A Fool I Be
Sprick's delight quickly decayed into despair as three figures entered the room. Mythrite’s grace and beauty herself, Qai Chia had finally returned to bless him with her presence. Yet, she had brought unexpected company; both were armed with daggers, and neither looked friendly. An orc the size of a mountain stood to her left, and to her right, a scar-covered dwarf who was no taller than the counter at Sprick's store. He looked just like one of the miners, Jol, too… scars included. Perhaps they were siblings?
It took a moment for Qai to process her utter disbelief, but once she did, her face went from dumbfounded astonishment to that of childish delight. The silence that had filled the guest room was overtaken by her uproarious laughter. Qai Chia, who was just the symbol of poise and demeanor seconds ago, was in keeled over and holding her stomach, laughing in hysterics. Even the two stern guards joined in for a chuckle with the bellowing woman. Yet, Sprick stood a clueless fool as the others howled in their delights.
“I really can’t believe it! You were right!” Qai turned to the dwarf and patted him on his shoulder with her one hand and dried her tears with the other. “Just how stupid could he get?”
Sprick stumbled as he jumped out from the cushioned seat and back onto his feet. His legs were asleep from spending majority of the day slouched in the chair, waiting for Qai to return. The half-elf tried to qualm his panic and regain his poise before he spoke. “B-… Ahem, beg pardon, Ms. Chia? M-may I ask, are you referring to me?”
Qai's face went from delight to deadpan as she turned towards Sprick . “You really don’t get it, do you? Pfft, you truly are pathetic. Because I’m so generous, Oh, I suppose I’ll have to spell it out for you. I did this to waste your time, you inept idiot.”
Sprick stumbled back in surprise; truly Qai couldn’t be this ruthless. “Wha- b-but you said you wer-“
She tilted her head and shined a polite smile at him. “Finishing business? Mmm, yes.” Her face grew cold once more as she stared daggers toward Sprick. “Yours. Now guards, please. Take it away; we’re done here. Oh, and if you let him struggle, you’ll get no pay from me.”
Sprick's body toppled atop of itself as he landed jaw first onto the cold ground, sending his mind spinning. If the saying 'trust em’ as far as you could throw ‘em' held any worth, Sprick must be one trustable fellow. The guards managed to throw him more than ten paces away from Chia's’s storefront. If it wasn’t for the fresh blanket of snow the biting blizzard brought with it, he surely would have lost more than a few teeth upon impact. The sun had set, and the veil of night swallowed the town. Good. At least nobody saw Sprick being thrown from the store. Just how long had he been waiting for Qai? Any sane man would’ve had more respect for themselves and left minutes after being showed up, let alone hours. So why had Sprick stayed so long? If only he had the answer. Naivety? Goodwill? Who knew. But just as his mind began to search for answers, the blizzard’s biting winds reawakened his senses from the fall. As Sprick lifted his face from the snow, he noticed Qai standing in the doorway from which he was just tossed from, clapping. Grinning. “Hm? What’s with that look now, Mr. Grimmer, dearie? Don’t be so judgmental; we’re no different, you and I.” She turned her gaze towards her guards, then back to Sprick. ”We both use others for our profit. You used the miners. And now I, used you. Oh, and the miners too now.” She brought her hand to her lips and chuckled. ”Your plan truly was quite brilliant, you know? Oh, I guess I should say my plan now, shouldn’t I? Creating a coal monopoly right before the winter strikes? Quite innovative, if I do say so myself!” Sprick squirmed in the snow. His head was still spinning from the hit to his jaw, and his legs slipped in the snow as he struggled to get back onto his feet. Qai laughed at the sight of his plight. Sprick's’s rage boiled inside of him as he glared the witch down. “D’aw, are you upset? You had your chance now but decided to give it up, sweetie.” Her gaze was colder than any blizzard’s gust. “I was just hungrier than you.” Qai signaled her two guards to re-enter her store, before making her way in herself. But not before her getting in the last word. “Oh, do try to be careful on the way home, by the by. Lots of dangerous muggings around here recently. We wouldn’t want the foolish businessman to meet a fool’s end now, would we?” With a laugh and a chuckle, she slammed the door forcefully, leaving Sprick to his lonesome in the midst of a blizzard. He’d originally come here on just a friendly visit… to see who had bested him in the coal market. But never had he thought his rival’d be so wicked. Sure, he would’ve been happy to strike upa deal, but nothing beyond that in regards to work… Yet, Sprick'd lost out on a whole day of business, not really quite like it mattered anymore. Not when all of his suppliers, the miners, brought their dealings here now. Qai Chia really had won. “Fine then… so be it.” After enough squirming, Sprick had finally managed to get his footing, and stood against the snowstorm. “Mayhaps we’re similar, but we’re absolutely not alike… After all, I’m a fool… aren’t I?” Sprick continued to mutter to himself. “I… NEVER… used anyone… and… if seeing people as actual people… and not just some damn means to an end… as tools… makes me a fool? Then fine. So damn be it. A fool I be.”
Sprick's body toppled atop of itself as he landed jaw first onto the cold ground, sending his mind spinning. If the saying 'trust em’ as far as you could throw ‘em' held any worth, Sprick must be one trustable fellow. The guards managed to throw him more than ten paces away from Chia's’s storefront. If it wasn’t for the fresh blanket of snow the biting blizzard brought with it, he surely would have lost more than a few teeth upon impact. The sun had set, and the veil of night swallowed the town. Good. At least nobody saw Sprick being thrown from the store. Just how long had he been waiting for Qai? Any sane man would’ve had more respect for themselves and left minutes after being showed up, let alone hours. So why had Sprick stayed so long? If only he had the answer. Naivety? Goodwill? Who knew. But just as his mind began to search for answers, the blizzard’s biting winds reawakened his senses from the fall. As Sprick lifted his face from the snow, he noticed Qai standing in the doorway from which he was just tossed from, clapping. Grinning. “Hm? What’s with that look now, Mr. Grimmer, dearie? Don’t be so judgmental; we’re no different, you and I.” She turned her gaze towards her guards, then back to Sprick. ”We both use others for our profit. You used the miners. And now I, used you. Oh, and the miners too now.” She brought her hand to her lips and chuckled. ”Your plan truly was quite brilliant, you know? Oh, I guess I should say my plan now, shouldn’t I? Creating a coal monopoly right before the winter strikes? Quite innovative, if I do say so myself!” Sprick squirmed in the snow. His head was still spinning from the hit to his jaw, and his legs slipped in the snow as he struggled to get back onto his feet. Qai laughed at the sight of his plight. Sprick's’s rage boiled inside of him as he glared the witch down. “D’aw, are you upset? You had your chance now but decided to give it up, sweetie.” Her gaze was colder than any blizzard’s gust. “I was just hungrier than you.” Qai signaled her two guards to re-enter her store, before making her way in herself. But not before her getting in the last word. “Oh, do try to be careful on the way home, by the by. Lots of dangerous muggings around here recently. We wouldn’t want the foolish businessman to meet a fool’s end now, would we?” With a laugh and a chuckle, she slammed the door forcefully, leaving Sprick to his lonesome in the midst of a blizzard. He’d originally come here on just a friendly visit… to see who had bested him in the coal market. But never had he thought his rival’d be so wicked. Sure, he would’ve been happy to strike upa deal, but nothing beyond that in regards to work… Yet, Sprick'd lost out on a whole day of business, not really quite like it mattered anymore. Not when all of his suppliers, the miners, brought their dealings here now. Qai Chia really had won. “Fine then… so be it.” After enough squirming, Sprick had finally managed to get his footing, and stood against the snowstorm. “Mayhaps we’re similar, but we’re absolutely not alike… After all, I’m a fool… aren’t I?” Sprick continued to mutter to himself. “I… NEVER… used anyone… and… if seeing people as actual people… and not just some damn means to an end… as tools… makes me a fool? Then fine. So damn be it. A fool I be.”
Starting in the "middle of a scene" as we feel the distraught and concern filling Sprick in the beginning? That is how you set the mood in a scene! As you described the characters and what one could see in the room in the beginning, further emphasizing the confusion your character feels as they and the readers try to piece together what is going on, and why the guards were with Qai Chia, instead of narrating but showing? Also phenomenal! Thanks to that being set in the beginning of the scene, it helps build up the interaction between the two characters as now we have a foundation to build the dialogue atop of. Doing that for the second half of your vignette also helps with the transition! If there's one thing that could make this piece even fuller, is the inclusion of the environment itself. While I believe you did a good job describing the characters and the cold blizzard in the outside, using the characters moods and focuses as well, I firmly believe if you found a way to incorporate not only what was going through Sprick's head as he questions what was going on, but also to apply his senses, like "as he felt the cold fill his face" when he hits the ground, or the clash of his rage and frustration against the cold winds of sorts, it would help us readers further connect directly as though we were in his shoes.