Culling
I've heard from many people who've got a problem with our culling process. And every single one of them was dead weight.
Reginald Howell, founder and CEO of Hegemony International
C
ulling is
Hegemony International's process of identify-and-removing "excess" headcount.
History
Survival of the Fittest
I
n his relentless drive to keep Hegemony operating at peak efficiency, Reginald Howell has always believed that the company's own staff is one of the greatest threats to profitability. Early in the company's expansion, he noted that "operational bloat" was an insidious threat that seemed to play out, repeatedly, in nearly every major organization he'd studied. While some corporations try to attack this problem through "lean" hiring practices, Howell became convinced that, over time, it's inevitable that certain groups within the company will become overstaffed. Furthermore, he came to see such overstaffing as an incentive for employees to grow lazy and complacent. While he felt that this was somewhat mitigated through the company's innovative 360 program, he was still compelled to implement a more aggressive means by which unnecessary staff could be jettisoned. Thus, he implemented a continual process of "culling".
The term "culling" is his preferred convention. Just as a herd is ultimately made stronger when the weak or sick are culled, so too is the company's health improved when the lowest-performing are removed.
Execution
W
hen a culling is initiated, nearly every division / group / team in Hegemony will receive a numerical imperative instructing them to jettison X number of employees. Occasionally, favored groups are exempted from this directive. But those occasions are rare, owing to the idea that any group which has not been culled is inevitably harboring lazy employees.
Few Exceptions
When a team's manager receives a culling directive, that directive is generally understood to be non-negotiable. For example, if a 12-man team has been instructed to "cull" 2 members, it's almost certain that 2 employees will absolutely be terminated from that team. If the team's manager tries to argue that only one person shold be terminated (or, even more radical, that no one should be terminated), it's a good bet that the team's manager will be included in the mandated culling.
Executives Too
Culling is not reserved for "frontline" employees. Even senior executives are subject to culling. At the most senior level, these terminations are carried out (quite gleefullly) by Howell himself. Just as he fears a "common" worker who's grown complacent and drains the company's financial resources, so too does he see the same threat amongst his executive team. He also views the culling of executive staff as being crucial to maintaining esprit de corps, reasoning that common employees will be more amenable to the directive if they understand that all employees are at risk.
Cullings are executed swiftly. Most managers are given a week to nominate team members for termination. Any longer delay on the manager's part is seen as a sign that the manager may be a good candidate for culling.
Why would we want the fuck-ups to return??
Reginald Howell, founder and CEO of Hegemony International
No Return
Once someone's been culled, they're marked as ineligible for rehire. The logic is quite simple: They wouldn't have been culled if they weren't one of the worst-performing members of their team. And if their performance has been so sorely lacking, Hegemony has no place for them at any future date.
Observance
W
hile there is no set schedule for culling, it's rare that a full calendar year passes without at least one such event having been initiated by executive management. Cullings happen most frequently on the cusp of quarterly, and especially annual, reports.
All About the Bizkits
Culling directives are usually calculated in a brutally simplistic manner. Howell (or some other senior executive), looks at the the most recent profit figures, compares them to projections, and then determines what percentage of headcount must be shaved to meet those objectives.
However, it's important to note that Howell himself has come to view culling as an absolutely necessary (and healthy) part of the business. In his view, it weeds out the bottom percentile of hangers-on who've grown fat and happy in their jobs. For this reason, he will almost always initiative at least some level of culling, even when the company has wildly exceeded all profit projections.
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