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A Humorous Essay on Ahsi

Photocopy of the Handwritten Essay

Transcription and Teacher's Notes

Teacher corrections are not on the handwritten copy due to limited space, instead I've added them here as tooltips .

Ahsi are an ancient race of spacefairing lizard from the planet Cianlis in the horsehead nebula. They have existed since before humanity was a twinkle in God's eye--kind of makes you wonder if God might have been one of these cool lizard ladies, I personally would accept Lizard Woman God as my Lord and Savior. The Ahsi are pretty cool, they have like spikes on their head for no real reason, can see in the dark using vibrations, and can hear other Ahsi's thoughts. I wish I was born an Ahsi instead of human, our only superpower is being really good at not dying.

Ahsi have these odd spikes on the ends of the bones in their neckflap crest thingies. A long time ago these were probably used as like vibration sensors or something. Now they mostly just use them to display jewelry. Not that that's a bad thing, humans have useless parts too, we still don't know what the appendix is for.

On Cianlis, it's dark. The Ahsi live underwater and in this cool underground cave system called LänanCian. Fun fact, teach, Cianlis isn't the proper name, humans shouldn't be calling it that, it means 'Our Home', just like Earth means Dirt we should call "Cianlis" La which refers to the planet itself-it means land. Anyway, the Ahsi need a way to see things and know where things are, they have eyes, but there's very little light, so they also developed this special set of nerves under their scales that's super sensetive to the movement [continued on next page]

of molecules. They use it to sense vibrations through all sorts of materials including air, water, rock, and metal. They can tell from these vibrations where things are. I asked one of the Ahsi from Class 203 how it works and she just asked me how humans "just sometimes know when bad things are going to happen" when I said we don't, she hit me, all I learned is that she's mean.

Ahsi can read each others minds, I think? That's what I heard, but I'm not sure it's true. If it is, that would be pretty cool, but if it is how do you prevent Ahsi from cheating on tests?

In conclusion, Ahsi are cool and I wish I was one but if I was I would only think mean thoughts to that one that hit me, since she was rude.

I'll give you a C- it's more than you deserve, Aslin, especially since I've told you six times you have to put your name on your essays, but some of your information was correct, and some of the things you said made me smile. So you pass, even though we badly need to have a discussion about how to research things and how grammar works.

— final note from Aslin's teacher

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