Ned & the Red's Travelling Shop of Curiosities

Korrisia is filled with strange and interesting creatures, from the members of individual cities, to kings, to monsters that lurk throughout, everything that lives is interesting and should spark any adventurer's curiosity. Of all the creatures that roam Korrisia, no two are more intriguing than Ned & the Red, and their traveling shop of curiosities. An unlikely pair, a human man, Erik "The Red" Borhaven, and his companion, Ned the Goblin, the two travel the world in their cart/shop, looking for great deals and lucrative opportunities to expand their customer base, line their pockets, or come across some rare and powerful item.
Many know and love Ned & the Red, and they are often quite welcomed into cities, towns, fortresses all across the surface of Korrisia, and even some settlements in the Underdark or across the planes know of the pair and hope they will grace their locale.
Erik Borhaven is a veteran of the Darominion/Sevrinkar war during the Era of Troubles. After Sevrinkar was annexed, Erik was immediately removed from service as an act of de-militarization in now "Southern Daromin" and he decided to become a traveling merchant. After only a few weeks on the road, he came upon an orc ambush of a goblin tribe in search of a new home. Erik leapt into action and defended the goblins to the best of his ability, after one orc nearly struck a fatal blow on the red-headed man, a small goblin leapt onto the orc and stabbed him thirty-two times in the neck. This goblin was barely a full-grown being, and when Erik asked his name, he replied "Nand Piukeuk Ope" to which Erik said "Ah...so Ned?" The two laughed, celebrated, drank, and eventually decided to enter into business together.
Ned the Goblin was an outcast of his tribe, dragged along for sport and laughs by those who were much stronger and favored by the chieftain. Ned was born with how the Goblins would view a deformity, he's almost 6 inches shorter than most goblins, and most of the tribe shaman thought he would die young. "He's a stubborn little shite, but gods damn he will fight through anything just to be an ironic prick" - Erik Borhaven. When the tribe decided to re-locate, they knew that food would be scarce and hard to find, it was planned that the tribe would kill and eat Ned once they declared a new home, but when Ned defended the tribe and Erik Borhaven from the Orc attack, the chieftain actually sold Ned to Erik for seven silver and two copper, to which Erik immediately freed Ned, offered Ned a job, and made him an equal partner in their new burgeoning business.
Ever since then, the two merchants have been inseparable. Erik provides a calming demeanor to his friend, and works to ensure that Ned's temper never blows over the top, and Ned ensures that Erik's kind and friendly nature is never manipulated into ruining their revenue numbers. They have raided temples, crypts, tombs, ancient cities, other planes, the elderly, and even sometimes OSHA, and they always find a way to get out of trouble with the law, and more importantly turn a profit.
Ned and Red are currently wanted in Sigil and the Plane of Fire in the City of Brass for several crimes, including impersonating an official, bribery, conspiracy to commit a crime, assault (attacking and removing the gold teeth of a particularly mouthy Djinn), and public drunkenness.
Red is a classically trained Artificer in the realm of Alchemy. He can create wondrous magical creations, potions, and doodads. In most situations Red prefers to refrain from using magic unless he feels it's absolutely necessary. "I'm such a friendly sod, I shouldn't have to go all wibbly wobbly with yer mind, I'll make ya love me through good 'ol fashioned charisma" - Erik Borhaven, after being arrested for drunkenness. Erik is skilled in combat and backs Ned, supporting him while Ned holds the front line.
Ned is trained in all martial weapons, and counts himself as a dangerous swordsman, favored by the gods themselves. Ned actually was half-possessed by a cursed sword that held the soul of a warlord, and in return for being freed, the warlord imparted his martial skills upon Ned. Ned freed him into a bottle and sold him for 2 gold to a drunken sailor. Ned truly is a force to be reckoned with, especially if that force stands in the way of a paycheck, or if someone/something dares to threaten his best friend Red.
Many people see Ned and Red's Traveling Shop and ask how they've existed for so long. Most believe that the original Ned and Red were killed in some forgotten dungeon or tomb, and two others simply took up the name and created this wily and unbelievable story to push more revenue. In reality, Erik Borhaven and Ned the Goblin are the very same from the beginning of their story so many centuries ago! While Humans and Goblins last what could be considered five minutes in the time of the world, Ned & Red were actually cursed by the Trickster God Cyric after Red drunkenly slept nude on an altar, and Ned painted a...phallic piece on the statue's face. Cyric appeared and chuckled, believing that as long as they live, Cyric would never be bored, and declared they would live forever.

Structure

Ned - Chief Operating Officer, Chief Financial Officer, Head of Security
Red - Chief Executive Officer, Human Resources Director, Head of Magical Identification, Public Relations Chair

Public Agenda

Find something shiny, sell it for profit! Rob the idiots who sell you the ugly gold ring that is actually magical.

If they're mad you took it, it's probably worth something

Type

Guild, Merchant

Alternative Names

Ned & Red's