Mandatory Happiness Mobile

EMPLOYEE 147-B, YOU ARE DISPLAYING INSUFFICIENT LEVELS OF PASSION FOR YOUR WORK. PREPARE TO BE ENCOURAGED.

— Common Mandatory Happiness Mobile message

In a perfect world, corporations expect workers to go to work with a skip in their step and a song in their hearts, no matter how many meetings they're forced to endure or even if it happens to be Monday. But no matter how many corporate slogans they invent or motivational posters they plaster on the walls of their office, some employees just can't seem to get the hint.
It is for such cases that every corp retains a fleet of what they call "Mobile Motivation," but everyone else has come to call Mandatory Happiness Mobiles. Though they might vary in appearance depending on what corporation they belong to, Mobiles all fill the same purpose - to bring joy to the working force, whether they like it or not.

by WiseStep

Smile! (Or Else)

WORKERS REJOICE! PRODUCTIVITY HAS INCREASED BY 0.054%! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

— Common Mandatory Happiness Mobile message

Mandatory Happiness Mobiles usually take the form of large vans, dressed in corporate colors and laden with speakers, Javamats, aerosol drug dispensaries, antennas, and motivational posters. The interior is filled with storage tanks and an elaborate setup of computers to handle all the data collected both from the Mobile and its corporate handlers.

by Pat Research

Thus armed, the Mobiles drive from work site to work site, speakers blaring and extolling employees to work hard, monitor for sufficient levels of enthusiasm, and the artificial enhancement of that when it is lacking.
The first strike is always an auditory assault of corporate slogans, jingles, voice clips from the CEO, followed by plastering the workplace with "inspirational" items. These range from posters to pictures of the CEO to reminders that they can get fired at any time, including right now if they don't turn that frown upside down.

Should such brilliant techniques somehow fail to motivate the despondent employee, the Mandatory Happiness Mobile will escalate. The crew will exit the vehicle, dressed in costumes of the corporate mascots, and perform while the van sprays the area with aerosol encouragement (i.e., drugs). Java is also available for employee consumption, with a special blend that can get even a corpse back to work.

No, no! Stay away! I'm feeling better, I promise! Ahahah, I'm having so much fun! I love my work so much, you have to believe me!

— Employee 56-32-A2

by The Word Salad

A-VR Vehicles

The corporations haven't forgotten those who do most of their work inside an augmented or virtual reality, sending digitalized representations of the Mandatory Happiness Mobiles to inspire those who are found wanting.
These are run en masse either by simple AI or batched together in programs. As such, they tend to be a lot less varied in their approach but make up for it with volume.

Such computerized mobiles will usually just recycle a few lines of praise or feedback endlessly.
Sometimes, it will find an employees' personal social media account to continue the encouragement there.

by Sabelskaya

Mandatory Reactions

If every effort of the Mobile fails or an employee reacts particularly poorly, every Mobile comes equipped with a containment cage for removing them. Showing signs of the Monday mood usually leads to a quick trip to the cage.

Just in case, most Mobiles have pink-slip cannon for showering mobs of ungrateful employees.

Mandatory Murder

Sometimes, some people just don't want to be cheered up, and the grating, non-stop attack of corporate slogans have been known to lead to riots.
For this reason, the Mobiles themselves are often armed with automated weapon systems, while the crew carries everything from shotguns to Shockpikes.