Human

The Cockroaches of the Multiverse

Basic Information

Anatomy

Humans are bipedal, grow hair in numerous places, and possess a skeleton made of calcium, covered by muscle and soft, tender flesh. This flesh is held in place with equally delicate skin. Although human hair can only naturally be blonde, brown, red, or black, many humans choose to dye it strange and unnatural colors, as it pleases them. A human usually possesses two arms, two legs, two hands, and ten fingers; growing more than this is considered a mutation, and such extra limbs are usually nonfunctional.

Genetics and Reproduction

Humans reproduce sexually, with the young gestating for approximately nine months. Human offspring receive genes from both parents in a complicated process that seems obtuse and obscure to everybody except humans. Regardless of what genes are inherited, all humans will insist their offspring are 'just the cutest thing ever', which has been in the run for 'Multiverse's biggest lie' two hundred years in a row. Sadly, it lost to 'black licorice was intended to be edible' every single year.
Human children physically mature when they are about thirteen years old, but do not mentally mature until well into their thirties.

Dietary Needs and Habits

Humans can, and will, eat just about anything. In times of true hardship, the species has been known to put hot sauce on completely inedible substances and call it good. However, when lacking hot sauce, humans have been known to innovate with what little they have, and produce truly delicious dishes. Other than the Fae, no other species has made such great strides with candy and sweets.

Civilization and Culture

Naming Traditions

All humans have a 'given' name, which is chosen for them at birth, and a family name, which is passed on through bloodline and sometimes marriage. Some humans may possess a 'middle' name, the connotations of which differ from universe to universe. Naming conventions are fantastically loose among humans; they will name their offspring whatever pleases them, with often little to no regard on the affect the name will have on their offspring. For this reason, many humans choose to go by nicknames rather than their given name, though this can backfire: some nicknames have become names over time.
Given names can be just about anything: objects, seasons, jewels, or even random nonsensical jumbles of letters. It's usually considered rude to laugh at a human's name, as in most cases they had no say in the matter.

Common Etiquette Rules

It's generally considered rude to refer to humans as 'monkeys', as most humans prefer to distance themselves from their evolutionary origins. Likewise, don't refer to humans as 'snacks' or 'prey', as being reminded of their fragility makes them uncomfortable.
Or do. Some humans are into that. We don't judge around here.

Interspecies Relations and Assumptions

Opinions of humans vary greatly among sapient species across the Multiverse, ranging from friendship, annoyance, hatred or even begrudging endearment. In general, humans are seen as the 'children' of the Multiverse: always eager to explore, discover, and learn when they can, blissfully innocent, prone to sticking their noses where they shouldn't, and overly trusting on all accounts. However, they are also prone to throwing tantrums when they don't get what they want, or when somebody kicks their sandcastle down. Less charitably, humans have also been called 'cockroaches', due to their impressive ability to survive and persist, even under unfortunate circumstances.


Vampires and humans have always had a highly contentious relationship. Originally, vampires saw humans as livestock, a senseless food source with no other value. The Moonborne War only strengthened the discontent, as Vampires sought to claim what they felt was their rightful hunt. Their loss there ceased the hunting of humans, and Vampires, their pride damaged, distanced themselves from humans. In that intervening time, the newer generation of Vampires have grown a slight affection for humans. Though often still haughty in their presence, there has been documentation of Vampires taking humans as lovers, proving that relations may be changing for the better among the two races.

^{A fictional depiction of a relationship between a human and a v- okay, okay, I'm kidding. Oh my gods, could you imagine?}

Werecreatures have been the guardians of humanity for centuries, due to originally being humans themselves. A growing acceptance of the supernatural means that this bond is being returned stronger than ever before, and most werecreatures will gladly nominate themselves the protectors of any human they grow fond of. This guardianship increases exponentially the more Fae there are in the general area.
Dragons have yet to forgive humanity for the numerous wars waged upon their kind, and so keep them all at a claw's length; half in fear of what their anger might wreak, and half in fear of what retribution their race might suffer afterwards. Humans, when polled on dragons, had responses that amounted to 'they're really pretty. I like it when they fly.'

Additional Information

Geographic Origin & Distribution

Humans, like cockroaches, can adapt to any number of climates, terrains, and biomes with an almost impressive tenacity. A good rule of thumb is that if a human is not expected to survive somewhere, they will do everything in their power to prove you wrong. Other species have been advised to not show surprise when finding a human somewhere strange, as this only encourages them.

Average Intelligence

While some would argue otherwise, almost all humans are capable of using language, forming ideas, and feeling emotions. These traits elevate them above animals, and also make them some of the most annoying creatures in the Multiverse. This trait is only amplified by how quickly humans can pick up on new information and extrapolate it, coming up with schemes and plans that most other species would never dream of. Inevitably, all such plans will be used to kill, aggravate, or annoy all other species within the human's vicinity.

Perception & Sensory Capabilities

A typical human possesses five senses: sight, touch, hearing, taste, and smell. Although some humans also possess the sixth sense, magic, it's often completely random which do (save that magical ability can be passed down through bloodlines) and to what extent they can control it.

Lifespan

The lifespan of humans varies greatly depending on the technological and magical advancement of their universe. 100 years serves as a good baseline.

Average Height

The average adult human can be anywhere from 5 to 6 1/2 feet, but it's not uncommon for a human to be shorter or taller than this.

Average Weight

An average human male weighs between 76 - 83 kg. The average human female weighs 54 - 64 kg.

Average Physique

Human physique can range from scrawny to muscled and almost all ranges in-between. However, even the strongest human pales in comparison to weaker members of other species, making them, overall, a fragile and delicate race. They are, however, surprisingly quick runners.

Body Tint, Colouring and Marking

Human coloring can vary from a pale pink to a dark brown, and depends on ancestral and environmental factors. Humans can also artificially change the color of their skin by 'tanning', but this is temporary.