Marriage in Ilios
Execution
Marriages in Ilios are commonly arranged by the couple's parents, or by one party and the parents of the other. Often, in cases of marriage between a bridegroom and a bride, the bridegroom has some say in the union, while the bride has none.
Except in cases where the marriage is specifically arranged between two individuals, the guardian (kyrios) will announce his daughter is available to marry. Suitors will come to compete for her hand. They would bring gifts and compete by song, dance, or games.
Once the suitor is announced, the engysis, or betrothal, takes place. Relatives of both parties would gather to witness the betrothal. The suitor and the kyrios exchange gifts to show that the kyrios is not selling his daughter or getting rid of her, but that the marriage is legitimate and the bridegroom and kyrios are now kinsmen (if not kinsmen before). The dowry of the bride would also be discussed at the betrothal, often with relatives of both parties being involved in the negotiating. Then, the bridegroom and bride will clasp hands in front of the kyrios. The kyrios says, "I give you my [insert term here] to sow for the purpose of producing legitimate children," to which the groom replies, "I take her."
The marriage ceremony would last for three days, consisting of the progamilia, the gamilia, and the metogamo.
The progamilia was when the bride would spend her last day with her mother, female relatives, and friends preparing for her wedding. A feast would be held at the bride's father's house, attended by the families of both the bride and bridegroom. On this day, the bride would make offerings to the gods, which symbolized the transition from girlhood to adulthood and established a bond between the bride and the gods.
The gamilia began with a sacrifice, calling upon the gods to bless the marriage. The bride would take a nuptial bath, which symbolized purification and fertility. During the gamilia, the bride would wear a veil over her face. The bridegroom and bride would make offerings at the temple to ensure a fruitful life together. The bridegroom and the bride would join hands in front of their families and exchange vows similar to the betrothal vows while their hands were tied together. This legalized the betrothal the suitor and kyrios made. After the ceremony, a wedding feast would occur at the home of the father of the bride. With the exception of the couple and their parents, men and women would sit at different tables.
After the feast, the bridegroom and bride would lead a procession to the bridegroom's house. Relatives and friends would follow the couple with gifts for them. These gifts would often be painted with romantic and/or erotic images of marriage and newlyweds. The entire path to the bridegroom's house was lit with candles. Upon arriving at the bridegroom's house, his mother would greet them and take them to the hearth of the home. Here, they would eat dried fruits and nuts, which symbolized fertility and prosperity. Then, the bridegroom would take his bride to their bedchamber, where her veil would be removed and the marriage consummated.
The metogamo would take place the next day. Relatives and friends of the couple would visit the couple's home, bringing gifts for the couple. Common gifts were jewelry, garments, perfume, pots, and furniture.
Observance
Most marriages in Ilios occur during the end of the year in the month of Ionia, as this month is seen as being sacred to Ehena, the goddess of marriage.
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