Rune

"I've only ever been exactly what I am, who I am. I'm not ashamed. Even if I could change, I wouldn't. Just because you don't understand me, doesn't mean I don't deserve to be treated like a person."

Unlike the rest of the main cast, Rune is a native of the Warlands. He was born there and has never known any other place, or any other life. To say that life has been hard would be a severe understatement. He can't fight, he's not very strong, and he's always been seen by those around him as too weak, too sensitive, too effeminate. There have always been the ways in which his life simply has been difficult, and ways it is made even worse by other people, but beyond all that, life in the Warlands has always been unsatisfying to Rune. Ever since he was a young child, he's dreamed of better, brighter, more glamorous things than the dreary, mundane misery that was familiar to him. Though, despite always yearning for more, Rune has never exactly had high standards or expectations for his reality... especially not for how he's treated.

Rune has had a very successful 11-year long career as a bedwarmer (to put it kindly) to various warlords all around the region. By successful, of course, I mean that he's still alive. He's managed to survive pretty much all his adult years by putting himself at the mercy of powerful men who have decided that Rune looks enough like a woman to be willing to fuck him from behind and still be able to sleep at night, without having to admit to themselves that their obsession with maleness and masculinity is maybe indicative of something. It is not an easy way to live, have no doubt, but Rune's feelings on it all are actually quite complicated. There's the fact that he genuinely hasn't any other options, aside from manual labour, which Rune thinks would honestly be worse than being a concubine. Like most common folk of the Warlands, he never learned to read or write. And, of course, the fact that he's not a fighter, never has been. This way, he doesn't have to work, he has the opportunity to bathe often as often as he wants, he's fed, protected... at the cost of relentless abuse, degradation, humiliation, dehumanization.

Rune likes men, he likes sex with men, he likes being a pretty lap decoration for powerful men, he just, you know. Would like to also be treated like a human being worthy of dignity and respect.

It hasn't been all bad, though. The last few years, Rune has had exactly that-- been kept by someone who cares for him and treats him kindly, someone who loves him. For the last three years, he didn't have a lord, he had a lover. The son of one of the most powerful barons of the Warlands, who was about the closest thing they have there to a Prince Charming. Rune knew from the beginning that this was the best he was ever going to get, and even though it still wasn't really what he'd hoped for, what he'd imagined when he was younger and hadn't been hurt so much yet, he was grateful. He was happy. He was in love.

As of a few weeks prior to the first page of the story, though, that relationship has ended. It ended pretty gruesomely. And now, with nowhere to go and nothing left but grief, not even the clothes on his back because he lost those... he's decided he has nothing else left to lose. He doesn't want to go back to being just a disposable whore again, not now that he's mourning his lost love, so when Shea rescues him from a rough situation, he decides to join up with her on her adventures. He thought his best years were behind him, that he had nothing left to learn about himself, that the things he once dreamed weren't possible for someone like him.

Over the course of the story, Rune will learn the true meaning of confidence, of freedom, of creating for yourself the life you deserve. He will remember his dreams of being a performer, and sing again. He will travel and see incredible things and change people's lives for the better. He will find value in himself without having to be beholden to the whims and standards of people who never would have accepted or respected him regardless, and and find people who do. He will find independence and self-love, and he will heal.

Mental characteristics

Personal history

Rune was born to his sheep-keeping mother and father, in a small farming village in the central Warlands. The days were simple, but life was fraught. Their village had long suffered from poverty and poor fortune, caught up in the power struggles between the region's many feuding warlords. The land their village was on was within a powerful and established lord's territory, so the lord's soldiers would often ride into the village, to take food and other goods, and the taxes the villagers 'owed' the lord in exchange for his 'protection'. The soldiers were no more than bullies with swords, cruel, and always happy to take more than the village could afford to have taken. They made their fun by stomping all over those who were weaker than them, and reminding them of their place.

Rune was supposed to help his parents tend to the sheep, the farm and the house, but he frequently got in trouble for daydreaming and lazing around playing make-believe when he was meant to be working. His father would scold him for always having his head in the clouds, his mother chastised him for getting lost in his fantasies in favour of the real world, but Rune hated the real world. When real life wasn't dreadful and scary, it was dreadfully dull. He dreamed of a good life, an easy life, a romantic life, with nice things and no hardship. His favourite stories were the ones about the fabled noble knights of Solril, a mythical ideal he idolized. He wished one of those knights would come and sweep him off his feet, whisking him away from the dreary world he knew and into a wonderful fairytale. When he wasn't daydreaming by himself, Rune was always asking the few other boys in the village if they wanted to play house with him. They never did, they wanted to play war, and Rune hated that game. Once, Rune cried to his mom about it, and when she asked why he only ever asked the boys to play house, and said maybe some of the girls would want to play with him, Rune wailed like it was the end of the world that if he played house with girls then he "wouldn't get to be the wife".

He had very loving parents. Rune's father would often say he hoped Rune would grow into some sense someday, and his mother would reply that she hoped he would never change. Despite scolding him for his laziness frequently, and sometimes telling him he should be less sensitive, Rune's dad was also fiercely protective of Rune, and would not tolerate a bad word against his son, even if he was a little too girly for his own good. When Rune was around six years old, he became upset after one of the girls in the village was showing off her new doll her parents made her, and let the other girls all hold it once, but didn't let Rune have a turn "even though he asked nicely" because she "didn't want him to get his gross boy germs all over it". Rune's dad may not have wanted his son to want a doll, but he wanted Rune to be happy more. That same night he and Rune's mom stayed up to craft Rune a doll of his own by candlelight, out of scraps of yarn. Rune was overjoyed when they gave it to him. It may not have helped with the bullying, but Rune loved that doll a lot and carried it everywhere for over two years.

Rune's mother especially loved his soft, romantic nature. She wasn't sure where he got it, exactly, given he had a cynic and a realist for parents, same with his vanity streak that became apparent early on, but she still appreciated it. She took great care to teach him well from a young age that he shouldn't try to change for anyone. She also tried to instill her own worldly wisdom in him, though she got mixed results. Rune would have his head firmly in the clouds for years and years to come.

When Rune was eleven years old, he experienced the first major event that would permanently alter the course of his life. It had been a perfectly normal, sunny afternoon when he'd run to alert his father that the soldiers were coming again. But when his father caught sight of the men riding in across the field, he barked at Rune to get inside the house and hide. Rune was confused as his father herded him inside to his mother and started blocking the door-- as long as they didn't make any trouble and did as they said, the lord's soldiers wouldn't hurt them. Those weren't the lord's soldiers, though, his father said.

The soldiers ransacked the village, raiding their stores of food and dragging people out of their homes to be rounded up. Rune cried out of fear as his parents clung to him and each other. He could tell his father wanted to fight back, but didn't, instead quietly going along with the unknown soldiers' demands. Several of the villagers, including Rune and his family, were captured and taken away from the village. Rune's mother and the rest of the women were sent to work in the new invading lord's castle, while Rune and his father and the rest of the men were sent to work at the nearby quarry.

It was hard, manual labour, mining stone from the quarry, as well as dangerous. The fact that he was still a child aside, it wasn't something Rune was cut out for at all and he struggled badly, breaking down crying nearly every day. His father stuck close by him and tried to protect him but there was little he could do. Due to the poor conditions Rune's father became sick, and he died only after a few months. Rune was inconsolable, and the soldiers that oversaw the quarry decided he was more trouble than it was worth, so they sent him off to the castle instead. There, Rune was at least reunited with his mother, but they both were grieving his father.

His mother had become a laundry maid, and Rune attached himself to her side, helping her with her work. Given the growing length of his hair and the fact that it was generally 'women's work', this was when Rune started getting frequently mistaken for a girl. The other maids around the castle took a shine to him, coming to know him as a sweet and friendly boy. There were a few other kids around his age in the castle that Rune quickly befriended. Ayric, a stable boy the same age as him, Emilie, a kitchen girl a year younger, and two others a couple years older: Ton, a page, and Rose, the lord's daughter.

Rune's mother had already bonded with Rose, as the girl didn't have a mother, so she and Rune quickly became very close. Others described them as being like brother and sister-- or two sisters, some would joke. Brother and sister was how they thought of themselves. Rune strongly admired Rose, and often tried to emulate her. Ayric thought Rune had a crush on Rose and was jealous of their closeness, mostly because he himself had a crush on Rose. Emilie was also jealous of the pair's bond, but that was because she had a crush on Rune. The only one who wasn't jealous of them was Ton, who was also good, old friends with Rose, but Rune was a little jealous of their friendship, because he had a crush on Ton. Ton was utterly oblivious to Rune's very obvious crush, but had his own strong fondness for him, thinking of Rune as a little brother that he looked out for. He was protective of him; Rune had more than his fair share of bullies, as always, and it was always Ton that leapt to his defense. Which only ever made Rune's crush escalate, of course.

It still wasn't an easy life, but Rune thought it was at least stable, though the servant's quarters in the castle were no less cold and drafty than their little house in the village was. Unfortunately, this semblance of peace would not last-- it was never going to. When Rune was fourteen, it was revealed that Rose, then sixteen, was going to be sent away to marry the son of another powerful warlord in a nearby territory to solidify an allyship between that lord and Rose's father. Rune was already upset that his best friend and sister would be leaving, but he did his best to comfort Rose and reassure her, because Rose was even more scared than he was. But then, the lord decided that, in order to ensure Rose would not be going alone, and that she would have someone there who she could trust, he would also send one of her maids with her, the one he knew Rose was closest to: Sigryd, Rune's mother. Rune, however, would be left behind, even when Rose asked her father if he could come too, the lord refused.

Rose broke the news to Rune herself, and Rune was inconsolable. He didn't want his mother to be taken away, she was the only family he had left. He and Rose fought, said things through tears that they knew would hurt the other, things they knew they would regret. Rune ran to his mom and begged her to tell him it wasn't true, begged her to stay, not to leave him all alone, even lashed out at her in his despair. His mother reminded him fiercely that she loved him more than anything in the world, he was her heart. She told him people like them didn't get to choose their lives, they had to do as best they could with the lives they were given. Later, Rune sought out Rose and they shared apologies and hugs.

Their final farewells were the next day. As she hugged him goodbye, Rune's mother said to him that he would never be given a good life, and if he wanted one, he would have to take it for himself. Those were the last words she ever spoke to him, and even then, Rune knew he would never see is mother again. After she and Rose left, Rune cried for a long time, but no amount of tears would ever fill the aching hollow that had been carved out inside him.

As a teenager, the most exciting thing that Rune always looked forward to was when the castle was visited by local or travelling bards, on nights where there would be feasts and revelry. He loved the stories bards would tell and the music they would play, and he so admired their confidence, their sway, their power. It was incredible to him how some good music, choice words and well-placed charm could so utterly captivate an entire banquet hall of hardened soldiers, weary servants, and all. He didn't know how to play an instrument and didn't have the means to learn, but had always enjoyed singing and thought he had a decent enough voice. He was shy about singing in front of other people, though, afraid to be made fun of (even more than he already was) but the people who did get to hear him sing assured him he was quite good at it, better than he gave himself credit for.

He would cling to every sung and recited word, imagining what it would be like to be as free as they were, strong without having to be tough. He imagined all the places he wanted to see in the world, treasuring his fantasies of travelling Gilden.

Rune's life permanently altered course once more when he was only seventeen years old. Far too young, Rune today knows, looking back on his life and feeling angry on his younger self's behalf, the way he wished a real adult would have for him back then. The warlord that Rune had served as a member of his castle's staff for years already, that he'd previously been all but invisible to, suddenly one day took notice of him. It had been yet another military campaign, a push for more power, more territory. Rune had been brought along as one of the handful of servants typically dragged along on these longer campaigns to perform menial camp chores. There, the lord saw Rune. In particular, he saw Rune's long, shiny hair, his slender physique, his sweet, pretty face, and he saw the way Rune cast longing, lustful looks at the other men around the camp. After nightfall, he ordered Rune to come to his tent, and even further emboldened after learning he was already not a virgin, ordered Rune to cease his regular work and become the lord's personal bedwarmer instead, 'servicing' him and him alone.

Rune submitted to the lord's demand without protest or complaint. He didn't exactly have much of a choice, but even if he did, it's hard to say what he would have chosen. It still was not an easy way to live; often enough the lord would use Rune as a means to release his anger and stress with little to no regard for Rune's wellbeing, let alone his pleasure. And the way he was even further shunned and mocked by everyone else in the lord's castle, even by those who he thought were his friends, hurt. The only one who didn't suddenly hate Rune was Ton, but having recently become a fully-fledged soldier himself, Ton couldn't afford to openly be supportive of him without catching too much flack of his own. He tried to still be friends with Rune when it was just the two of them, but it wasn't enough to soothe the sting of betrayal Rune felt, and over the next year they talked less and less until they barely talked at all, and then Rune really did have no one.

Only a year later, was the first time Rune was ever captured and taken like spoils of war, and it would not be the last. It happened much like how Rune's new life as a bedwarmer first started: in a military camp. The lord's army was defeated by the enemy forces and their camp invaded and overrun, resulting in a brutal massacre. Rune had tried to hide but was found by the enemy warlord and his men, who decided that his desperate begging for his life was a sweet enough sound to decide to keep him for theirselves. Through the rain and tears, as he was assaulted by the cruel soldiers, Rune spotted the still form of Ton, his old friend, bleeding out amongst the mounds of dead surrounding them. No matter everything else that happened after, even a decade later, though there were certainly strong contenders, that forever remained the worst night of Rune's entire life.

Nearly eight years passed since then, in a monotonous haze of pain and pleasure and fear and regret, the same things happening over and over in what felt like an endless cycle of having to beg to be raped instead of murdered. Rune developed an extremely complicated relationship with his own means of survival, which was submitting to the desires of men who would never admit to ever desiring men, or who didn't, but just enjoyed exerting their power over those they saw as inferior. A part of him even enjoyed it-- a part of himself that he hated, and the hate of which was also hated by another part of himself. He got really good at it-- submission, and survival. And besides, it's not like it was all bad, like his pleasure was never genuine, like it always forced. But still, even during those fleeting pleasant glimmers of reprieve from the relentless drudge of abuse, as he was dragged around all over the Warlands and passed from lord to lord, powerless, Rune very quickly abandoned all the hopeful, sparkly dreams of his youth, adopting a pessimistic view of the world and his own self worth.

This was just the world he lived in, he came to believe. This was all he was good for, all he would be given. It was foolish to ever hope for better, it was foolish to want. Wanting only makes real life more painful. He forced himself to forget his fantasies of heroes and noble knights, of escaping the Warlands and travelling the world, of fine things and romance and peace and joy. He stopped singing. Told himself there was no such thing as no hardship.

Rune was twenty five when he met the love of his life. He was being held prisoner by a gang of bandits, bound with an iron collar around his neck and stashed like hidden treasure in a tent in their wooded campsite. The afternoon sun was shining brightly in the clearing, and Rune's quiet glum was suddenly disrupted by sounds of fighting outside the tent. Rune was on guard, but it wasn't soldiers, or raiders, or even another, different group of bandits. One lone fighter had taken out the small camp himself, and had a warm, dashing smile on his face when he found Rune trapped there. Instead of capturing Rune for himself, he set him free, and offered him asylum at his father's fortress, introducing himself as Finn Cormac. His father was one of the most powerful lords in the Warlands, a baron, the Cormacs one of the most longstanding families. They even had a flag. Finn was friendly but not overly familiar, handsome, chivalrous, sweet. He was the closest thing the Warlands had to a real prince charming. Rune accepted, of course, it wasn't like he could just wander off into the woods alone.

On the way back to the Cormac fortress, when they made camp for the night, Rune tried to offer Finn his 'services', assuming that would be the price for his rescue-- it always was. Finn stopped him, alarmed, and said he didn't want Rune to give himself to him just because he felt like he had to, Finn was not expecting it of him nor did he think Rune owed it. If Rune wanted, he could find other work in the fortress, or even go elsewhere; he was free, he could do as he pleased. He admitted that he did think Rune was very beautiful, and he did desire him, but he didn't want Rune to be his unless he also wanted it. Rune, was rarely ever afforded even the bare minimum of common decency, thought it was the sweetest, most romantic thing he ever heard, and said he did want to be Finn's. They kissed, but waited to do anything more until they had arrived at the fortress, where they could lie together on a real bed, where Finn could shower Rune in all the finest things he had to offer, where they could relax and take their time with each other. It was incredible, and Rune was utterly besotted.

Finn gave Rune lots of gifts, the first being a delicate bronze pendant on a fine, matching chain, that he said matched Rune's hair and complimented his eyes. There were other things Rune received from Finn that he adored, like an elegant handheld mirror, and an intricately carved comb, but the necklace was always his favourite. It instantly became his most precious possession, and he wore it every day. They were open about their love, and while it was obvious many in the castle disapproved, Finn had more than earned the loyalty and respect of his soldiers, and wouldn't tolerate any disrespect towards Rune. The servants still talked about him behind his back, but Rune was more than used to that, and he was so happy with this new turn in life he didn't care what they were saying. Even Lord Frank Cormac, Finn's father, seemed to like Rune-- though the man was quite on in years, and on the days that he actually remembered who Rune was, he either seemed to not really understand what he was, or just as often referred to Rune as Finn's wife. It was impossible to tell if the old man was joking or not.

Nearly three years passed in bliss. Finn told Rune he would marry him if he could, and Rune believed they would spend the rest of their lives together. He may still not have had all his long-forgotten dreams, but at least he was happy. It wasn't the freedom he once wanted, and he never got to see the world, but at least he was loved, treated like he was something precious instead of something disgusting. He thought he had finally been given a good life, that this was the best he would ever have. Finn was the center of his universe.

Finn often went out to patrol his father's lands. When the trip was shorter, Rune would stay behind in the fortress, waiting wistfully for his lover to return, but they didn't like to be apart. When it was a longer journey, around the borders of their territory, Rune would go with him and his patrol, keeping each other company at night in Finn's tent. It was a regularity-- Finn was a powerful and accomplished warrior and would move mountains for Rune, Rune knew that he was safe with him, that Finn would always protect him. The Cormacs were untouchable.

Or so it was believed. On one such border patrol, one night after they made camp, history repeated itself in the bitterest of ways. They were attacked by a large group of mercenaries, outnumbered and overrun. The soldiers were slain, and as Rune was discovered and dragged kicking and screaming out of the tent, he saw Finn, crumpled face down on the ground in a pool of blood. Rune wailed, sure the grief alone would be enough to kill him, it certainly felt like he was dying, but he wasn't killed by the mercenaries. They captured him alive, their leader deciding to take him along as a 'bonus', saying they deserved an extra reward for such a job well done. Rune was incoherent with despair, and as the mercenaries stripped him and bound his wrists with rope, he pleaded through his soul-wracking sobs to please not take the pendant around his neck, if he couldn't have anything else, even his own life, he must have that. Whether it was because he was put off by the dramatic tears or because he just didn't care didn't matter, either way, the mercenary leader did allow him to keep it.

Rune was dragged along with them for three weeks, completely numb whenever he wasn't overwhelmed by his own misery, mourning his love. The mercenaries were rough with him, and at their hands Rune suffered some of the cruellest treatment he ever had. He had new bruises and scrapes every day, and by the time three weeks had passed, he was weak and could barely walk. He started to wonder if this was it, if he was going to die like this. Despite himself, Rune couldn't bring himself to resign himself to such a fate. Despite everything, he still desperately wanted to live.

It was as Rune was realizing this desire, this need, that Shea arrived, and the rest of Rune's life began.

Gender Identity

Having spent all his life in the Warlands, Rune was raised with a very rigid and restrictive gender system, one which he never quite fit into. It's made his own relationship to his own gender and his understanding of gender as a whole pretty complicated, moreso than he would really like. In the Warlands, a man was supposed to be rugged and strong and domineering. Tough, and not driven by any emotion other than rage. Rune was never any of that. He didn't like getting his hands dirty and he didn't like to fight. He liked to grow his hair long and comb it every day, since he was little. He didn't dream of conquering castles, but of twirling through them in flowy, fancy clothes, and he certainly dreamed of noble knights and dashing warriors, but not of being them. Rune was always seen as dainty and sensitive by those around him, the opposite of 'manly' and the antithesis of 'macho'. He was flamboyant, and effeminate. Sometimes, when he was younger, he wished he could have been a girl instead because it would have been easier than constantly being punished for not being a boy 'the right way'. He used to wonder if he was supposed to be born a girl instead-- he was certainly compared to one often enough, and sometimes even mistaken for one. It always left a bitter taste in his mouth, though, when he was messing around with another boy and they said something about how 'like a girl' he was, even when they meant it as a compliment. Especially when they meant it as a compliment. He didn't want a guy he liked to just pretend he was a girl the whole time, he wanted to be liked for who, and what, he really was. Now that he's grown up and gotten to know himself better, he's decided he'd rather just be the kind of man he is in peace, not that he actually wants to be a woman instead. Besides, he knows better now than to think girls really have it easier, it's just that they have different kinds of shackles as the one he's always had to live with. Sometimes he still gets mistaken for a woman, typically from behind, but now older and more confident in himself, it's easier to find it amusing instead of aggravating.

Sexuality

All his life all anyone had to do was take one look at him to know he was different. He'd never been interested in girls, had never even bothered to try.

Rune became sexually active as soon as he was able to get away with it. He'd never struggled with knowing what he wanted, after all, and he very much wanted men. For a time, he made do with messing around with Ayric, who agreed to practise kissing with Rune as long as it was under the guise of preparing to one day do it with a girl-- those uncoordinated and fumbling encounters quickly devolved into unreciprocated handstuff. Most of Rune's physical experiences as a teenager went something like that. He could get a taste of what he wanted with other male servants who were willing to squint hard enough to pretend he was a girl, as long as they didn't have to touch him back. It was hardly fulfilling, but it was all he could get.

The party's bard, the Heart.

Species

Human

Age

28

Pronouns

He/Him

Sex

Oh yeah. lots. too much, you might even say

Gender

Male

Presentation

Pretty Boy

Eyes

Bright hazel eyes equally haunting and enchanting

Hair

Very long golden/strawberry blond hair, sleek and soft

Skin Tone/Pigmentation

like peaches and cream

Height

5'9"

Rune's Lute

Early on during the group's journey, they come across a toppled over and abandoned merchant's wagon, that appears to have been attacked by bandits. It's already clearly been ransacked, but the party's pragmaticism (also read: loose morals and opportunism) leads them to search the wreckage for anything left that might be useful or valuable, anyway. They find basic stuff, like spare rags and rope, which is always good to have on hand, but Rune in particular finds a real treasure-- a lute, nicely carved with a glossy finish, and still in perfect condition. Mesmerized by the beautiful instrument, he takes it, but doesn't announce his find to the rest of the group, a little shy and embarrassed by how much he wants it.

Even by now, Rune still has never had the chance to learn how to play an instrument, though he'd always kept the desire to make music close to his heart. It's been a long time since he sang, an entire decade, but seeing the lute stirs that old, long-forgotten muse inside him once again. At night, he starts sneaking off to the very edge of their campsite with the lute to practise, to figure out how to play it. He's heard it played by other bards plenty of times over the years, so he knows how it's supposed to sound, but figuring out how to actually get the instrument to make those sounds proves to be a challenge in and of itself. He perseveres, though, and soon enough, manages to start learning how to actually play. He even tries singing again, feeling a little rusty but with growing confidence at every note successfully plucked from his new companion's strings. He practises some songs he's heard, and even starts coming up with his own. Once he starts, it's as if he can't stop, and then suddenly the songs start just pouring out of him.

Despite his best, bashful efforts, Rune doesn't manage to keep the lute secret for long. He doesn't even last more than a few days before Shea finds him tucked behind a tree at the edge of camp. Shea is as enthusiastic about it as she is all things, excited when she sees Rune's new possession. She's nonplussed when he admits that no, he doesn't actually know how to play, and though she doesn't manage to convince him to play something on the lute anyways despite her best efforts, she does manage to get him out of his shell a little bit.

After a while, Rune starts singing and playing his lute around the campfire, to the delight of the rest of the group. He still hasn't quite worked his way up to playing in front of an actual audience yet, but he's getting there.