and invent many great things, they didn’t have the common sense of how to use them. Sooner or later, they started misusing each of their inventions only to their detriment.

Emotions

But when it comes to their emotional intelligence, it’s a whole other story. They were very out of touch with their emotions, and having them was seen as something shameful. Crying in public or even laughing too loud? Forget about it! Enjoying the company of your BFF? Well we already covered the fact that they didn’t even know BFF marriages. Fun, sadness, anger, care for others were all to be bottled up until they broke out as a myriad of mental health issues. Which you were supposed to bottle up as well. We to this day aren’t sure if the ancient humans didn’t have Inner Fairies, or were they just so out of touch with them that they didn’t even know about them. They certainly lived their lives as if they lost both of their inner fairies.

Gods

Ancient people /were/ in touch with their gods at some point, but like everything else, they screwed that up too. As much as the Gods tried to keep in touch, people eventually started ignoring them, and making up their own minds about what their Gods may or may not want. Though none of what they made up was true at all, they very seriously used it only to cause trouble and pit everyone against each other. Unsurprisingly, Gods slowly abandoned the world one by one, until the last ones decided to destroy the world altogether.

Maybe it’s because of this that Glitter God and Satan make a special point to stay heavily involved with people’s lives, for better or for worse. And we all know which one is better and which one is worse. Mhm.

In Conclusion

We could go on and on about every aspect of their lives here, from how they would smoke random weed plants found growing at the sides of the road, to the fact they ate washing detergent to a number of different weird shit they did, but I think that the reader has the idea of just how messed up species the humans were. Probably the only tradition worth keeping in the present day is the one where the men dressed up as women were considered royalty and were given a title of a queen. At least in one area of life they didn’t completely and utterly fail. But all in all, we should be grateful that our species has evolved and progressed, and achieved an obvious superiority.