Gobbledygook

It isnt really a language you can learn, you either know exactly which thingamajig to adjust on the whoszit or, to quote a good friend of mine, KABOOM!
— Jasper Cameron, Leader of The Bronze Ravens
  Technically, I believe the actual term is "techno-babble" however, to avoid confusion with the actual Babble it has taken on the name Gobbledygook. It is a shorthand language used solely by goblin artificers and inventors, much to the annoyance of gnomes, dwarves, halflings, elves... well pretty much everyone else that may be in the same shop. I thought that I was starting to pick up on it a little bit, as everyone has little nonsense phrases that they use in place of a word, but with goblins the meaning of these phrases are both universal and fluid.   I was once in a goblin workshop and over the course of an hour heard no less than 47 different tools referred to as a hammer, only 4 of which were hammers, although others 7 were used as hammers. Despite this, no worker had to be sent back for the correct tool. I would say that there is a shared psychic field amongst the goblin race, but if that is the case, other psychically sensitive beings are unable to tap into it (see Accident report dated Midsummer 4888 for lab 12 and warehouses 23-30).   I will attempt to list here what I have possibly been able to discern, although I'm sure any goblin reading this will laugh and say just how wrong I am:
  • Tool names: all tool names are interchangeable, for instance, a hammer could mean an actual hammer, but is just as likely to mean a chisel, or a pry-bar, or a saw
  • Whatsit is usually a shop specific tool for the project at hand... except when it means charcoal stick or wax crayon
  • Thingamajig: valve, dial, bellows, switch, pulley, weight
  • argle-bargle: fire, water, steam, salt, niter, spark powder, quench barrel, oil, lunch
  • malarky: unspecified measurement of time (I think)
  • whoszit: not to be confused with a whatsit, whoszits are equipment, like a bellows, pulley, or gearbox, also sometimes a person, like the safety rope yanker
  • piffle: unit of measure, such as "add a piffle more water" or "turn that valve a piffle widdershins"
  • Comments

    Please Login in order to comment!
    Aug 3, 2024 07:59 by Tillerz

    Lolol, my gnomes probably would use that. :D

    Aug 8, 2024 11:41

    I wholeheartedly support this.

    Check out some of my summer camp articles, like the dangerous flying jackalope or dragon wasps. Or, for something more light-hearted, there is the whimsical language Gobbledygook and Jaden's interesting job as a guano polisher.
    Aug 7, 2024 06:31 by Valentine Myers

    I love this, not only as a chaotic conlang, but also because it reminds me of all the moments with family and friends I haven't been able to get a word out and instead talk about an item in nonsense words, caveman speak, and frantic gesturing

    Aug 8, 2024 11:44

    Definitely inspired by the shorthand that families, friend groups, andcoworkers come up with for various things that makes outsiders just be like "no, but that wasn't a conversation YOU DIDNT EVEN USE REAL WORDS!"

    Check out some of my summer camp articles, like the dangerous flying jackalope or dragon wasps. Or, for something more light-hearted, there is the whimsical language Gobbledygook and Jaden's interesting job as a guano polisher.
    Aug 8, 2024 19:14

    I presume Goblins have a horrible time working together with any other technologically-advanced group when their language is so full of nonsense to outsiders. Maybe they just need to find the right psychic wavelength.   Though now comes the question whether the inventions Goblins made also get their own weird naming conventions as well. Nothing more terrifying than having to wonder what the hell a Goblin means when he brings out the Gizmo in battle.

    Aug 21, 2024 10:42

    Oh, the inventions by and large also get gobbledygook names, which does indeed make the products of goblin workshops all the more terrifying.

    Check out some of my summer camp articles, like the dangerous flying jackalope or dragon wasps. Or, for something more light-hearted, there is the whimsical language Gobbledygook and Jaden's interesting job as a guano polisher.
    Aug 12, 2024 22:36 by Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull

    This is so fun and chaotic, I love it.

    Aug 21, 2024 10:44

    Actual languages I am horrible at (conlangs are terrifying things, like CSS, and public speaking) but nonsense languages, taking a prompt that many people dread and just having fun with it.... yeah, I can do that. :)

    Check out some of my summer camp articles, like the dangerous flying jackalope or dragon wasps. Or, for something more light-hearted, there is the whimsical language Gobbledygook and Jaden's interesting job as a guano polisher.
    Aug 27, 2024 01:12 by Desdemona Rose

    This was a fun read and made me laugh. I really hope no one mixes up argle-bargle since the results of that mix-up could be either humorous or disastrous, lol. I also liked the narration to include the little accident report addition. It's a nice little detail.

    Aug 28, 2024 13:39

    Considering that such confusion could result in the loss of one's lunch it would indeed be a most unfortunate disaster.   Thanks for the read, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    Check out some of my summer camp articles, like the dangerous flying jackalope or dragon wasps. Or, for something more light-hearted, there is the whimsical language Gobbledygook and Jaden's interesting job as a guano polisher.
    Aug 31, 2024 21:47 by George Sanders

    Lavani dove right in to get down and dirty with the goblins. "I grabbed a thingamajig to fix the whosizit while I used a piffle of malarky to futz around until it was all." Plus, I vote to add spritzing to the list, you know, like when the water pipe broke and it spritzed everything in the room. :)

    Read about the great items submitted for the Summer Camp Prompt I sponsored "A personal item that keeps you safe".
    Share your articles on Lavani's Reading List!