Chapter 2-9: Tam
General Summary
After a moment catching their breath, the party pulled themselves to their feet and began to examine the room. Ryoko dismissed her wolves, but remained in her wolf form herself, sniffing around the edge of the room. Ramas and Clootie stepped up to the Forge to examine the mechanism. At first glance the bronze pool had appeared to be full of water, but as Ramas looked closely it appeared to be too viscous. Light reflecting from it's surface seemed to refracted in an odd manner, causing dozens of tiny rainbows to dance across it's surface. It seemed to be some form of liquid crystal. Clootie made her way up the steps to examine the crystal orb. On closer inspection, she realised that sphere wasn't actually held by the bronze support plate. In fact, the orb hovered about an inch above surface of the plate, with no visible support.
Aetilius pulled out the brass mechanism he'd picked up from Kildrak's desk. Presumably this was the Lens of True Sight the dwarf had mentioned. Aetilius examined the device closely. The outer ring, comprising two bronze washers on either side of a knurled black steel wheel, set with five tiny sapphires; surrounded a two inch diameter brass iris. As the tiefling turned the steel wheel, the iris opened, revealing a shimmering crystal lens. Aetilius lifted the crystal lens to his eye. Through the lens, everything took on a pale blue hue. He could see that of the surfaces in the room were covered with glowing blue symbols, and five bright circles have been etched on the ground in front of the forge. The four outer circles were connected by lines to the central circle, from which two lines arced out, up the stairs of the forge, to the crystal orb,
"Smash the orb" Aetilius shouted up at Clootie. The gnome didn't need any further prompting to engage in wanton property damage, and promptly brought Kulog down on the surface of the sphere. A bright ringing sound emanated from the crystal, and then suddenly the orb disintegrated into tiny shards. An eerie howl seemed to echo through the cave, lingering for a moment and gradually fading away. With a shrug, Aetilius made his way back to the door. With a quick pull, it swung open revealing the Magi Quarters. Shadowy tendrils swirled in the middle of the corridor, and Aetilius instinctively readied Talon. The shadows coalesced into a small figure. Kildrak looked at party and smiled slightly. A pale silvery light illuminated the wraith, and with a sigh of relief Kildrak faded away.
Miaug suggested that they take another look through the Magi's quarters, she was curious to see if the hidden compartment she had found in Milos's room was present in any other of the rooms. The group agreed, and Miaug showed them where she had found the hidden compartment in the desk. The party split up to check the other rooms. Aetilius was immediately drawn to Eleanor's room and began poring over the alchemical textbooks, comparing them to the worn potion recipe he still carried in his pocket. He slipped the tomes into his bag before moving on, to examine at leisure later. Miaug went room to room, collecting every book she could find. By the time she had finished sweeping the Magi's Quarters, she could hardly carry her backpack. Ryoko found another hidden compartment in Macer's room. Inside she found another Nethonris signet ring, along with a detailed map of a city she did not recognise. She showed the map to the group, and Aetilius identified it as Kildrasil, his home city. Suddenly, Ramas remembered about Tharden, left back in the cave entrance. Unsure how long they'd been in the mines by this point, he pulled out the ruby and tried to contact the injured dwarf. No response. The party decided to move quickly back to the cave entrance.
As they approached the door to the Magi's Quarters, they realised that the goblins outside had stopped their banging. The party readied their weapons and cautiously opened the door. Outside the door, they found the a pile of corpses, goblins and bugbears. Not taking any chances, the group elected to proceed quietly until they were back in the mine tunnels.
With Jinx to guide them, they quickly made their way through the tunnels, emerging back into the entrance cave where they had left Tharden. Searching about in the cave, Miaug found the dwarf unconscious, slumped against the outside of the tent. His skin was clammy and his breath came in ragged gasps. Miaug and Aetilius looked him over. His wounds were severely infected, and he required urgent medical attention. Ryoko tried to cast a Healing Spell on him, but the magic did little to blunt the impact of the infection. Aetilius scooped the injured dwarf up and the party left the cave.
Outside the cave, Miaug heard a rustling in the treeline and immediately put a hand on Clootie's shoulder to draw her back. A massive white lion emerged from the undergrowth. It's looked over at the party, it's fur seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. The lion stood up on it's hind legs, and with a groaning, tearing sound it's bones rearranged and it's flesh seemed to twist and flow. In a moment or two, Reidoth stood in front of the group. He looked them up and down,
"I guess I underestimated you. Maybe you have potential after all" he admitted,
"Bring the dwarf to me" he gestured to Aetilius. The big tiefling gently lowered Tharden to the ground in front of Reidoth. The old druid knelt beside the injured creature and raised his hands, palm first, in front of him. A brilliant white light emanated from his palm, surrounding the druid and the dwarf, building in intensity until the party had to look away. After a moment, the light faded. Tharden's breath seemed to slow slightly, and the tension left his body,
"That should help for a while. I'll need to get him to a temple soon. My magic can only provide a temporary relief, the infection is deeply rooted."
The druid stood up, looking at the party with a hint of grudging respect, "You have done well. Much better than I expected, to be honest. Fate may have chosen more wisely than I suspected. Tell me about yourselves - I'll try not to tune it out as much this time. In my defence, I have lived for three thousand years, I've gone through a great many introductions... After a while, it all becomes background noise."
The party introduced themselves to Reidoth again. When he came to Ramas, the old druid narrowed his eyes slightly,
"Ah yes - the thief. You have an opportunity for greatness here, but beware the forces you fraternize with. Not all have your best interests at heart..."
When the druid's gaze turned to Aetilius, he eyes widened slightly in surprise, before he caught himself and restored his usually inscrutable expression,
"Now this is interesting! It's been a long time since I last saw something new." he mused, "Tell me - what happened to you in there?"
Aetilius explained his story, of meeting Xanith and pledging himself to it's service. It was the first the party had heard of the details, and they seemed equally intrigued,
"So Xanith is awake at last" Reidoth muttered, half to himself, "It's true. We are entering an unprecedented time. This will certainly prove interesting"
Finally, Reidoth turned to Clootie, who was lurking to the side; cautious after being transformed into a weasel during their last proper conversation,
"You're definitely unusual for a forest gnome. Tell me your story" Reidoth asked
"Forest gnome? No - I'm a McToot" Clootie explained how she didn't really fit in with her clan, and she had been sent to live with the forest gnomes. She started to talk about leaving the forests and her early career as a star wrestler in the Sand Pits in Rakheen, but Reidoth quickly cut her off,
"A McToot? Really?!" he laughed, "I thought you were a curiosity for a forest gnome - but you are an enigma as a McToot!"
"You know the McToots?" Clootie asked, incredulously
"I've been around a long time child. I've met a few of your clan in my travels." Reidoth explained,
"In fact - there's a lone McToot who lives in the Onorhan Foothills. Just about fifteen miles north of here. What's his name again..." Reidoth mused, "Tam I think?"
Clootie was ecstatic at the prospect of meeting one of her clan. She begged the party to go visit. The rest of the group pointed to the injured gnome on the ground in front of Reidoth,
"I'll take care of the dwarf. I doubt you would be able to get him to help quickly enough anyway. Go. Enjoy yourself. I feel fate will require much of you soon" Reidoth said, transforming into a massive, man-sized snowy owl. He grabbed Tharden gently in his talons and took to the sky.
The party agreed to head north to find this mysterious McToot.
The party saddled the horses, and travelled north following Reidoth's direction. After a while, the woodlands began to clear, giving way to a steep upward slope covered with knee high grass and purple heather. A rough dirt path wound it's way up the hill.
Cresting a ridge, the path led down into a narrow valley. At the far end, nestled below a craggy outcropping, stood a ramshackle wooden hut. On one side of the valley, a single weather-beaten old oak tree grew stubbornly out of the steep slope. It's thick canopy of intertwined branches shaded a large part of the valley, in the middle of which squatted a wooden table and a solid looking wicker chair. On the table sat a dirty stone goblet half-full of strong smelling ale. Drawing closer, Ryoko sniffed it appreciatively. The party dismounted at the edge of the tree. Suddenly booming voice echoed from behind them
"Oi! Bigjobs! Whit ya dain'? Get yersels away tae fuck ken!"
The group turned to see a stocky gnome, with a shock of bright red hair and a bushy ginger beard, clumping down the path with his arms full of wood.
He storms past the group, deliberately bumping Miaug out of the way as he passed, and dropped the pile of wood outside the door to the shack. He turned to glare at them with a fierce glint in his eyes,
"Are ye fucking deef? Or just daft? What ya wantin'?"
He crossed heavily muscled arms in front of his chest. His skin was covered in pale blue tattoos. His nose was slightly crooked. It must have been broken and poorly set at some point in the past.
Clootie stepped forward,
"Hi. Are you Tam?"
He looked at her, warily "Ahm Tam. They used to call me Wee Angry Tam. Who's askin'?"
"I'm Clootie McToot"
Tam collapsed into laughter. This continued for a surprisingly long time. Clootie got more indignant with every passing second. She drew herself up to speak, but Tam raised his hand to silence her, still laughing. After about a minute, he wiped the tears from his eyes and calmed himself,
"Yer no a McToot surely - wi' yer fancy clothes and yer bigjob pals." his eyes narrowed and he stared at the little gnome,
"And whits wi' aw this... saftness. I bet if I stood on ye, you'd smoosh intae ma boot like a soggy shite!"
"I'm a McToot. Born and raised. I'll prove it" Clootie drew herself up to her full (unimposing) height.
"Oh aye?" Tam looked interested, "Proper square go? Clan style?"
"Aye"
Tam eyed the rest of the party warily, "You bigjobs, keep yer nebs oot. This is clan business"
He stripped off his dirty tunic, revealing a heavily muscles torso wreathed in pale blue symbols and runes.
"Lets do this. Clan rules. Nae weapons, nae aid, first tae yield."
Clootie dropped Kulog on the ground, readying herself, "Mon then!"
With an angry yell, Clootie ran up and struck him full in the chest with a thundering Superkick. Tam was knocked back, but swiftly rolled to his feet and into a wrestling stance. He started to circle. Clootie leaped forwards, grabbing him by the neck to deliver a Gun Stun, but Tam grabbed her by the waist, lifting her up and falling backwards, suplexing her into the ground.
As Clootie lay on the ground, Tam rolled aside and grabbed the wicker chair. As Clootie got to her feet, Tam smashed the chair over her back, causing her to stagger forwards. Clootie turned around and glared at Tam. Shrieking in anger, she grabbed the dwarf by the waist, lifted him and dropped him onto the table. Then she whistled to Aetilius, who stepped forward and cupped his hands. Clootie stepped up into the tiefling's hands and was thrown up into the air. She twisted in midair and smashed down elbow first into Tam's chest. The table crumpled underneath the force of the impact, and the breath left Tam's lungs in a wheezing rush. Recovering quickly, Tam jumped to his feet and scrambled up into the lower branches of the tree. He clapped his hands together and left into the air, coming down in a pin position to land on Clootie. The little gnome rolled nimbly out of the way. Tam reacted and tucked into a roll, coming up facing away from her. Clootie darted forward, leaping up onto Tam's back to catch him in a Coquina Clutch, but Tam swept her off. She tried to hop up to her feet, but Tam grabbed her by the throat and slammed her back into the ground. With a flick of her legs, she swept his feet out from under him and in the same motion rolled herself up to standing. She paced back and forth for a second, working the crowd. The party started to chant, "Fuck him up Clootie"
While she had her back turned, Tam got to his feet and grabbed for her neck again. Clootie dodged under his arm. She grabbed his back with one hand and his throat with the other; them she lifted Tam up, fell forward and plunged him into the ground with a thunderous smash. She got to her feet and stamped on him a few times.
Tam raised his hands, shouting, "Aye - that's enough lass. Ah gie in. You're nae as soft as ya look."
Clootie stopped stamping, and reached down to offer him a hand. He gripped it firmly and smiled warmly at her as he got to his feet,
"A'right then. Guess I owe aub'dy a pint..." he said, brightly.
He wandered into the shack. After a few minutes of muted banging, muttered swearing, and the breaking of glass he re-emerged carrying six stone cups and a dirty earthenware jug full of ale. He passed everyone a cup and the party all sat on the grass underneath the tree. The ale tasted foul. In spite of which, Ryoko drained the goblet in one throw and held it back out to Tam for a refill. Tam's eyes widened, and he looked at her appreciatively as he refilled her cup.
"So how did you end up here, by yourself?" Clootie asked,
"Aye that..." Tam chuckled to himself, "It's as tale as old as the hills. Aboot as shite too. It wiz a girl. Mary. She came to the clan to be the new Kelda. We got close. Really close ah mean. I thoat she wiz gonna pick me tae be the Bigman, but in the end she picked Big Jock. Needs o' the clan o'er needs o' the heart an aw that. I get it noo. Doesnae mean it hurt any less though. Anyways. Ah was pissed aff. So I nabbed the clan's prized magic kazoo. I wiz gonna use it tae play her a nice wee tune, try to woo her an that, but turns oot I'm pretty much fuckin' tone deef. Ah couldnae make it dae anyhin other than croak like a fuckin toad. So... I'd fucked mahself royally. Fer nuthin. And, on top o that, I'm pretty stubborn. So I figured - fuck it! Came doon South and built mahself a shite wee hoose. Been here ever since."
Tam threw back the last of his ale and poured himself a refill. Clootie, meanwhile, was practically trembling with excitement,
"Tam? Did you say a magic kazoo? What did it look like?"
"Like this..." Tam said, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a beautifully crafted kazoo, carved out of solid gold.
Clootie let out a tiny squeal of excitement. Tam looked at her in confusion. Clootie was unable to speak coherently, so Ryoko explained the gnome's quest to Tam on her behalf. Tam smiled to himself, then held it out to Clootie,
"Fuck it. There you go. Nae use ta me..."
Clootie's head looked like it was about to explode as she tentatively reached out and took it from the older gnome,
She brought it to her lips, and piped out a pretty little melody. Tam looked at her appreciatively,
"Aye, that's better lass. Yi'd make a pretty decent gonagle, ah'd say." he sighed,
"See if yi take that back tae the clan. Any chance yi could maybe put in a good word fer me. Ah'm getting bored of being doon here masel. It'd be nice to go hame"
The party chose to spend the night with Tam in his little valley. Clootie played traditional McToot songs; Ryoko and Tam got merrily hammered on Tam's stagnant ale, and the rest of the group relaxed and enjoyed each other's company (and a little of Ramas's rum)
Aetilius pulled out the brass mechanism he'd picked up from Kildrak's desk. Presumably this was the Lens of True Sight the dwarf had mentioned. Aetilius examined the device closely. The outer ring, comprising two bronze washers on either side of a knurled black steel wheel, set with five tiny sapphires; surrounded a two inch diameter brass iris. As the tiefling turned the steel wheel, the iris opened, revealing a shimmering crystal lens. Aetilius lifted the crystal lens to his eye. Through the lens, everything took on a pale blue hue. He could see that of the surfaces in the room were covered with glowing blue symbols, and five bright circles have been etched on the ground in front of the forge. The four outer circles were connected by lines to the central circle, from which two lines arced out, up the stairs of the forge, to the crystal orb,
"Smash the orb" Aetilius shouted up at Clootie. The gnome didn't need any further prompting to engage in wanton property damage, and promptly brought Kulog down on the surface of the sphere. A bright ringing sound emanated from the crystal, and then suddenly the orb disintegrated into tiny shards. An eerie howl seemed to echo through the cave, lingering for a moment and gradually fading away. With a shrug, Aetilius made his way back to the door. With a quick pull, it swung open revealing the Magi Quarters. Shadowy tendrils swirled in the middle of the corridor, and Aetilius instinctively readied Talon. The shadows coalesced into a small figure. Kildrak looked at party and smiled slightly. A pale silvery light illuminated the wraith, and with a sigh of relief Kildrak faded away.
Miaug suggested that they take another look through the Magi's quarters, she was curious to see if the hidden compartment she had found in Milos's room was present in any other of the rooms. The group agreed, and Miaug showed them where she had found the hidden compartment in the desk. The party split up to check the other rooms. Aetilius was immediately drawn to Eleanor's room and began poring over the alchemical textbooks, comparing them to the worn potion recipe he still carried in his pocket. He slipped the tomes into his bag before moving on, to examine at leisure later. Miaug went room to room, collecting every book she could find. By the time she had finished sweeping the Magi's Quarters, she could hardly carry her backpack. Ryoko found another hidden compartment in Macer's room. Inside she found another Nethonris signet ring, along with a detailed map of a city she did not recognise. She showed the map to the group, and Aetilius identified it as Kildrasil, his home city. Suddenly, Ramas remembered about Tharden, left back in the cave entrance. Unsure how long they'd been in the mines by this point, he pulled out the ruby and tried to contact the injured dwarf. No response. The party decided to move quickly back to the cave entrance.
As they approached the door to the Magi's Quarters, they realised that the goblins outside had stopped their banging. The party readied their weapons and cautiously opened the door. Outside the door, they found the a pile of corpses, goblins and bugbears. Not taking any chances, the group elected to proceed quietly until they were back in the mine tunnels.
With Jinx to guide them, they quickly made their way through the tunnels, emerging back into the entrance cave where they had left Tharden. Searching about in the cave, Miaug found the dwarf unconscious, slumped against the outside of the tent. His skin was clammy and his breath came in ragged gasps. Miaug and Aetilius looked him over. His wounds were severely infected, and he required urgent medical attention. Ryoko tried to cast a Healing Spell on him, but the magic did little to blunt the impact of the infection. Aetilius scooped the injured dwarf up and the party left the cave.
Outside the cave, Miaug heard a rustling in the treeline and immediately put a hand on Clootie's shoulder to draw her back. A massive white lion emerged from the undergrowth. It's looked over at the party, it's fur seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. The lion stood up on it's hind legs, and with a groaning, tearing sound it's bones rearranged and it's flesh seemed to twist and flow. In a moment or two, Reidoth stood in front of the group. He looked them up and down,
"I guess I underestimated you. Maybe you have potential after all" he admitted,
"Bring the dwarf to me" he gestured to Aetilius. The big tiefling gently lowered Tharden to the ground in front of Reidoth. The old druid knelt beside the injured creature and raised his hands, palm first, in front of him. A brilliant white light emanated from his palm, surrounding the druid and the dwarf, building in intensity until the party had to look away. After a moment, the light faded. Tharden's breath seemed to slow slightly, and the tension left his body,
"That should help for a while. I'll need to get him to a temple soon. My magic can only provide a temporary relief, the infection is deeply rooted."
The druid stood up, looking at the party with a hint of grudging respect, "You have done well. Much better than I expected, to be honest. Fate may have chosen more wisely than I suspected. Tell me about yourselves - I'll try not to tune it out as much this time. In my defence, I have lived for three thousand years, I've gone through a great many introductions... After a while, it all becomes background noise."
The party introduced themselves to Reidoth again. When he came to Ramas, the old druid narrowed his eyes slightly,
"Ah yes - the thief. You have an opportunity for greatness here, but beware the forces you fraternize with. Not all have your best interests at heart..."
When the druid's gaze turned to Aetilius, he eyes widened slightly in surprise, before he caught himself and restored his usually inscrutable expression,
"Now this is interesting! It's been a long time since I last saw something new." he mused, "Tell me - what happened to you in there?"
Aetilius explained his story, of meeting Xanith and pledging himself to it's service. It was the first the party had heard of the details, and they seemed equally intrigued,
"So Xanith is awake at last" Reidoth muttered, half to himself, "It's true. We are entering an unprecedented time. This will certainly prove interesting"
Finally, Reidoth turned to Clootie, who was lurking to the side; cautious after being transformed into a weasel during their last proper conversation,
"You're definitely unusual for a forest gnome. Tell me your story" Reidoth asked
"Forest gnome? No - I'm a McToot" Clootie explained how she didn't really fit in with her clan, and she had been sent to live with the forest gnomes. She started to talk about leaving the forests and her early career as a star wrestler in the Sand Pits in Rakheen, but Reidoth quickly cut her off,
"A McToot? Really?!" he laughed, "I thought you were a curiosity for a forest gnome - but you are an enigma as a McToot!"
"You know the McToots?" Clootie asked, incredulously
"I've been around a long time child. I've met a few of your clan in my travels." Reidoth explained,
"In fact - there's a lone McToot who lives in the Onorhan Foothills. Just about fifteen miles north of here. What's his name again..." Reidoth mused, "Tam I think?"
Clootie was ecstatic at the prospect of meeting one of her clan. She begged the party to go visit. The rest of the group pointed to the injured gnome on the ground in front of Reidoth,
"I'll take care of the dwarf. I doubt you would be able to get him to help quickly enough anyway. Go. Enjoy yourself. I feel fate will require much of you soon" Reidoth said, transforming into a massive, man-sized snowy owl. He grabbed Tharden gently in his talons and took to the sky.
The party agreed to head north to find this mysterious McToot.
The party saddled the horses, and travelled north following Reidoth's direction. After a while, the woodlands began to clear, giving way to a steep upward slope covered with knee high grass and purple heather. A rough dirt path wound it's way up the hill.
Cresting a ridge, the path led down into a narrow valley. At the far end, nestled below a craggy outcropping, stood a ramshackle wooden hut. On one side of the valley, a single weather-beaten old oak tree grew stubbornly out of the steep slope. It's thick canopy of intertwined branches shaded a large part of the valley, in the middle of which squatted a wooden table and a solid looking wicker chair. On the table sat a dirty stone goblet half-full of strong smelling ale. Drawing closer, Ryoko sniffed it appreciatively. The party dismounted at the edge of the tree. Suddenly booming voice echoed from behind them
"Oi! Bigjobs! Whit ya dain'? Get yersels away tae fuck ken!"
The group turned to see a stocky gnome, with a shock of bright red hair and a bushy ginger beard, clumping down the path with his arms full of wood.
He storms past the group, deliberately bumping Miaug out of the way as he passed, and dropped the pile of wood outside the door to the shack. He turned to glare at them with a fierce glint in his eyes,
"Are ye fucking deef? Or just daft? What ya wantin'?"
He crossed heavily muscled arms in front of his chest. His skin was covered in pale blue tattoos. His nose was slightly crooked. It must have been broken and poorly set at some point in the past.
Clootie stepped forward,
"Hi. Are you Tam?"
He looked at her, warily "Ahm Tam. They used to call me Wee Angry Tam. Who's askin'?"
"I'm Clootie McToot"
Tam collapsed into laughter. This continued for a surprisingly long time. Clootie got more indignant with every passing second. She drew herself up to speak, but Tam raised his hand to silence her, still laughing. After about a minute, he wiped the tears from his eyes and calmed himself,
"Yer no a McToot surely - wi' yer fancy clothes and yer bigjob pals." his eyes narrowed and he stared at the little gnome,
"And whits wi' aw this... saftness. I bet if I stood on ye, you'd smoosh intae ma boot like a soggy shite!"
"I'm a McToot. Born and raised. I'll prove it" Clootie drew herself up to her full (unimposing) height.
"Oh aye?" Tam looked interested, "Proper square go? Clan style?"
"Aye"
Tam eyed the rest of the party warily, "You bigjobs, keep yer nebs oot. This is clan business"
He stripped off his dirty tunic, revealing a heavily muscles torso wreathed in pale blue symbols and runes.
"Lets do this. Clan rules. Nae weapons, nae aid, first tae yield."
Clootie dropped Kulog on the ground, readying herself, "Mon then!"
With an angry yell, Clootie ran up and struck him full in the chest with a thundering Superkick. Tam was knocked back, but swiftly rolled to his feet and into a wrestling stance. He started to circle. Clootie leaped forwards, grabbing him by the neck to deliver a Gun Stun, but Tam grabbed her by the waist, lifting her up and falling backwards, suplexing her into the ground.
As Clootie lay on the ground, Tam rolled aside and grabbed the wicker chair. As Clootie got to her feet, Tam smashed the chair over her back, causing her to stagger forwards. Clootie turned around and glared at Tam. Shrieking in anger, she grabbed the dwarf by the waist, lifted him and dropped him onto the table. Then she whistled to Aetilius, who stepped forward and cupped his hands. Clootie stepped up into the tiefling's hands and was thrown up into the air. She twisted in midair and smashed down elbow first into Tam's chest. The table crumpled underneath the force of the impact, and the breath left Tam's lungs in a wheezing rush. Recovering quickly, Tam jumped to his feet and scrambled up into the lower branches of the tree. He clapped his hands together and left into the air, coming down in a pin position to land on Clootie. The little gnome rolled nimbly out of the way. Tam reacted and tucked into a roll, coming up facing away from her. Clootie darted forward, leaping up onto Tam's back to catch him in a Coquina Clutch, but Tam swept her off. She tried to hop up to her feet, but Tam grabbed her by the throat and slammed her back into the ground. With a flick of her legs, she swept his feet out from under him and in the same motion rolled herself up to standing. She paced back and forth for a second, working the crowd. The party started to chant, "Fuck him up Clootie"
While she had her back turned, Tam got to his feet and grabbed for her neck again. Clootie dodged under his arm. She grabbed his back with one hand and his throat with the other; them she lifted Tam up, fell forward and plunged him into the ground with a thunderous smash. She got to her feet and stamped on him a few times.
Tam raised his hands, shouting, "Aye - that's enough lass. Ah gie in. You're nae as soft as ya look."
Clootie stopped stamping, and reached down to offer him a hand. He gripped it firmly and smiled warmly at her as he got to his feet,
"A'right then. Guess I owe aub'dy a pint..." he said, brightly.
He wandered into the shack. After a few minutes of muted banging, muttered swearing, and the breaking of glass he re-emerged carrying six stone cups and a dirty earthenware jug full of ale. He passed everyone a cup and the party all sat on the grass underneath the tree. The ale tasted foul. In spite of which, Ryoko drained the goblet in one throw and held it back out to Tam for a refill. Tam's eyes widened, and he looked at her appreciatively as he refilled her cup.
"So how did you end up here, by yourself?" Clootie asked,
"Aye that..." Tam chuckled to himself, "It's as tale as old as the hills. Aboot as shite too. It wiz a girl. Mary. She came to the clan to be the new Kelda. We got close. Really close ah mean. I thoat she wiz gonna pick me tae be the Bigman, but in the end she picked Big Jock. Needs o' the clan o'er needs o' the heart an aw that. I get it noo. Doesnae mean it hurt any less though. Anyways. Ah was pissed aff. So I nabbed the clan's prized magic kazoo. I wiz gonna use it tae play her a nice wee tune, try to woo her an that, but turns oot I'm pretty much fuckin' tone deef. Ah couldnae make it dae anyhin other than croak like a fuckin toad. So... I'd fucked mahself royally. Fer nuthin. And, on top o that, I'm pretty stubborn. So I figured - fuck it! Came doon South and built mahself a shite wee hoose. Been here ever since."
Tam threw back the last of his ale and poured himself a refill. Clootie, meanwhile, was practically trembling with excitement,
"Tam? Did you say a magic kazoo? What did it look like?"
"Like this..." Tam said, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a beautifully crafted kazoo, carved out of solid gold.
Clootie let out a tiny squeal of excitement. Tam looked at her in confusion. Clootie was unable to speak coherently, so Ryoko explained the gnome's quest to Tam on her behalf. Tam smiled to himself, then held it out to Clootie,
"Fuck it. There you go. Nae use ta me..."
Clootie's head looked like it was about to explode as she tentatively reached out and took it from the older gnome,
She brought it to her lips, and piped out a pretty little melody. Tam looked at her appreciatively,
"Aye, that's better lass. Yi'd make a pretty decent gonagle, ah'd say." he sighed,
"See if yi take that back tae the clan. Any chance yi could maybe put in a good word fer me. Ah'm getting bored of being doon here masel. It'd be nice to go hame"
The party chose to spend the night with Tam in his little valley. Clootie played traditional McToot songs; Ryoko and Tam got merrily hammered on Tam's stagnant ale, and the rest of the group relaxed and enjoyed each other's company (and a little of Ramas's rum)
Report Date
20 Jan 2020
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