Guano Polisher

What, you wouldn't expect a wizard to use any old guano, would you
— Jasper Cameron, Leader of the Bronze Ravens
  It's not a glorious job, but someone has to do it. WIth that thought, Jayden picked up his basket and headed off to work. His clientele had standards, and he would meet them. After all, it wouldn't do to make wizards angry. He started humming tunelessly as he made his way toward the hills west of Jacy.   All told it was about a 4 day process to restock the shop. First up was to get the raw materials. It was 3 miles to the bat caves. Granted, getting there wasn't the issue. It was the hike back with nearly 100 pounds of guano. But that would come later. For now, it was time to check on the work of his "apprentices." Others always laughed when he called the dung beetles that, but it wasn't far from the truth. After all other masters often left the tedious tasks to their newest apprentices.   Of course, other apprentices would leave the fruits of their labor in a nice orderly place easy for their master to reach. Instead, Jayden had to trek from cave to cave and gather up the little balls of partially compacted guano. He didn't feel too bad, he had checked with a druid and the little beetles had a nearly unlimited supply of food thanks to the bats. So much so that it was only the work of a single morning for him to fill his basket.   On his way back, about halfway he stopped at his presses. They were located well outside the town so that people wouldn't complain about the smell. His apprentices started the process well enough, but there was a way to go before they could be polished to his standard. He unloaded his basket into the empty press and lowered the press until liquid started to seep out. After all these years the smell didn't really bother him, but he could see how it would bother others.   Then he moved down to the next press and applied a few more turns to that one before wheeling it into "the oven" as he had taken to calling the little hollow nature had carved into the dark basalt. On sunny days it got significantly hotter than the surroundings and was vital to drawing out the last bits of moisture from his product.   The press that was originally in the oven Jayden wheeled back next to the first one, and raised the lid, admiring his handiwork. Hundreds upon hundreds of dull brown balls nearly as hard as rocks. He set his basket down next to the trough and released the catch. All the balls bounced through the press and down into the basket. He threw the basket back on his back and started back home.   The next 3 days would be spent at his polishing wheel. Painstakingly polishing each sphere until it gleamed. They may be destined to end their lives in a fiery explosion, but his product was known for its cleanliness and quality. Wizards don't like getting their hands dirty after all...

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Aug 1, 2024 11:00 by Dimitris Havlidis

OMG Marc :D

World Anvil Founder & Chief Grease Monkey
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“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” - Aesop

 

Aug 8, 2024 11:57

Admittedly, the components listed for some spells do leave one to question the hygiene of being a wizard

Check out some of my summer camp articles, like the dangerous flying jackalope or dragon wasps. Or, for something more light-hearted, there is the whimsical language Gobbledygook and Jaden's interesting job as a guano polisher.
Aug 6, 2024 11:36 by Han

Oh this poor stinky guy! x)


welcome to my signature! check out istralar!
Aug 8, 2024 11:54

I mean, his customers are presumably adventuring wizards, so I'm sure he is probably adequately compensated. No adventuring party would take advantage of a simple shopkeep, right?

Check out some of my summer camp articles, like the dangerous flying jackalope or dragon wasps. Or, for something more light-hearted, there is the whimsical language Gobbledygook and Jaden's interesting job as a guano polisher.
Aug 6, 2024 12:26 by Adrian Waite

Brilliant. Nail on the head. We all got to take pride in our work.

It's Gravy Time!!
Aug 8, 2024 11:55

Glad you liked it, thanks for the read

Check out some of my summer camp articles, like the dangerous flying jackalope or dragon wasps. Or, for something more light-hearted, there is the whimsical language Gobbledygook and Jaden's interesting job as a guano polisher.
Aug 12, 2024 21:34 by Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull

I love this. Jayden is my new favourite - his care for his 'apprentices', omg. I really love how much thought you have put into this job.