"Go and tell the world about me. Because of you, I was dead, but now I live. I've got to go now for a little while--but goodbye is not the end." ~scribbles in the Marduk Journal, writer (between Mamnen or Atka) unknown   Atka has used the phrase before, and likely will again. Her views on the subject are unclear to most; however, when probed, she doesn't talk about death as permanence.

I sometimes try to convince myself that I've made my peace with death. That always seems like wishful thinking to me, though. A vain attempt at courage in the face of uncertainty. The truth is, I believe every warrior, every being, fears what lies in the unknown of death, and try to cope with it as we may, it is an uncertainty we must accept, live with, and learn to overcome in its inevitability lest we succumb to the paralyzing dread it so easily casts upon us. Even the mightiest angels, devils, and demons fear obliteration. To the fiends, I've gathered that the return to the Abyss or the 9 Hells is preferable to the possibility of the void. And to angels, the opposite. Still, there remains that doubt, and I find that to be only natural despite how it might inhibit our courage. In some cases, it may even inspire it.   Since living as a man, I've been privileged to know a number of different cultures and individuals within them. One stands out in my mind when I think of death. His name was Herger, a jovial barbarian of the northern tribes of Ten Towns. I accompanied his caravan on its way home from a trade voyage to Luskan. During that journey, we fought together against goblins, orcs, and yetis, and upon celebrating our successful trip, he imparted to me his thoughts on the subject.   "The gods wove the skein of your life a long time ago. Go hide in a hole if you wish, but you won't live a moment longer. Your fate is fixed. Therefore, fear profits man nothing. When death comes for you, make death earn your soul knowing you lived well, and died better."   We drank well that night, though he far better than I as I was eager to return to Neverwinter and Zora. However, what he said resonated in my soul, taking me back to Celestia and how his logic still applied there. I was at peace knowing I could die, my soul captured by Hell. I was fighting for a noble cause. Protecting my home and the divinity of Heaven was worth giving my life, my very soul for. I'd just hoped I'd take as many fiends with me as I could before I was overcome.   Now, as I remember Herger's words, it feels very much the same. I can die well knowing I give my life for Zora or some of the companions I've come to know since coming to Waterdeep. I still fear what lies beyond. For decades I've believed, and I still do, that Asmodeus and Hell won't let me go. I may fight and fight well, perhaps even earn Torm's approval that he may look after Zora and those I've come to care about. But in the end, Celestia won't accept me for what I am, and Hell will gladly take me for the same reasons. My soul is mine, but its fate is uncertain to me. I'm afraid of that.   But I would rather face that fear and whatever end comes to me knowing I stood strong and proud in spite of it all. Death and Hell can have me when they earn me, and those that would do evil will know my wrath before the end.