Finethir's Bag of Delicious and Nutritious Transmutation

It's technically food!

— Finethir Shinebright, transmutation wizard

Appearance

A large canvas sack with a silk rope drawstrings and several unidentifiable stains. Looking inside shows an extradimensional space filled with whirring gears, conveyor belts, and other machinery.

Mechanics

Wondrous Item, Uncommon

This bag can transmute organic material into a bland & unsatisfying (but edible) gel.

The bag must first be loaded with the organic remains of one medium or larger creature, two small creatures, or 150 lbs of organic material (i.e. manure, compost, etc). Once loaded, a creature can use an action to touch the bag and expend a 1st level spell slot to provide the magical energy required to power the transmutation. If not activated within one minute of being loaded, the bag expels all organic material on the ground nearby.

Once activated, the bag whirs and shakes for 1 minute, then expels ten tubes of flexible metal onto the ground containing the edible gel. Each tube of gel weighs 0.5 lbs and provides as much nourishment as 1 day of rations and adequate water for hydration. The gel cannot be made to taste better by any mundane means, nor any spell short of wish. The gel loses all nutritional value if not consumed within 24 hours of being created.

The tubes are each decorated in bright, garish colors. They have the words "Finethir's Soylent Gel: It's People!" written in block letters next to a picture of a smiling Finethir giving a thumbs up.

History

This item was created by Finethir Shinebright to reward the adventurers who saved him from an eternity as a polymorphed sheep. He's...still working out the kinks.