Slimes (Sly-ms)

Slimes are biologically immortal, in that everything that would be a disease to kill them, instead empowers them. The only thing that really kills them is fire, but it only slowly kills them, as it turns their liquid into gas, which goes into the atmosphere, and is whisked away into so many different places, it is literally atomized. Slashing at a slime with a sword is about as effective as cutting a stick of butter into two; you now just have two smaller butters. Sure, the butter is less likely to hurt you now, but it still is butter, a nightmare to the lactose intolerant. 
Slimes are kind of sentient, and they are always looking to get bigger. The more molecules they have, the more they are able to digest, which is problematic, but they also become less dexterous and easier to hit, which is nice. As they get smaller, they are less dangerous but harder to get rid of - but once they're the size of sugar cubes, no one gives a fuck anyways. 

	Sugar Cubes	Toaster Ovens	Ikea Boxes	Shipping Containers	4 Bed 2 Baths	Estates
Acrobatics	243	81	27	9	3	1
Athletics	243	81	27	9	3	1
Charisma	27	9	3	1	0	0
Constitution	243	81	27	9	3	1
Deception	81	27	9	3	1	0
Dexterity	243	81	27	9	3	1
Health	10	30	90	270	810	2430
Insight	27	9	3	1	0	0
Intelligence	27	9	3	1	0	0
Animal handling (oops)	81	27	9	3	1	0
Arcana (oops)	243	81	27	9	3	1
Intimidation	81	27	9	3	1	0
Investigation	27	9	3	1	0	0
Mana	10	30	90	270	810	2430
Medicine	243	81	27	9	3	1
Nature	243	81	27	9	3	1
Perception	81	27	9	3	1	0
Performance	81	27	9	3	1	0
Persuasion	27	9	3	1	0	0
Religion	81	27	9	3	1	0
Sleight of Hand	27	9	3	1	0	0
Stealth	243	81	27	9	3	1
Strength	243	81	27	9	3	1
Survival	243	81	27	9	3	1
Will	10	30	90	270	810	2430
Wisdom	81	27	9	3	1	0
Agile	5	4	3	2	1	0
Slippery	6	5	4	3	2	1
History (fucking ooops)	81	27	9	3	1	0

Share this file with player characters who have a combined arcana and nature of 15 or higher.
For Shamans: Asepct of Slime
+3 Nature, +3 Survival, +3 Arcana
When you die, you lose your ability to be a shaman instead, but come back with your nature, survival, and arcana multiplied by 3, an effect which will be applied retroactively as you gain more points. You lose all your shaman perks, and they are not replaced. 
Slimes are immune to poison, but take double damage from fire.
When a slime dies, it splits into 3 versions of the stage below it. If a sugar cube dies, it becomes atomized and ceases to exist, but the atoms will reincarnate any equipment that it had swallowed.
When you hit a slime with a weapon, roll a d20. On a crit fail your weapon is consumed by the slime, giving it the respective regrowth stats.
When you hit a slime with a spell, roll a d20. On a crit fail, you lose mana anyway, and the slime gets a regrowth stack.

Attacks:
The slime only has one attack, which is to jump at something. When it makes contact with it, it rolls a d20 for each level of size it is (sugar cubes roll only a single d20 on hits, estates roll 6.) On crits, they consume a piece of armor or weapon at random, and gain a stack of regrowth. If it is legendary, it gets an additional stack. If it is enchanted, it gets an additional stack. At 3 regrowth stacks, it progresses to the next size. The equipment is only lost for as long as the slime is alive, however, lower level beings may not have a way to realistically ever kill the slime, so it's as good as lost forever. 
Accuracy: Acrobatics
Dodge: Dexterity d12 + Slippery
Damage: 2d20/3d20/4d20/5d20/6d20/7d20